Top 10 Excuses given during an interview for not wanting to take a drug screening on the same day of the interview.
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth~ Not with these applicants.
Being in Human Resources can be a stressing job. But, then there are those days where you meet some very "special" candidates who make it hard not to laugh at the level of stupidity they sink to. I have heard a lot of excuses on why an applicant cannot take a drug screen. But, these are my favorites.
1- Applicant - "I don't think I should take a drug screen today". (HR) Really, why is that? Applicant - "Because, last night, I was sitting on my balcony and the tenants in the apartment who live under me were smoking some of that wacky weed and I think I may have breathed some of their drugs in". (HR) - Inhaling doesn't allow it to get in your bloodstream. I think you will be fine taking the test. Applicant - Oh, cool. (Applicant failed drug screen - cocaine and marijuana). Wasn't just the wacky weed after all. It was just the whack job who applied.
2- Applicant - " You seem like a nice enough lady. I took me a couple of tokes from my pops blunt last night. If you can give me a few days, it will be out of my system and I can pass your test". (HR) - Thanks, but I think I will pass. Have a nice day. You should be getting a follow up card in the next 7 days.
3- Applicant -" I haven't had anything to drink today, I don't think I can go". (HR) "No problem, all I need you to do is put this swab in your mouth and hold it for 3 minutes. I'll even give you a piece of candy to get the bad taste out of your mouth". Applicant, gets up and leaves with no drug screen and decides this isn't the job for him.
4- Applicant - "I really need this job lady. So, how about just let me slide this time. I will give up my weed smoking for good. (HR) How about give up the weed smoking for good and re-apply when you have your habit under control and your priorities straight.
5- Applicant- "Um, how many days does your drug test go back?" (HR) If you have to ask that question, then you probably don't need the test. I will be in touch. Have a good day!
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck!
Human Resources can be entertaining. Take these five applicants with explanations about their backgrounds and why they decided to not check the box.
1- (HR) - I noted that you did not answer the question about the background check. Applicant - "Uh, yeah, I must have forgot to check the box. The answer is no". (HR) Great, you do understand that a NCIC check will show up in multiple states? Applicant - " Oh, well there was something about 5 years ago in Georgia, but that should have fallen off by now". (HR) You do realize that background checks are not like bad credit, when you get convicted of a felony or misdemeanor it stays with you for life? Applicant - "For reals? Snap, guess that means I don't get the job".
2- (HR) - I noticed you didn't answer the criminal background question. Can you answer that for me now? Applicant - Well, I just got released last week and I wasn't sure how to answer the question.
3- (HR) - I looked at the application and noticed that you did put down a criminal history, but that you did not complete the description of details. Can you complete that for me now? Applicant - I couldn't , there wasn't enough room. So I just wrote it on this separate sheet of paper.
4- (HR) - I noted that you checked yes and no on the felony background question. Can you tell me which answer is correct? Applicant - It depends on whether you will accept my new life in lieu of my past life.
5- (HR) - Can you answer this question for me? Applicant - I could, but you're not going to like the answers.
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