Are you Dealing with a Workplace Bully?

Work Place Bully

Source

Workplace Bully Statistics according to PRNewswire

Statistics on work place bullying done in MENLO PARK, Calif., Sept. 15, 2015

According to recent research from staffing firm OfficeTeam, about one in three (35 percent) workers surveyed admitted they've had an office bully. More than one-quarter (27 percent) of human resources (HR) managers interviewed said they think workplace bullying happens at least somewhat often at their company.

When employees were asked how they responded to a bully, 32 percent stated they confronted the person. Another 27 percent told their manager, and 17 percent did nothing.

Research on Work Bullying

I felt compelled to write about the topic of 'women bullies in the work place' because it recently hit close to home in my life. Before I go into my personal story, I'd like to shed a little light on the topic as it relates to the research.

Some of the Research

Unfortunately, research indicates that being bullied at work is prevalent in today's society. According to Psychologist, Dr. Gary Namie, co-founder of "Workplace Bullying Institute," 35% of Americans have reported being bullied at their jobs. I was surprised to learn that workplace bullying is four times more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination. A major problem with this work force epidemic, is that there are no anti-bullying laws in place like there is for sexual harassment or racial discrimination. This poses a logical question of how one handle's the situation if he/she finds herself/himself in it.

Most of the research I found was pretty straight forward about how to handle it. First, after attempting to work things out with no resolve, file a complaint. If your being bullied at work, document it in some way. Whether it's writing down events in a notebook (so you can keep track of it) or having a tape recorder on, get some evidence. The next step is going to your supervisor's boss or superior and sharing your experience. Be careful about how you go about this. Most agencies or supervisor's will have doubts on your claims if you pose them with a relationship slant. Instead, bring out the sick time you've had to take or how your work is suffering, due to the bullying. This will help to ensure your claims will not be taken as your character flaw or inability to get along with others. In some dysfunctional agencies or cases, your reporting will fall on deaf ears and often times escalate the bullies anger. This is when it's time to say, "enough is enough." There is no job or money in the world, worth putting up with abusive and bullying behavior. It negatively affects your physical and mental health and well-being.



Work Bullies

Have you ever Been Bullied at your Work Place

  • Yes and I stayed
  • No
  • Yes and I left the company
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Personal Story on Work Bullying

I decided to write about this topic after watching my sister suffer with an abusive supervisor. After working as a 'Director of Volunteers' for nine years at a Social Service Agency, she was given a new supervisor. The woman lacked the skills necessary to be put in a position to supervise anyone, much less my capable sister. She was unprofessional, inexperienced and a 'first class' bully. My sister did everything right-after several attempts at working things out with the new supervisor, she filed a 'formal' complaint. Unfortunately, after showing the courage to make the complaint, the bullying escalated, and her life at work became a living hell. I wont even repeat the cruel, humiliating, belittling, demeaning, sarcastic things she said to my sister.

Although my sister is the primary breadwinner of this family, she had the courage and self-love to leave the company. She is a woman of great faith and knew the Lord would guide her. He would not want his daughter spending one more day in that dark and toxic environment. She was given a severance package, and when that ended, received unemployment insurance. I am happy and proud to report that she found a new job only a few months after leaving the hostile environment. She makes significantly more money, doesn't wear several hats as she did at her last job, but most importantly, she is treated with the respect a professional like her deserves.

*Life is too short to work in a hostile environment*


© 2013 Linda Rogers

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Comments 64 comments

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Boy, can I relate to this scenario! The only difference, thank goodness, is that this woman is NOT my supervisor, and she bullies everyone and seems to get away with it. You are so wise about documenting each episode. I am so thankful that your precious sister left that toxic environment! The Lord is so good to watch out for His children. I am okay, as I do not have to deal with this woman directly each day.

Thank you for writing on this important issue in the workplace of women bullies, as it is a real issue no doubt!

Voted up ++++ and sharing.

God bless. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Are you still working at the place with the bully?

I do know it's really different when it's someone that supervises you versus someone that doesn't, but I dislike the thought you have to be around that kind of person. Sis thought this gal was really nice before she became her super. Like any bully or abuser, they can be very charming at first. Once she started supervising sis, her true colors came out. She should have never been a supervisor in the first place. She's manipulative and didn't have experience. It feels good that this bad experience turned into a positive thing and my sister is at a great agency now. Thanks so much for reading and sharing. Blessings Faith.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Great job my friend. I had a woman bully as a principal at the last school I taught at....and I walked out one day in October, never to return. You summed it up perfectly when you said life is too short. I'm very happy that your sister was able to find a new job so quickly. Bravo!


Larry Wall 3 years ago

Bullying can take several forms, and it can impact men and women. I will be writing a hub soon about my leaving my most-recent job, after working only three months. A new dept. head came in and instead of taking time to learn what people do, how they met goals, etc. he lays one of those think positive, be positive canned pep talks on everyone. The next day I came to work, and he asked if I had the letter (first letter of the store name) on my back. I replied, "I am here." We had this exchange about five times in a couple of minutes, and I was soon in his office. He offered his views and I replied that if I am at work, I will be doing the best I can depending on circumstances, which can range from not feeling well, learning a loved one is dying, or having an unexpected bill which mustto be paid. He stepped back a little, but I knew the relationship was going to be tense. I gave my two week noticethe next day to the store manager and remarked that I could not work for the new department head.

My co-workers thanked me--not for leaving, but for showing the new supervisor that he cannot push people around. I am in a good position to leave. Everyone is not, but the news of my leaving and spread throughout the store, and everyone appears please that I put the supervisor on notice that the workers are people with personal issues and everyday will not be a great day, but it will be the best they can do on that day. Sometimes standing up to a bully means taking drastic action and what I did is not always possible. However, the main thing to do is not allow yourself to be intimidated. Each situation is different, but you have to take the first step when dealing with an office bully.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Thank you for this. At my oil company. it was this "lady" in accounting. She really knew her stuff. But dominatrix!She had to be let go, because she couldn't adjust to the new policies. But it took 4 people to replace her.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 3 years ago

I am sad to say that this is a common occurrence. I am happy that your sister got through this and went on to better things. I am also sad to say that more women than me are guilty of this. It makes me sick.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Linda. There are bullies everywhere, male and female, and your sister made the right decision when she left to find a healthier environment. Good for her. Harassment in the workplace can be either sexual or hostile (creating a hostile environment) and as you point out, no one should have to work under those circumstances.


Snurre profile image

Snurre 3 years ago

Hi Linda, sorry to hear about your sister's terrible experience. I hope that everything works out for her at her new job. I was bullied at work once by the school's deputy head (I was a music teacher). In the end, I had to bully her back, tell her she was a nobody and suggest that the best thing for her to do was to bog off. It was very funny because it was a 20 y.o. intimidating a 50 y.o. Anyway, I stayed and she never said a single thing to me ever again. I did leave the school only when I got bored with the whole thing. LOL

Voted up and more.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Billy and so nice to see you my friend. I can't believe a principal at a school is a bully. What a sad thing for the staff and the children. I am so glad you loved yourself enough to walk out that door. Usually, a bully is not going to change, so all we can do is make the move and Leave the situation.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Way to go Larry! Just reading your story got me all worked up. Businesses lose so much money because of ego maniacs like this. It is so not worth dealing with bullies at work. Life is hard enough without going into a job everyday that makes you miserable. I left a job years back for the same reason you and my sister did. We got a new Director at a social services agency. She had little experience, less schooling, and a mad passion for bullying us all. She fired some of our staff because she knew the oldies wouldn't put up with her crap, and the rest of us left on our own. In the end, she was fired, but it was after some of their best employees had already left or been fired by this woman, What I learned in my experience, is she was insecure and envious that most of us had Master's degrees and years in the field and she didn't. Therefore, to comfort her ego, she treated us like we were losers. I know, it makes no sense and is so immature and ridiculous.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Mhatter-wow, this gal sounds like she was very unique. LOL It's just a shame when work becomes miserable because of one or two bad apples/bullies.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Bpop-Please tell me your not saying you've been a bully because I don't believe it's in you. I have known you too long on HubPages and the only person I can see you being angry at is our president. LOL


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi drbj-Yes, there are many forms of harassment at the workplace for sure. I am so blessed that sis had the courage to leave. The sad thing about it is she use to love her job before that bully came. The staff nicknamed this woman and the CEO, "the mean girls." LOL it's a perfect fit. Instead of being on the playground or school grounds, these two women gang up on employees at work. I thank God every day that my sister is out of that situation. What a relief! Don't people know? No one screws with a twin. LOL


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Dear Snurre-you just got me laughing so hard and people at Caribou are looking at me like I'm crazy. You really just made my day. I could visualize the whole conversation going down and how beautifully you handled it. That young buck didn't know who she was dealing with. LOL

Your my hero :-)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Linda, so sorry to hear of your sister's bullying experience.. I am surprised i never had that happen to me since i was in the nursing field for several years. I did see a DON make a nures's life miserable because she just did not like her. The nurse quit and the DON did not last long either. Happy things turned out great. Karma is a good thing sometimes..Hugs...


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I'm sorry that your sister had such an unpleasant experience, Linda, and I'm glad that she had the courage to walk away. I've been lucky - I haven't been bullied in the workplace. I know someone who has, though. It took all the enjoyment out of her job. Luckily, like your sister she left the job and found a new one where she was much happier.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Alicia-It's ok sweetie as God has led her. I am already looking at this hostile supervisor as a blessing. My sister hasn't looked this happy in two years. She absolutely loves her new job. We have lost both of our parents and she is now a Director at a Senior Living Agency. She gets lots of love from the residents and she loves what she's doing. It doesn't get any better than that. We both really 'let go and let God' when this new supervisor started bullying her, and it paid off. God knew sis trusted and he walked her where she was meant to be. Great to have you come by and visit Alicia. Glad to hear your friend found greener pastures as well. Sometimes these bad things end up being opportunities. Woo Hoo!


joym7 profile image

joym7 3 years ago from United States

Good analysis and great efforts to make this hub superb.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

What a great topic, Minnie, and a powerful story shared. These abusers are everywhere in the workplace. Frustrated, jealous bosses with a little power who learn quickly how to abuse the privilege of management.

My first encounter with this was at a bank when I was eighteen. Two of the four new accounts reps formed an alliance with the sole purpose of running me off. The fourth was a kind and loving woman who was the only reason I stayed at the job.

My dear sister was recently run off from a position at a church, if you can believe that. Doing the Lord's work, for these bullies (one in particular), apparently included belittling and demeaning the contributions of others. Funny thing is, my sister was a volunteer whose ideas for programs and fund raisers were helping those in need. It is staggering to see this in the workplace.


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 3 years ago from Cambridgeshire

I'm sorry your sister had to endure this situation, it's an awful experience.

I've been lucky in that I had great teaching from my Dad in how to deal with bullies. I even set up a group at school that helped other girls who were having issues, sadly the victims were nearly always those who were not equipped to defend themselves properly, disabled or not as confident as we were.

I abhor bullying in all its' evil forms, great Hub, well done and I hope your sister is able to move on from her experience.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

I appreciate your nice comment Joy. I think when a topic hits home for a writer, it flows with ease. Thanks for reading.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Peg and thanks for sharing your bully stories. How sad is that, that a church has bullies working for their mission. How backwards that they would push your sister out when she was helping those in need. It goes to show how these bullies only focus on what and who they want to run out or just plain demean. I also find it sad that you learned so young, how scary a workplace can be. You were right on the money when you said, bullies are women who are jealous and frustrated and use their position of power to make the rest of us miserable.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Bumpsysmum-what a wonderful endeavor you have taken on by setting up groups at school to help with the problem of bullying. I too abhor bullies. Their usually doing it because they love the control, are jealous, or just want to get to the top. The supervisor my sister had, was definitely threatened by my sisters's years of experience in the field, as well as her post grad education. She also belittled her to get sis to do her work for her. It just makes me so mad thinking of things this woman did and said to my sister. I am grateful she found a new job that she adores. She is being treated with the respect she deserves now and you can see it in her face everyday she walks in the door from work.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 3 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

I have a sister too that was bullied for two years at her work by a woman who had it out for her. The woman found a lame excuse to finally fire her which is what she wanted all along. I feel my sister is much better off, and now she can find something more rewarding where she is valued. I just feel bad for her that it ended the way it did. I'm glad things worked out for the better for you and will pass along this story in hope it will help my sister Amy. Hugs and blessings, Kathi :O)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Kathi-it's sad and distressing to see how many of my hub friends have either been bullied or knew someone that was. I am so sorry that your sister had to go through this. It makes going to work absolutely miserable. I agree with you that your sister is better off. My sister is already looking back and seeing how this hostile supervisor pushed her on to bigger and better things. I will keep Amy in my heart and prayers, that she too will find the bigger reason for moving on. Big Hub Hugs to you and Amy.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

I am sorry that Laura went through this--but she was brave and had you to support her and that is a wonderful thing--this seems like it is on the rise!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Audrey-It was tough watching my sister go through it. It's funny how karma works as Laura's new assistant (I love saying that) was bullied by the woman that Sis took over for. She is getting comments left and right from many staff, that they find my sister warm and personable and a breath of fresh air. Laura can read between the lines. The past Director was not easy to work with. I do think bullying in the workplace is rampant.


davidcollinsaus profile image

davidcollinsaus 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I would suggest that anyone that starts a new job asks their soon-to-be-employer a number of detailed questions on the work environment and staff turnover. I now ask: Why is this job now open, did someone leave? How many staff have resigned over the past year or two? Why did the last 5 people leave the company? How would your employees describe you as a manager and as a person? I was stuck in a sour work environment and it is really horrible. Bullies are bad news. Particularly in a small company - there is nowhere to hide.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

So sorry this happened to your sister. Glad to hear that she landed a job so quickly. It is wise to leave such stressful situations. AS you say, life is too short!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

I'm sorry to hear about your sister experience. Unfortunately it is all too common these days. Bullying seems to surround us no matter where we go. I am glad your sister found the inner strength to leave a bad situation.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi David-thank you for contributing your knowledge on this topic. Sorry you had to go through this too but on the positive side, it does make your interview questions more specific. My sister did ask a lot of questions like you mentioned in her several interviews, including the place where she now works. It is interesting to note that my sister is hearing lots of things about the woman she replaced. She was controlling, not very personable, and some have called her abusive and a bully. I find it so interesting that she left a company because of being bullied by her supervisor and now she replaced the same kind of woman. My sister's admin assistant is so happy to have Laura's supervising style, which includes being open to new ideas and having open dialogue and a very happy disposition. Even the women's auxillery is making comments to sis about the gal she replaced and that my sister is "a breath of fresh air." It's great that it all turned out well for her. I think God guided her to the place she needed to be.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi teaches-sis is at a coffee house right now talking to some of her past co-workers that she was close to. I bet their having a blast. We already know that four people left the company right behind Laura. Morale there is at an all time low as they saw what went down and how badly people were being treated. It's sad how one or two bad eggs in a small non-profit can create such chaos.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi KKgal-I supported Laura fully in getting the heck out of that toxic place. There is nothing more miserable than going to work everyday in misery. It was a hard time, watching her crumble and get depressed because of the way this woman was treating her.

Her job was wonderful for many years until the CEO hired this bully. The board members didn't want her hired as they saw her inexperience as well as her bad attitude. She had previously been a board member-it's also never a good idea to hire on a board member and seen as a conflict of interest.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

How awful bullying is ;wherever it may take place.

Every bully is indeed nothing more than a coward. I am glad that your sister did indeed find the strength to leave.

Thanks for sharing this one and I vote up,across and share.

Eddy.


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

I'm glad she left that environment! It's frustrating when trying to resolve things the right way doesn't work, or escalates the problem. It must also be very hard to leave a job, but in some cases it works out for the best. It is great that she got a better job, too!

Bullying is a terrible thing. Thank you for this enlightening article. It is good to always keep in mind how to attempt to resolve a situation, in case the knowledge is ever needed.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Great hub!Bullying is a horrible thing and you are right, it does happen a lot in the workplace. the fact that most women are jealous and insecure is one of the main reasons why they start picking on others. Not only is there competition and hostility, but a lot of kiss assing as well. When this happens, I think it's okay to stand up for yourself in a professional matter rather than staying quiet and if that doesn't resolve the problem, then do let your supervisor now. Working around these negative nellies makes it so much harder.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

do let your supervisor know I meant.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Eddy-thank you for reading this hub about sis and her hostile supervisor. It's bullies like this that make work unbearable. I kept reminding sis before she quit, "remember, you love your job but not your supervisor."


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Kathryn and thanks so much for reading my hub. I do think it's important to try to resolve the issue first, person to person. My sister could see that talking about how she was being treated was going nowhere and knew exactly what was going on. I give her so much credit for filing a complaint, even though it made things worse. The important thing is that she left with her head held high and her integrity. She told the agency she would not work under this person and it was a new supervisor or she had to leave. I'm so proud of her.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi lovedoctor-I so agree you. You have to stand up to it because no matter what, there has to be some resolve. When my sister tried talking to this supervisor, she just got belittled more because she knew my sister wouldn't put up with it. In the end, she had to leave the agency because she knew she could never respect a supervisor that acted so hostile and unprofessional. It was obvious to many at the agency that she envied Laura's experience and credentials. So sad how one or two bad apples can change everything at a work place.


vibesites profile image

vibesites 3 years ago from United States

Women are quite catty and spiteful particularly to other women especially at work, and jealous of those other women's achievements in work, or even just their good virtues they displayed on the job. I guess it's just insecurity. I feel sorry for what your sister has gone through, but I admire her because she knew better than to endure longer with her supervisor's crappy attitude. May I wish her a better job, I think she has now.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

vibesites-Thanks for your kind and supportive comments. My sister is an amazing woman. She isn't the catty and jelous type and is very professional at work. She is very thoughtful of her bad experience as she supervises at her new job. The agency just loves her beautiful spirit and great experience she brings.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

Minnetonka Twin,

You said, "I was surprised to learn that workplace bullying is four times more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination."

I am surprised, too! I thought that sexual harassment was highest.

The last job I had, I worked away from other employees and almost always kept a low profile with the intention of avoiding drama. Other co-workers did the same, and it was not surprising to hear, "I haven’t seen you all week! Where have you been hiding?" I often responded in a friendly manner, "I've been hiding in my cubbyhole!"

Some of the following suggestions may be used to help avoid bullying in the work place. All may not be right for everyone.

*Keep a low profile when possible and appropriate. Most people work directly with others, so this is not always possible.

*Avoid the gossip rings. Do not be the dog that carries a bone.

*Avoid individuals who often issue disrespectful remarks.

*Heed a warning and walk away from what may soon be a confrontation.

*Carry a small tape recorder in your hand or pocket that you reveal occasionally without displaying an attitude of warning or threat. Some people who work in an office record their thoughts before writing them. So, a recorder is not unusual in many work places.

*Avoid prolonged contact with troublemakers and rude or loud individuals.

*Carry self in a respectful, appropriate, well-dressed, groomed, and confident manner.

*Avoid lounges or break rooms where people gather to gossip or talk about inappropriate subjects that could lead to bullying.

*Do not idle your time. This could cause others to feel that you are dumping your workload on them if you work together.

*Be friendly and helpful. Avoid negative attitudes. Be slow to anger.

*Attempt to solve problems before they escalate.

I enjoyed your hub, and thanks for sharing!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Levertis-I absolutely loved your important points on not getting caught up in office gossip and keeping yourself safe. I really liked the one about bringing out the recorder in a non threaten way so that bullies will know that they could be on tape.

I always found in any work place that getting to close to employees can often backfire. I usually kept work and play very separate. I really appreciate the great ideas you added here. It's sad that there is a need to worry about bullies at work but it's a real problem.


Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 3 years ago from Fife, Scotland

Hi MT - your poor sister!! But she did the right thing - and I agree with you. No job or money is worth your health at all and if the company literally doesn't want to know, the best option, if you can, is to get out!

The adult bullies to me are like all bullies - basically cowards! I think because your sister was obviously so good at her job as well as being a lovely person, this supervisor obviously felt inadequate and probably jealous of her when comparing herself with your sister. So rather than using your sister's abilities to help her, this shallow, angry, cowardly person chose to bully instead! The thing is I'm a great believer in what you give out will come back to you. It may take time, but bullies like that supervisor do get their comeuppance eventually.

A very interesting hub, but very sad that you felt you had to write it in the first place! Voted up!!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

I just want you to know how supportive and comforting your comment feels for me. This was a really hard time for Laura and I. She was completely drained from the dark, toxic energy of her supervisor. It was also very sad that the CEO of the agency, who loves my sister and was the one that had her hired, let this new gal walk all over her too. She wouldn't do anything about the bullying. When Laura left the company, we heard from one of Laura's co-workers that the CEO said, "I can't believe how Laura threw _ under the bus." This says it all. She's trying to convince herself that it was my sisters fault~yet she wrote the most amazing job recommendation you have ever seen. She knows deep down, the letter was the truth about my sister. Anyhoo, all is well now. My sister is rocking at her new job~the opportunities are endless, she's making way more money and she is being treated the way she deserves to be treated. Again, thanks for the comment and letting me share how great it turned out.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 3 years ago from Taos, NM

You write about a very important and unfortunately a bad problem that exists almost anywhere one works. I have observed others being bullied and I have experienced my own share of bullying. Your advice and suggestions are good ones and no one should put up with bullying. It is so destructive, not only to the person on the receiving end, but also to the rest of the company. That this is condoned by some companies is terrible. Thank you for bringing a serious topic to our attention. I am glad your sister found a new job and is happy there now.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thank you so much suzette. I am so grateful my sister got out of there. It only takes one bad apple to ruin it for the rest. The silver lining is that my sister had 8- 1/2 great years with this agency before this bully became her supervisor. She wasn't going to waster her time and talents dealing with this toxic behavior and is at a very healthy environment now. Another silver lining is that she will never regret the great experience she gained while working there. Not even a bully can take that away from her.


Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Minnetonka,

I am happy that your sister got out of that toxic environment. I was bullied years ago. I had to take a leave of absence. I did come back to work at the same company but in a different department. I remember when she(bully) was fired. My new boss asked me how I felt. I said I wish the woman no harm but I have no sympathy for her either.

Voted up and sharing

Have a beautiful day. :)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Sue~unfortunately it looks like you know all too well what it's like to be bullied. I am so glad you took a leave of absence. Usually someone like this eventually gets fired. We know that the bully at sis's workplace wont last long. Thanks for coming by with your friendly support and sharing of your story. A bully makes life miserable! My sister is sooo happy at her new job. She's very respected, getting paid more and has more opportunities for growth.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

I hate bullies and have put up with a few of them myself. Glad your sister did get away from her because there sure is no changing them. If everyone stood together against them more could be done but it seems they scare most people into submission. This world has enough troubles without spoiled bullies, don't it?


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Well said Jackie~I am so glad my sister left the company. Life is Way too short to put up with any kind of abuse.


ziyena profile image

ziyena 3 years ago from Southern Colorado

Wow ... this happened to me recently! I got a new boss who I had to work directly underneath, much younger than me. I think she felt threatened because of my ties with everyone else. She wanted to make her footprint and used me to step upon. She ended up firing quite a few people before she did the same to me. Most likely to bring new blood into the workplace so that she could mold her "underlings" lol I'm so glad she fired me! It was the best thing that could ever happen to me ... she did me a favor and I'm much happier for it :) Great hub Minne! UP UP UP


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Sorry to hear it happened to you too but just like my sister, you are much happier and better for it. Sometimes these bullies don't realize that their bad actions actually end up being a blessing in disguise for their victims. The truth in their actions usually end up coming out in the end. They pay for it eventually. I too think my sisters new boss fired and pushed out the old blood because it was threatening to have them around. What a miserable way to live. I am so glad to hear your outta there. Thanks for reading this and for voting up and away. LOL


spartucusjones profile image

spartucusjones 3 years ago from Parts Unknown

Thanks for drawing attention to a very real situation that many have to deal with. Your sister's courage to take a stand against the bullying makes her a real inspiration. The first step to putting an end to workplace bullying (or any other forms of bullying) is to take stand against it.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks spartucus-I was really proud of my sister for having the courage to stand up to this bullying. It was really risky for her to leave this job as she's the primary breadwinner, but she knew it was the right thing for her mental and physical health. Life is way too short to put up with this behavior. Thanks so much for reading my story.


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 3 years ago from Sunny Spain

This story reminds me of Joseph when he is talking to his brothers in

Gen. 50:20 "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good ..."

I think your sister Laura could say those very words to this lady, as we can see that God has indeed turned this whole thing around, and what was meant to harm Laura God turned it into a blessing for Laura.

Now the blessing is being multiplied, as you share the story, and I am sure that it will help and encourage those who are dealing with this issue in their own lives :D

Voting up and hitting the relevant buttons on my way out :D


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota Author

Maggs-you gave me goosebumps with that verse. I agree Maggs, the best thing that could have happened to Laura was getting a new supervisor that bullied her. They love her talents at Ebenezer and I haven't seen Laura this happy in years. She is even applying for a promotion to become an Executive Director for this agency. Here's another incredible update on this story: Laura now see's the man who was hired as Vol Director after she left. (At Seminars for Volunteer Director's)-Of course they get along great! Laura shared with him that she's applying for this new executive position. Now the bully has been on Laura's linked in profile. I'm sure it got around how well my sister is doing and it's killing this woman that wanted to hurt my sister. I am so glad she's out of that place! Great to see you Maggs and thank you for your thoughtful and inspiring comment.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa

Those bullies seem to be untouchable. Trying to fight them is a waste of precious energy. Rather leave before they achieve their goal, destroying our peace and joy. But when leaving is no option, I am sure there is a legal way of forcing a company to follow the necessary disciplinary steps.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 2 years ago from Minnesota Author

The non-profit sis worked at was very small-once you get a bad egg that has an agenda, you either deal with it or leave. My sister is a spiritual person with so much love and it hurt to see her in so much pain from a bully. She knew the new supervisor would not only continue the bullying, but make it worse and worse. Her new agency is bigger, better and she is passionate about it's mission with the elderly. Thanks for coming by my friend.


Jemjoseph profile image

Jemjoseph 2 years ago

It's sad that your sister had to leave her workplace because of bullying, even after trying to work it out and later filing a complaint, but I'm glad that she ended up in a better work situation all around. Forbes published a similar finding (to the one you mentioned by Dr. Namie) a week ago about workplace bullying, it is based on a nationwide survey. Not only did they report that 1 in 3 experience this type of bullying, but 1 in 5 have left a job because of it.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 2 years ago from Minnesota Author

It is a really sad thing that bullying is so rampant in the work place. I've heard so many stories since writing this hub. I appreciate you coming by my hub and leaving such a thoughtful comment.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 18 months ago from Dallas, Texas

Back to read your story again. This is a fascinating expose on a topic that is way too neglected in the workplace. I'm glad your sister had the courage to leave that environment where she was abused. And having read about your own issues in the workplace, it seems to be a common theme that goes on daily. Sorry you had to experience this.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 18 months ago from Minnesota Author

What a compliment to hear you've come back to my hub on work bullying. I think many people assume bullying is more in the schoolyard, but work place bullying is common. Thanks for coming by Peg and hope you have a wonderful day.

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