Collection of the Funniest Requests Made on HubPages IV

I'm Back At It

It has been quite a while since I have written one of these. They were a lot of fun to write, and for some of you, a lot of fun to read. I thought it was about time that I took another crack at it and wrote another Hub on some of the funny, and sometimes, seemingly stupid, requests that have come through here. Some of these just struck me as funny, while others just made no sense at all. I had a lot of fun going through the pages, and pages, of requests to find some really good ones. I hope that they are as much fun for you to read, as they were for me to write.

Like always, I have included my own witty, and completely sarcastic responses to these various requests. I think it makes them all the more fun. After all, even these requests deserve to be answered. Even if they are only answered on here. I hope no one is offended. That has never been my intention with any of this. This is all in fun, and I know if I had posted any of these, and someone responded in the way I am, I would laugh at myself.

????????????????????
????????????????????
Aggro!
Aggro!
Maybe Dora can help you sing in Spanish
Maybe Dora can help you sing in Spanish
yeah, what the heck is that?
yeah, what the heck is that?
Ha ha...love George Foreman
Ha ha...love George Foreman

This is Long Overdue

Help with this question please:

Well, that really isn't a question, now is it?. I appreciate your plea for help. I really do. What is the question? I would love to help you, but since you offer no indication as to what help you need, there is very little I can do. I would say 'I hope this helps', but I can't imagine how it really would.

What is the best time to perform aggro horticulture?:

What exactly is aggro horticulture? It sounds like someone is just getting really angry at plants. Why are you so angry with plants? What did they ever do to you? They provide you with life-giving oxygen, food, shelter, and many, many other things. So, why are you so interested in being angry at plants? I don't think there really is a good time for aggro horticulture. You should be ashamed of yourself...

Are you an earthworm worker?:

Ummm...what? I am a little confused here. Are you asking if I work with earthworms? Or, are you asking if I am an earthworm with a job? I have only ever used earthworms for one thing; fishing. I don't know if that makes me an earthworm worker or not. I am not an earthworm, though. That, I am sure of. That would make this whole typing thing really difficult. I am not really even a fan of earthworms. They are kind of icky. I can't think of a better word than that. So, to answer your question...I guess either way, the answer is no.

Would you like to know how a Vietnamese guy can sing in Spanish?:

Well, I imagine it is like anyone singing in another language. Am I wrong? Is there something else to it? I really don't get it. I have sang in Spanish, German, Latin and a few other languages. I don't speak those languages. Yet, I can sing in those languages. It doesn't seem like it would make sense. I also don't understand where you were going with this request. Why not just write a hub about it? I am glad you can sing in Spanish. Yay for you??? I don't know what you want, here...

I have a lot of pokémon legendarys ho many do do you have?:

I have none, though I don't really know what you are talking about. Maybe you should spend less time collecting pokémon cards and spend more time learning how to spell. How old are you, anyway? Weren't pokémon cards a huge fad in the nineties with little kids? I didn't know anyone still collected those things. So, either you are a little kid who is just a little behind on the times, or got handed these things by an older brother, or something, or you are a grown adult. If you are a kid, sorry. If you are an adult, well, that is just sad, not only that you collect pokémon cards, but also that you obviously don't know how to spell, and if that is the case, I revert to my original statement...

What is a lean machine?:

I have no idea. I have heard the phrase used a lot. Mostly in reference to fighters, IE. "He's a lean, mean, fighting machine." Is that what you were after? Is that what you wanted to know? Maybe it's just a skinny machine, like a really small toaster, or a little, skinny blender. I don't really know. Oh, I know!!! It's the George Foreman Grill!!! HA!!! There you go, that is your answer!!! Got to love George Foreman! That guy is great! Shameless self-promotion at it's best. He even named all his kids after himself. That is just too much.

"Do what your mother tells you!"
"Do what your mother tells you!"

Creep by Radiohead

I think I found the "oder" problem!!!
I think I found the "oder" problem!!!
At least ask a question...
At least ask a question...
That answer your question?
That answer your question?

Do you wait until you are told before celebrating the relationship with your mother.:

Well, I can't really answer this question. I don't exactly know what you are talking about here. Why would you need to wait to be told? Do you mean wait to be told about the relationship, or do you mean wait until you are told to celebrate? Are you celebrating your relationship with your mother, or celebrating with your mother about another relationship? Why do you have to wait to be told before you can celebrate? No, you may not celebrate! You must wait until I tell you that you can!!

I'm assuming you will never respond to this, but do you not like Radiohead or something?:

Well, I am responding to this!! So, there!! HA! And in regards to Radiohead, I do like them. I like them very much. Creep is one of my favorite songs. My only question is, why do you care if I like Radiohead or not? You seem awfully upset about the thought of someone not liking Radiohead. I agree, they are great, but are they really worth getting all upset about? It's not like they are The Beatles, or something. Great, now I want to listen to Radiohead...time to break out my old cassette player. LOL!

Light oder coming from my campers ac:

Can you describe the 'oder', as you put it? Is it a bad smell, or just a light fragrance? Did you check outside the camper to see if the 'oder' was being pulled in from somewhere outside? How many campers do you have?? Is it just one? Or do you have many with the same problem? My guess, the 'oder' is called fresh air. Most people are not familiar with this scent due to the fact that we spend most of our time in tiny, little cubicles, in stores, offices, airports, and various other air-controlled buildings. Fresh air can be a strange, and confusing 'oder' the first time you smell it. I promise, though, it won't hurt you.

Delete my account:

Ummm...while I completely understand this request. That doesn't happen often. I still can't help you. I cannot delete your account for you. Of course, if you give me your email address, all your passwords, your bank account information, and your mother's maiden name, I will be sure to delete your account for you. I'll get to it right after I change all your passwords, get a few credit cards in your name, and clean out you bank account. Delete your own account.

Not quite a question.:

No, it is not even remotely a question. 'Not quite a question' would imply that it is somewhat like a question. Like those statements made when you are not sure of yourself, or the response you are giving, and it comes out sounding like a question. No, this is nothing like a question. In fact, it is a statement. A statement is not a question. Did you have a question? See, that was a question. Notice the wording and the appropriate punctuation at the end. To be honest, what you wrote isn't even a complete sentence, let alone a question. As with 'Jeopardy!' please be sure to formulate your response in the form of a question.

Who is the best?:

So interesting of you to ask...if only I knew. At least this is actually a question. Not a very clear question, but still a proper question. I don't know. I really don't. I could be incredibly narcissistic and say that I am the best, but that wouldn't be true...I don't think. Best at what? Writing? Fencing? Sticking quarters in their bellybutton? And, yes, I saw someone do that...Tosh.0 is a terribly funny show. There we go...you asked who is the best? I am going to go with Daniel Tosh. I hope that answers your question.

The word join by u l d n v h s e:

What word is that? Is this some sort of strange code that I just don't understand? Or is there a word that contains all these letters? I don't really know what you want to know. Again, make sure to phrase it in the form of a question. Though, in this case, I don't think that would really help me at all. I keep looking at the letters, trying to put them in some sort of order that makes sense. Is this like Boggle? See how many words you can make from the letters? Let's see...hen, hens, send, led, lend, lends...so far so good. Let me know if I was even close on this one.

What is the romantic definition of your rose turning crispy after a while receiving it?:

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but there is no romantic definition for that. The rose is dead, and it is starting to decay. I know that may not be very romantic, but it is the truth. You cut a rose from it's bush, and it is dead. It is getting no nutrients, and it slowly starts to decay. They dry out. If you want, I can attempt to put a romantic spin on it, but it will be ultimately depressing, so I would rather not. If you want to try to find your own romantic meaning behind a flower dying, go right ahead.

© 2011 Anna Marie Bowman

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Comments 29 comments

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Anna Marie Bowman 3 years ago from Florida Author

cperuzzi-- Wow!! Your comments are awesome!!! I don't honestly understand how some people managed to make it through school. I admit, I am a terrible speller, but thank goodness for spell check. I have always hated Pokémon. I just don't get it. Thanks for your comments!!!


cperuzzi profile image

cperuzzi 3 years ago from Freehold, NJ

First off, that was just painful. Really. Friends don't let friends type without a sense of literacy, logic, or intelligence. People need to use a dictionary (it's that thing that came before spell check).

While I'm all for being supportive of new writers and answering any comment that comes through my articles, there's just a whole lotta stupid out there.

I'm also not one to point fingers at other people's hobbies. After all, I'm a comic book nut at age 47. But Pokémon? Really?!! Okay, granted... the anime nonsense of Dragonball Z, Speed Racer, and almost every other insanity that comes from Japan is strangely addicting, but Pokémon just makes my brain ache. Seriously, even as I think about it, I feel my eyeballs fill up with blood like a late stage Ebola patient. Just put down your cards and walk away from the deck.

Also... "Can you help me with a question?" No. Can I help you with a sandwich. Yes. Most people can form an interrogative statement - especially when they need to know the answer to something. Start with the "W's" and "H's" (who, what, where, when, why, and how) then move to an idea and end it with a question mark (?). There, that should work.

I can't even imagine a poor person reading through some of this garbage. It must be maddening. I think after the tenth idiot question, I'm be at my wrist with a spoon (it's dull - it'll hurt more), screaming, "GOD!!! SAVE ME FROM THESE INSANE DULLARDS!!!!"

I need to have a lie down now. Great article.


spartucusjones profile image

spartucusjones 3 years ago from Parts Unknown

Will do!!!


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Anna Marie Bowman 3 years ago from Florida Author

spartucusjones-- I am so glad you liked it. You should check out the others that I have written.


spartucusjones profile image

spartucusjones 3 years ago from Parts Unknown

Brilliantly funny hub, I am still laughing and will continue to do so until some time next week! Thanks for sharing!


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Anna Marie Bowman 4 years ago from Florida Author

Mr Archer-- Thank you so very much!! I am terrible at spelling, but since spell check has been invented, there is no reason for such terrible spelling. LOL! Thanks for reading. I mostly write these for my own amusement.


Mr Archer profile image

Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

Brilliant! Sarcastic! Dead on! Really great reflection on our society's inability to properly speak and write effectively. Thanks for brightening my day.


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Anna Marie Bowman 4 years ago from Florida Author

leni-- I am glad that you had a great laugh. That is why I wrote these.


leni sands profile image

leni sands 4 years ago from UK

Just when I needed a laugh I found this hub, brilliant laugh, laughed myself silly, almost split my sides - really pleased I didn't see any of my questions there (lol)


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

Sally-- Glad you found this one, then, and I hope you enjoy the others just as much!! Sometimes I just have to share with the world the silliness that runs around in my head all day. It keeps me sane.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

Ah, a breath of fresh air! Laughed myself silly through these. I love that you took the time to put into words the flash thoughts that came to mind upon reading these "requests" (I think they are "questions" now...whatever). When I see some of these, an internal conversation taking only a nanosecond speeds through my head, and I enjoy myself enormously, but it never occurred to me to slow down and describe the thoughts to anyone else. I've never read any of your previous Hubs on this topic, but I am going to now. I need some good laughs today! Oh, and the Amazon Boggle listings are brilliant! Up and funny.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

netracer-- I often wonder what others think when they look at some of the questions that come up on HP, and so I decided to write responses to the funniest of them.


netracer87 5 years ago

Very very funny. And I truly admire those who spent time writing the responses. :) Interestingly, Pokémon is all the rage these days among kids.


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Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

Memphis-- I am sure some of it is. Still a lot of fun!


MemphisYankee profile image

MemphisYankee 5 years ago from Tennessee

These are funny! I have to wonder how many are non-native English speakers, though. Lost in translation, perhaps?


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Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

Lesley-- I am glad it made you laugh, and or, smile!! :)


Lesleysherwood 5 years ago

I am bookmarking this hub so I can go back to it. It really made me smile. Or should I say laugh Vote UP


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Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

Dawn-- That story is great!!! So funny!!! Thank you for making me smile!!


Dawn Conklin profile image

Dawn Conklin 5 years ago from New Jersey, USA

This is great Anna! It really is amazing the questions people ask-well when it IS a question. I got used to some off the wall questions. I like your responses for these. You gave me a good chuckle!

If I could, I would like to share just one amusing one with you. It wasn't from here tho. I used to drive a bus for county transportation (no school kids, mainly adults) and I was sitting in the bus on break one day. Take note I said I was sitting in the bus, oh and in uniform too. Somebody walks up to me and asks "Are the buses running today or are they closed for the holiday?" I tried to refrain but couldn't. My response was "no the buses are not running, I broke into the county building and stole the bus to go joy riding. Don't tell the county tho." He had a confused look on his face and said "oh, ok I won't." True story.


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Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

marellen-- I can hardly believe it myself, sometimes. It's part of what makes it all so fun.


marellen 5 years ago

To funny and I can't believe people would actually ask these.


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Anna Marie Bowman 5 years ago from Florida Author

prairieprincess-- Glad I could make you laugh!! Share away!! Thank you!!

Thoughtsandwiches-- I have no idea if snert is a word. LOL!! Thank you for reading, and welcome to HubPages!!

SubRon-- People do, in fact, post these as requests...I would never make that up! Truth is often so much more fun than fiction.

Ddraigcoch-- webanswers? Is that like chacha, or kgb? Anyway, glad I could brighten your day!

Cloverleaf-- Glad you liked them. I love doing these, because they always make me giggle.

ubanichijioke-- Thank you very much!!

tsmog-- Well, hugs and smiles back at you!! Enjoy your pizza, and your further reading!!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

(Great BIG smile on face) while laughing. Go for it. Tell me why I am putting hugs around it. Never mind. Great article. I am going to search out he (whoops 'the') previous articles in this series after I have pizza. Why you ask? I'm hungry. Then


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

Lots of laugh. Funny, weird and sometimes provoking. Ha ha ha, you did well replying. Great piece


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Hi Anna Marie,

This was just great! I needed a good chuckle this afternoon. I think the Vietnamese guy singing in Spanish was my favorite :-) Awesome hub,

Cloverleaf.


Ddraigcoch profile image

Ddraigcoch 5 years ago from UK

I answer questions on webanswers and man these are plain in comparison. They drive me crazy at the time, but give me plenty of laughs later. Like now!

Thank you kindly for the uplifting hub that made me smile. Can't wait for the next.


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 5 years ago from eastern North Dakota

You are too funny, Anna Marie Bowman, I love your wit! Oh, come on now, nobody on HubPages asks questions like these. I'd like to mention about singing in another language, and I know you know this, but it's still funny to me, like when a Brit sings it's completely good English, but when the song is over and he starts talking, then we know he's a Brit!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Hi Anna...as a relative newcomer to the pages of hub, I am glad you chose to reprise this art form so I could take a peak. Very funny and very true. So...is it true that snert is not a word?


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 5 years ago from Canada

Oh my goodness!!!! I just laughed myself silly at these. I can't believe people actually wrote these. I am sharing this with my feed. Thanks!!

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