The Law Wouldn't Drive You Nuts? Teaching Would Be Fun? Medical Wouldn't Wear You Out? Go for the Real, Not the "Dream"

When I was working with paralegals, one quarter of whom would go on to law school, I heard from a lawyer friend over lunch --- she looked straight into my eyes with complete sincerity: "I didn't know I would hate BEING a lawyer!

When people choose careers, they tend to choose them at the same time they are making head long leaps into romance. In Youth, we tend to be optimistic and full of ourselves. That is good and only natural. Our species survives because of the power of impulsive youth. The benefits are that youth gives us momentum to burst through the paralyzing "Bambi in the headlights" feeling that facing life can give you. And there are great benefits that come from being young, full of energy and loaded with self confidence. However, there are also warnings too.

"Blinders" Can Come From Falling In Love with a Person or a Career

Students in University joke about how many changes they make in their majors and minors. The period from 18 to the mid 20's is acknowledged as a time when we are "making up our minds" about lots of things. So, let us admit that its natural and kind of automatic to go through a lot of mind changing.

However, we tend to put on "blinders" at this time when we move toward decisions. Whether it's pride, impulsiveness, a desire not to be wrong, it is easy to ignore strong negative features of chosen careers, as we hurtle toward the inviting arms of your chosen profession.

Changing From Sociology To Business

The Father shared his input. He told her that his opinion was that she was not made for Sociology, but restrained himself from making any comments in that regard. He said, "I felt if I made a negative comment, then that might push you toward what I did not think was right for you." She smiled. "You were probably right. Well, I came to my senses." (See the Callout).

Why Not To Be A Lawyer

A female lawyer told her friend after about 5 years of practice in the world of litigation that she was seriously considering leaving the law.

However, I did not contemplate the temperamental aspects. Frankly, a couple of my female friends have said the same thing." She shared her feelings throughout the lunch. "I just did not consider how the world of litigation is just one battle after another. It's not that the arguments are that difficult. They are tediously the same.

My temperament is just not comfortable with constant negative conflict. I know there are other areas of the law that are more predictable and less friction filled. Probate, Elder Law, Estates and Administration are different; but I feel like before I decided to go to law school and borrow tens of thousands of dollars, I failed to ask -- "Am I temperamentally suited for this?"

A Cop on TV Versus a Real Life Cop

One young man put it this way: "Law enforcement is a lot of phone calls. Tons of procedure and rules. I know that sounds naive, but I was so caught up with the dramatic part of it, I failed to realize that the largest percentage of law enforcement is not pulling your gun, or getting ready to pull your gun. It hit me hard when a 20 year guy said, I have never shot my gun."

A Minister Who Slept Through His Own Sermons

Many in the clergy do not consider whether they will be good at Homiletics, or Preaching. Some find that they fear the actual work of public speaking. Some find they run out of ideas. Ironically, those who ARE good speakers and preachers tend to do very well as ministers, even though preaching and getting ready for it does not take that much time.

Preachers who don't enjoy the counseling aspect as much can also experience difficulties. It is tough when you dislike preaching, or are not effective. It tends to affect your whole career. It can get you transferred a lot. Falling in love with the laity can bring sadness when they don't fall in love with you.

Teaching Has Lots of Homework

In a way, teaching suffers in an opposite way from the ministry. Everybody knows a teacher teaches. People say - "Hey you would make a good teacher. You are a good talker and you are patient and thorough as you speak." However, there is much homework as a teacher.

There is class preparation, administration, compliance and test and test creation. Teachers have great benefits these days and wonderful retirement packages. However, potential teachers do not ponder the low pay in the beginning, or if you are in the university atmosphere the struggle before tenure. Teaching is a mixed bag. They say it is a calling, like the ministry. When they talk about it being a calling what they are saying is this: "You better really want to be a teacher or a minister because there are some inherent negatives involved."

When people try to get out of the professions of the Clergy and Teaching, they tend to have a harder time re-situating themselves.

Johnny Get Your Gun, But Clean It First

Talk to people who take orders, and give orders. Talk to people about rules and personal conduct, and how all of these things are impacted. Talk to people of low rank, talk to people of high rank. Get one of those people to try to talk you out of it. No, really. Sit down one of those you contact and request this: "Please try to talk me out of this choice." The effect that this will have is give you an experiential affect.

A Call For Self Understanding

Whatever the career you are contemplating, the negatives about the job can be discovered and considered. These days, there are batteries of tests that you can take that will tell you how and why you will do well, or poorly in a given job choice. It is easy to fool ourselves about our selves. Tests and other people's opinions can be very helpful when it comes to these heavy and life-making decisions.

Romanticizing Not Advisable

Once the romance ends, it is much like a love relationship. Sometimes it can be so dizzying that people's performance on the job become negatively noticeable. Sometimes people can receive poor reviews, and even lose their jobs because this disenchantment cripples them.

Arm yourself against yourself, and see how this exercise affects you. If you afraid to do this, then that very fear probably sends you a message all by itself.