Are Women Dumb?

Don't worry! It suits us!
Don't worry! It suits us! | Source

Oh, heavens yes! If you thought to wonder this, you must admit that part of you already knew it to be true. Women are dumb. Incredibly dumb. Miraculously dumb. Stunningly dumb.

Am I biased? No, of course not. A woman, yes. Dumb, yes. But certainly not biased.

The stupidity of women is an irrefutable truth I have always held close. After all, female stupidity is adorable! Women wear it well! Those that pretend to be anything aside from dumb are dreadfully dull.

Though some argue that women are intelligent creatures, you and I both know this is a farce. Nevertheless, to address the sadly misled sticklers that remain, let us peruse some of the irrefutable evidence of ubiquitous female stupidity.

Obviously there is neither sufficient time nor space to discuss the issue in its entirety, so we shall, for the sake of simplicity, address the Alien Argument, the Power Issue, and Chatty Cathy Complications, and know, both in our hearts and minds, that additional evidence abounds.

The Alien Argument

Let us take a little field trip to the cinematic world and watch one of the most famous scenes of modern cinema. You know the one I'm talking about. Watch it.

Now, how does this scene make you feel? Which character would YOU like to be? Would you like to be Warrant Officer Ripley, so that you might survive and kick some tush? Maybe.

What if I asked you if you would like to be Hurt (the guy on the table). Does harboring another organism in your abdominal region sound fun? And how does the prospect of having said organism exit your abdominal region as you scream and writhe in excruciating pain sound?

As you are, no doubt, a reasonable person, chances are you are not so keen on putting yourself in Hurt's shoes.

Ah, but if you are a woman, chances are you have dreamed of doing just this all your life! And the organism YOU hope/hoped to harbor does not even leave you alone after painfully vacating your body. Nope. Instead it hangs around, leeching off your personal funds, taking your time, taunting you, mocking you, and defying you for years.

Well, that's dumb.

Can't fool me, mister!
Can't fool me, mister! | Source

The Power Issue

If women are so smart, why is the world run by men? Go on. Think about it. If you can.

Women have never really been in a position of power. They're too darned dumb for it! One could argue that women have been kept in subservient roles by men for many years, and that might very well be true. But guess what smart people do when they're oppressed by tyranny. They fight back. They rebel. Women may have grumbled a bit, and some of them might see more equality now, but it took them a reeeeeeally long time. And what do women do once they actually get equality? They start high power careers, then drop them because they decide to have kids. Double dumb (see: Alien argument).

One could also argue that there have been amazing, powerful female leaders. That such women have been in powerful positions for ages. One might point to figures like Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I of England, and Margaret Thatcher. Oh, sure, they were powerful, but they totally weren't women. It was all an act. A machiavellian way of catching their enemies off guard. Trust me on this. All powerful female leaders were dudes in disguise.

And never mind that women have been running things behind the scenes since the dawn of time. This is not the information you are looking for. Move along.

Source

Chatty Cathy Complications

On the whole, women are known for being stronger consensus builders and communicators. They have a reputation for generally higher emotional intelligence and sensitivity.

What is emotional intelligence, you ask? It is the corporate world's way of making women feel better about lacking real IQ. "Sure!!" they say, "You're emotionally smart" (snicker snicker snicker).

Does this emotional intelligence amount to? A whole lot of feelings and talking. Looooots and lots of talking. While men are busy building and subsequently royally screwing entire empires, their dumb female counterparts can do no more than to busy themselves with conversation.

Never mind that understanding social dynamics and subtle changes in facial expressions, tone, and body language requires extreme skill. If women were smart enough to do something useful, they would stop talking the talk and start walking the walk. But they're just too dumb for that.

Source

Additional Details

If the previous arguments were not enough to provide sufficient preliminary evidence of female stupidity, consider these obvious weaknesses:

  • Women have to sit down to pee - howdumb is that???
  • Women like chick flicks - Anyone who has been subjected to one is only too aware that they were designed for drooling morons.
  • Women insist on wearing ridiculous high-heeled shoes (never mind that men were the first to wear them).
  • Women wear makeup - They're so dumb, they don't even realize their faces are already visible!
  • Women are obsessed with weight loss - Only an extremely dumb person will say no to delicious food despite access and desire.
  • Women care about fashion - If they were smart, they'd care about explosives. Or space travel. But mostly explosives.
  • Women often pretend to be dumber than they are - Yep. They're so dumb, they don't even realize that they're already acting stupid enough.

Siiigh.... I could go on and on. Remember, I am an insider expert.

Only Scratching the Surface

These are only some of the thousands of reasons why women are dumb. Volumes of books cannot sufficiently chronicle their stupidity. Libraries cannot contain the abundant evidence. Even the internet as we know it would snap like a twig under the weight of the sheer mass of evidence proving the ignorance of women. Maybe, just maybe, a matrioshka brain could handle it. But that remains to be tested.

The simple answer to your query is: YES. Women are dumb. But not nearly as dumb as men.

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Comments 44 comments

Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Subtlety, subtlety and delightfully more subtle humor and girlishly charming misdirection. I was led oh so carefully like a lamb to the slaughter house of your last line. So it's dumb and dumber is it?

Ok as a male I apologize for any "dumb" remarks I may have made directed at you more cuddly types and I freely admit that it takes more thought to have us more "explosives" types do everything you want us to and leaving us feeling privileged for having done so.

It's almost certain that when you have the two sexes doing anything that both will think to themselves "Why did he/she do it that way--that is so dumb!" Only a trip into the other's mind would give a clue as to the superior way of thinking each is accustomed to. With that in mind, it would be very difficult to find anyone as able and as innovative and clever as a woman and almost impossible to come up with one even more so. In fact I can think of only one......=:)


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Winsome you flatter me with your eloquent comment! Surely you will see the reasoning behind my final sentence- I could never let women outdo men... in anything! Such imprudence would be... rather stupid of me. Though that would be par for the course...


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I consider myself pretty savvy. After all I only had one of those critters grow inside me and painfully bust out! But then on the other hand, I am raising its offspring. Hmmmmm, gotta go think on that! Mayhap, I have been tricked.

Simone, thanks for this great, fun read. It was a lovely way to kick off my morning.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Especially the 'kicker.' Thanks for the journey. :)


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 5 years ago from Tampa Bay

Another kicker, Simone. Love it. The Miss Teen video says it all rather poetically- some women truly are beautifully dumb. And come on, who would ever mess around with a Joan of Arc? Rock on, ladies!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

I have often asked my children when they come to me for advice if they want emotional or logical. If they say logic...I send them to their dad. Awesome read!


FranYo profile image

FranYo 5 years ago from Springfield, Missouri

Sublime, Simone (I'd leave it at that but HP won't let me comment w/ so few words, so...I'll say it again).

Sublime!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Oh no Hyphenbird! Methinks you've been TRICKED!

Glad you like the kicker drbj and rebekahELLE :D Miss Teen USA definitely is beautifully dumb. She wears the female legacy well.

And I LOVE that policy, tipoague! I think I shall adopt it. I'll say, "Oh. You should ask tipoague's husband."

And thank you, FranYo. Thank you.


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

Hahaha...You're absolutely right! Between those darned aliens and high heels, there's the proof that we're dumb! And what about underwire bras? I love this hub!


laneanders profile image

laneanders 5 years ago from Tennessee

Great hub, read it with my fiancée. She agreed wholeheartedly that she was dumb. She also agreed that I am much dumber than she.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago

Ahh , I'm not going near this one with a ten foot pole. See ....I'm seeing a picture in my mind of a woman in high heels and all dressed up , waiting for hubby to clean out his pick- up to take her to Mac dies for dinner!......


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Not fair. Staff should do staff things. Like rosters and office supplies, management and meetings. Not writing. I mean how's a poor writer guy supposed to compete with this?


howcurecancer profile image

howcurecancer 5 years ago

5 stars.


Mrs. Menagerie profile image

Mrs. Menagerie 5 years ago from The Zoo

Y'know, you use a lot of awfully big words for a dumb woman. Hahaha...I love this amusing hub!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 5 years ago from Sweden

A fantastic hub, and there must be something really wrong with us since women have let men rule the world for so long! And when we now start to get some power, what do we do? We try and do it the same way as men have done it before! Lets hope it will not take so long time before we realise that there are better ways...

Thanks, I so enjoyed this hub! It is a winner:)

Tina


Miss Info profile image

Miss Info 5 years ago from New York City

Ouch.... Nicely Put!


LaurenLL profile image

LaurenLL 5 years ago

Vote up guys, this is nice hub.


PaulGoodman67 profile image

PaulGoodman67 5 years ago from Florida USA

Voted up! :-)


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 5 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

I listen to older men talk about such things in an effort to glean some wisdom. Once an older man told me that even while a woman is asleep, she's making plans for you (her male mate), and this frightens me because when I'm asleep it's all ponies and balloons.


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Oh my gosh, Stephanie Henkel! You're so right! Underwire bras!! I completely forgot about that one.

And it sounds like you've got a blissfully functional relationship, laneanders! Congrats!

Ten foot pole or not, ahorseback, I think that's a lovely picture you've painted.

And goodness knows, Mark Ewbie, that I only aspire to your awesomeness.

Thank you, ever so, howcurecancer! And I like dem big words even though I dunno what theys means, Mrs. Menagerie ;)

Oh goodness thougtforce- I really do hope women figure out that the male leadership model... leaves something to be desired...

And thanks Miss Info, Lauren LL, and PaulGoodman67!

As for that older man's theory, Wesman Todd Shaw - it must be total bunk. When women sleep, what they're REALLY dreaming about is world domination. Though plans for their mates might be part of that... OK, so maybe he was right.


secularist10 profile image

secularist10 5 years ago from New York City

Very entertaining, and very true. When I was younger I always knew intellectually that males and females were equally intelligent, but still couldn't shake a visceral sense that girls were dumb.

Eventually it dawned on me that it wasn't that girls were dumb--people were dumb. Both girls and guys. I had only been paying attention to the girls because, well, I'm a guy. But compared to me, most people I saw were (and are) pretty damn dumb.

I think I read somewhere that women and men have the same average IQ, but whereas women tend to be concentrated around the average score, men are more spread out. This is why men tend to be over-represented among those with extremely high or extremely low intelligence, whereas women have more consistency in the middle.

I do hope, Simone, that you will soon expound on the various ways men are dumber than women. That last line leaves me wanting more :)


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

That note on IQ is most interesting, secularist10. It makes perfect sense, now that I think about it. And you're so right- it's not that one gender is particularly dumber than the others... it's just that humans are inherently stupid!

I do rather like the idea of delving into the topic of male stupidity, though. Must get cracking on that!


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA

ROFLOL. What a great article! As a man, and wanting to keep my hide in one piece, I won't comment on a lot here, but I did enjoy reading it and will say, it was logically presented! I do have to say the part about wearing high heel shoes is not wise, especially if you have to run from a mugger! And as a man, I know never to get a woman mad when she has a large purse with metal doodads all over it...I am not into pain!

I do have one question about Miss Teen USA 2007. What the heck was she talking about with her answer? It had nothing to do with the question! I have no clue what she was talking about!!! LOL


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Brilliant, Knightheart! I had never thought of the potential violence offered by gaudy purses... I totally didn't get them until now.

And Miss Teen USA 2007 was talking about Important Issues. Very Important Contemporary Global Issues. Serious stuff.


DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

South Carolina gets it again! My kids have watched this over and over again and died laughing every time. The weird thing about this is one of them knows this girl and she's no dumbdumb. A possible brainfart? The only explanation!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Yeah, such is the plight of anyone who has been made into an internet meme. If she made it that far in the competition, it's obvious she has some major smarts! Of course, what she'll be REMEMBERED for is this. Funny how that works out @_@


katrinasui profile image

katrinasui 5 years ago

Nice hub buddy. well done:)


Taressa Klays profile image

Taressa Klays 5 years ago from Hinton, Alberta

I must say you had me at first! That fight back instinct to my personal battle of intelligence, constantly being challenged by the opposite sex--until your last line! Huge smiles! Yeah, I've played the dumb role for many years in order to be cute, and feed the ego of the Male gender, only to be cast out once the itelligence shone through. Oooop's ..., did I say that? Tee hee, Silly me :) Great Hub Simone!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Hehee- isn't it funny how that can sometimes work! Thanks for reading, Taressa Klays :D


Randy Godwin profile image

Randy Godwin 5 years ago from Southern Georgia

Re your closing line of the hub-Who listened to the serpent and ate the apple first? LOL!

Let this be a lesson to you ladies. Never believe anything a snake says!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Dude. I bet that apple was DELICIOUS. One would be dumb to AVOID such an opportunity! ;)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Simone - I loved this - I read the other hub first (Are Men Dumb?) I have to say I was feeling a little disappointed - but I read this link and realized you really are not dum! Haha!

Too funny Simone - a girl after my own heart. Smart - smart - smart!


A guy 5 years ago

A perfect Hub, Simone!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Boys Rule, Girls Drool!


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

I'm honored to have your compliments, RealHousewife! Glad you enjoyed the Hubs!

And right on, A guy. Right on.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

another great hub, , ,bookmarked this one two too to 2 , , ,after reading Are Men Dumb? I thought the question had been answered. This hub's conclusion says it definitively, I had to read two hubs to get the message - men are dumb. remember to have fun, fun, fun and smile , , ,(psychological challenge - Are Men Dumb? Seeking of self esteem - Are Women Dumb? Realization - the end of an old joke, "It's a trick there are two.")


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Hahaa, thanks tsmog!


Janie 5 years ago

I'm a woman and I actually believe women are dumber than men. No joke. Men do a lot of stupid things but they are also the geniuses, the inventors, the physicists, the mathematicians, the engineers, the architects... they have much more creativity and ambition than women and every time I watch Jeopardy, a man wins lol. IQ tests have repeatedly shown men to be intellectually superior to women. It's sad and unfair but it's true.


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

I can only agree with you where I'm concerned... As for all of womankind... well, I think it's a tossup! Dumbness is gender blind.


Jenna 5 years ago

Oh so much to say, so little time. Point a. I am a woman, with an IQ of 193. This has in no way spared me of my own stupidity. The perfect example of why women are dumb, more often than not we end up married to a man. (Go figure)


Jenna. 5 years ago

Point B.. I forgot what point A was really about, and did it again.


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Hahahaaaa!!!


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 5 years ago from USA or America

Too funny. Nicely written. I will disagree that women are dumb. But, everyone has their own perspective on it. LOL! Thumbs up! :)


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

True 'dat! Thanks for reading!


KDee411 profile image

KDee411 4 years ago from Bay Area, California

Now I feel better, I thought it was just me, I just changed my name for the new year. I didn't like my zip for my name, so now it's really me. Dumb or what. Thanks for following, I'll have a hub this week. Love all yours. Kay

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