Some Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers

There's a section of HubPages (this website) where people can ask questions that writers can answer. Not all of them are thoughtful or intelligent.

I've put together a list of questions asked on HubPages that, for some reason or another, have made me laugh out loud. Perhaps they will do the same for you. And, for the benefit of those who have made these requests, I'll answer them, too.

All askers' names have been removed to protect the...uh...innocent.

(image source: disabilitiesunlimited.org)
(image source: disabilitiesunlimited.org)

Why don’t birds die mid-flight and fall out of the sky? Or do they but I just don’t know?

They do. You just don't know.

How do you convince your kid if you've beaten him/her? Is it always easy?

The bruises might convince him. But why would you want to convince him of that?

(I'm not a terrible person. How else would you take this question?)

If I dropped an ipod in a glass of juice and it was on would it still work?

Probably not. If it does work, it will only play The Orange Juice Song from now on.

WOULD COULD I GET A GOOD RECORD DEAL FROM.

Would that we all could get good record deals. Good luck, my friend.

How Do You Get Into A Relationship With A Girl Who Doesn't Know You?

Stalk her obsessively, like you probably already have been doing. Girls like it when you know everything about them before you've ever spoken to them.

Thanks for being my 1st 'fan' ! :-)) Pl start yr 1st hub.Looking forward to it. Best wishes.

You're welcome! I've already got several hubs, but thanks for asking. Best wishes to you, as well.

I want a tattoo deign consisting of both the Welsh and English flags or something along those lines. Any ideas???

I don't know what a tattoo deign is, but if you want the Welsh and English flags, just tattoo one across your entire chest, and one across your entire back. You've got one coming and going.

is the sixth sense well developed in the fairer sex?

First, I admire your use of alliteration and consonance in your request. Second, I think "the fairer sex" is an outdated and sexist term. Third, I have no idea if the sixth sense exists at all, let alone developed in "the fairer sex."

herpes cure

Sorry, there isn't one.

All people want happiness and do not want to suffer. Each person needs to have a happy criteria. What criteria happy for you? You will be happy if .....

Hmm, interesting and unintelligible question. I've never really thought about my happy criteria. I guess I will be happy if people don't beat me up for publishing this hub. 

What's your best lemon recipe for lemonheads like at our house?

The lemonheads at your house are probably good enough. I'm sure you don't need my help. If it ain't broke... 

I won the eBay bid for the domain berniemadoffvoodoo.com (the auction was for charity), now can some one tell me what to do with this usual domain?

You should start your own TV show about a dude named Bernie who gets high off of voodoo and has trippy hallucinations about HubPages. Title it "Bernie: Mad Off Voodoo." Then make your website about that. 

Other than toilet paper, when you buy a product, why don't you completely use it? ie. Use 5% of the features on a cell phone, read a book cover to cover, forget conference material 7 days later?

Looks like you answered your own question, buddy. Go teach a "Reduce, Recycle, Reuse" seminar to let off some steam. 

There are no stupid questions or stupid answers. (image source: barryhasablog.blogspot.com)
There are no stupid questions or stupid answers. (image source: barryhasablog.blogspot.com)

My male cat howls like Brian Setzer every night and keeps me awake! What do I do?

Start building your defense against Brian Setzer's lawyer for when he sues you for defamation of character.

mel waiters Got my whiskey

Go make him give it back.

What makes teenagers think that they know it all? Why do they have to be so mean and disrespectful?

They learn how to whine and generalize from their elders.

i am single pretty and if u are looking for a girl like that i am it

You must be, if you're using HubPages as a way to meet guys.

i just want no how to impress girls, how to interact with girls and give me suggetion i am very much interested in this issue please help me

You should get together with the girl who asked the question above.

Could you please create a hub on Adrenal depletion/support? I love your hubs! Great work.

I don't know anything about Adrenal depletion, but thanks for the compliment.

IS THERE A FINANCIAL SUCCESS SECRET FOR DUMMIES?

Yes. Learn the rules of capitalization.

Can I BreastFeed My Husband?

Only if your baby isn't the jealous type.

What to do if your tooth falls out

Put it under your pillow and see if the Tooth Fairy gives you any money for it.

WHAT DRIVES YOU?

A 2000 Chevy Prism.

what to do when no one listens to you:

I'm sorry, did you say something?

Should I cut the red or the blue wire? Please answer accurately, as I could be in serious trouble if you provide the wrong answer.

The red. No, the blue. No wait, the red. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the red.

What are the disadvantages of Farting in Public?

My guess, if you're making this request, is that you already have experienced the disadvantages of farting in public.

I could've avoided a lot of trouble if...

I had never published this Hub.


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Comments 38 comments

rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe 7 years ago from Standing right behind you!

very well done! Nice job:)


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks! I used your hubs as inspiration for this one, rockinjoe!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

ProfoundPuns, Although some of the name-protected requesters might feel otherwise, I give you thumbs up for going above and beyond in your thorough and thoughtful responses. Have you considered a career as an advice columnist? :-). MM


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I love this - very tongue in cheek funny! Two thumbs up, way way up! And I must say a stupid question begets a joke LOL :D


jim10 profile image

jim10 7 years ago from ma

Great Hub. You know, I'm starting to question the idea that there are no stupid questions.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Very funny, I loved this. An instant fan, thumbs up :)


Purple Perl profile image

Purple Perl 7 years ago from Bangalore,India

Absolutely hilarious! Excellent work,Profoundpuns,even though you answered your own request.The responses you gave are truly delightful!


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

fantastic collection!


EYEAM4ANARCHY profile image

EYEAM4ANARCHY 7 years ago from Las Vegas, NV.

It always amazes me when I read some of the junk in the request section.

Good collection!


Matrixkavi profile image

Matrixkavi 7 years ago from India

fantastic job, man!


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

What rich material - great job with the answers too Profound!


SiddSingh profile image

SiddSingh 7 years ago

Absolutely hilarious!

Especially the one about lemonheads!


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

hahhahahahah


Bruce Elkin profile image

Bruce Elkin 7 years ago from Victoria, BC Canada

Great job! I commend you for wading through all the drivel to get these nuggets. Cheers!


Camping Dan profile image

Camping Dan 7 years ago

It seems there are lots of requests for meeting singles. Maybe that should be added to the forum. A singles bar type place so they can start meeting each other and talking about what else ... hubs.


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks, everyone! I had a ton of fun finding these requests, and then answering them! I'm glad you all enjoyed reading this hub.


gamergirl profile image

gamergirl 7 years ago from Antioch, TN

Hilarious!!


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

This is so funny!!! I have often thought about some of the stranger requests I have seen, and how I would answer them. Thank you for making me smile! Excellent job!


Junkster profile image

Junkster 7 years ago from Liverpool, UK

HaHa, great stuff, I'd seen that blue wire/red wire one before...I assumed it was too late to respond :D


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

I too get a laugh from reading some of the requests, never thought about answering them though. Great job and funny too.


Kellys Writing 7 years ago

This was a really funny hub. Great job. Loved your answers.

Best Wishes


Cybermouse profile image

Cybermouse 7 years ago from Bentonville, AR

Great hub!


alexd181 profile image

alexd181 7 years ago

LOL Your responses are great!!


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

I just had to stop laughing by the time I reached the herpes cure, I was laughing so hard! And the blue and red wire, oh boy, what a roll! Fabulous, and thanks for the laughs!


LisaStar profile image

LisaStar 7 years ago from New England

Great hub! Loved it :)


Specificity profile image

Specificity 7 years ago from EAU CLAIRE, WI

Farting in public? Ha! Great read.


Rainbow Brite 7 years ago

roflmao wow, I'm really glad you wrote this. I spend much of my time in the "Requests" section (because well, I'm not smart enough to come up with my own topics to write about), and I thought I was the only one that noticed the funny and stupid things people request! So glad to know I'm not alone...and by the way, it's the blue wire!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

There is nothing like sitting alone in your living room laughing out loud! My kids want to know what I'm doing. Thanks


Karen Banes profile image

Karen Banes 7 years ago from Canada

Love this hub. There are indeed stupid questions, thank God! Without them there would be no hilariously funny answers!


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

this is brilliant.I can't type for laughing, thank you thank you

but you need to add the one about what to do when your brain go hang out.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 7 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

These are hysterical! Don't know where I've been for so long not to have found these and Anna Marie's. Your answers are the gems we all wish we could come up with when put on the spot. And your final request-answer pair is just perfect...I hope only good trouble came your way. Thumbs up.


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

I love your smartass response to these dumb request! Keep up the good work!


SEM Pro profile image

SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

Love it! The lighter side of Hubbing... Thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning :)


mejane profile image

mejane 7 years ago from Jacksonville Beach

I haven't laughed out loud at anyone's writing in a long time--well, not since I read Marley & Me, but you're a close 2nd. Thanks!


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

LOL! Great stuff - makes me laugh (or it could be sleep deprivation) either way I loved it :D


creativeMind @ hubpages 7 years ago

LOL .. cool post.

really a good hub..


EasySales profile image

EasySales 6 years ago

Thanks-lightened my day! I like the girl looking for guy/guy looking for a girl pair.

PS I love the profile pic - I also have cats.


Nayothara profile image

Nayothara 5 years ago

This is really good! I enjoy reading this!

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