MacHub: A Tale of Treachery, Ambition, Murder, and HubNuggets

A Tragically Romantic Adventure-Comedy in Four Acts

Prologue

The HubNuggets team managed to escape awakening the Mirror-Cracked for Canada Day and the Fourth of July celebrations, but a stray fireworks awakened it, and now the team has been catapulted through the Mirror-Cracked and burped out into a crazy, mixed-up Shakespearean reality...

The Scene: A blasted heath at night. Circling the smoking brazier, several figures in tattered cloaks are barely visible in the fitful, flickering light of the glowing embers. The shadowy figures cackle and caper as they weave their dark spell, casting vile bits of stinking offal into the filth-crusted pot that bubbles on the brazier.

First Witch: When shall we five meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain? (The witch team-leader throws the eye of a newt into the pot.)

Second Witch: Prithee, not in rain - it maketh my antlers all moldy. (He dangles a bat's wing over the malodorous liquid before dropping it in.)

Third Witch: Nay, then - when the hurly-burly's done! When the battle's lost and won... (Hisses, and retrieves her tail from the hands of Fourth Witch, saying,) That's "wing of gnat," not "tail of CAT"!

Fourth Witch (humming like a good-humored Bee as she casts the wings of several gnats into the pot): Your pardon, I prithee, friend cat. My lashes be smattered with the brazier's soot.

Fifth Witch (sternly, recalling the other witches to their business): Double, double, HubNugget trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

First Witch: What treachery speak you, friend PI? Lord Jason of Menayan hath the marketing of that treasure.

Fifth Witch: Not so! 'Tis said the fair Lady Simone doth walk the battlements at night, wailing for the lost treasure. But soft, who comes?

First Witch (turning to face the three cloaked riders who have come upon them): Good sirs, cast off thy cloaks that we may see thy faces and make prophesy for thee.

Fifth Witch (recognizing one of the men, calls out): "Hail, MacHub - Cawdor, that was! Hail, MacHub - Thane of HubNuggets that shall be!

The witches swirl about MacHub and his men, bowing and cackling incantations, then vanish along with the cauldron, leaving the men to make what sense they can of the prophesy.

MacHub: Double-double? I'll take mine "to go", eh.

Image by RedElf - photo from noirlecroi.com
Image by RedElf - photo from noirlecroi.com
The ghost of Ladie Simone walks the battlements - Image by RedElf - photo from dwighttheconnoisseur.blogspot.com
The ghost of Ladie Simone walks the battlements - Image by RedElf - photo from dwighttheconnoisseur.blogspot.com
Hamlet Anderson, Rosenpantz and GuildenBee with Lord Jason - Image by RedElf - photo from farm3.static.flickr.com
Hamlet Anderson, Rosenpantz and GuildenBee with Lord Jason - Image by RedElf - photo from farm3.static.flickr.com

Act 1: Hamlet - Prince of HubNuggets

Scene: The battlements of the castle. It is midnight, the hour that the ghost of Lady Simone walks the night calling for justice, and seeking a champion.

Ghost: Alas, and woe! Will no-one right this dreadful wrong?

Enter Hamlet Anderson, Teamleader, and Prince of HubNuggets, with her two school chums, B.T. Rosenpantz and his sidekick, Zsuzsy GuildenBee. They cautiously approach the ghost.

Hamlet Anderson: So fair and foul a day, I have not seen. Forsooth, good soul, speak you!

Ghost: Murder...murder most foul...Good Hamlet, thine Uncle Felonius hath murdered thy father, married thy mother, and the Golden HubNuggets Wannabes are lost. (The Ghost holds out her hand to Hamlet, and a sheet of parchment flutters to rest on the parapet.)

Hamlet: The HubNuggets Wannabes lost? Good Rosenpantz and GuildenBee, we must haste to England to find them!

Ghost: ...but, Hamlet! Good Lord! Er, I mean - good, my lord - thy mother...thy uncle...

Hamlet (aside to Rosenpantz and GuildenBee): Methinks yon ghostly lady doth protest too much. (to Lady Simone's Ghost): As I know a hawk from a handsaw, they shall be dealt with - but now, we must away to England!

Rosenpantz (nudges GuildenBee, who picks up the parchment and presents it to Hamlet): ...a letter, my lord Hamlet.

Hamlet: Alas! Poor Yorick! - I knew his handwriting well, Horatio, er, sorry, Rosenpantz! (Reading the letter) Why, look you sirrahs! 'Tis part of the HubNugget Wannabes treasure...

Which one of this week's Home, Family, and Parenting nominees is your favorite?

  • 12% Bench Moms vs. Chihuahuas
  • 12% Deciding Whether or Not to Hire Piano Movers
  • 15% Keeping your children safe
  • 38% Mommy Tricks: Single Mom's Guide to Saving Money and the Planet
  • 8% The Benefits Of Drama Classes For Children
  • 15% The Day My World Got Rocked
26 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Romeus and Pattiette - Image by RedElf - photo from bonzasheila.com
Romeus and Pattiette - Image by RedElf - photo from bonzasheila.com
Nurse Ripplemaker - Image by RedElf - photo from bazmaroo.files.wordpress.com
Nurse Ripplemaker - Image by RedElf - photo from bazmaroo.files.wordpress.com

Act 2: A Tale of Star-Crossed HubNuggets

The Scene: Verona by moonlight - the balcony outside the window of fair, young Pattiette Capulet. She is reading a parchment by the flickering light of a candle.

Pattiette (gazing out at the moon): Ah, Romeus, Romeus! Wherefore art thou, Romeus?

Romeus (B.T.) Montaguepants (enters below, gazing up at fair Pattiette's fair silhouette): What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and fair Pattiette, the sun.

Pattiette (rushing to the balcony): Romeus, thine antlers have bewitched my heart, and thine nifty hose and doublet doth beshew thy manly form.

R.B.T. Montaguepants: My nifty hose doth chafe my manly form, but soft! Who lurks there behind thy tapestry?

Nurse Ripplemaker (appearing from behind the arras - a famous, French-woven tapestry much favored by Shakespearean lurkers): Fair Pattiette, Gentle Romeus, thy two houses, both alike in dignity, will not allow thy love. Thou knowest of the bitter feud o'er the greatest treasure in all Verona - one scroll of the HubNuggets Wannabes. Though I have journeyed throughout all Hub Pages, offering my congratulations to each new-chosen scribe, I cannot uncover the hiding place of the scroll.

Pattiette: Good Nurse, thy scroll lies in my chamber, upon the very bed where Romeus and I would pledge our love.

Nurse (removing a vial of poison and a dagger from her robe and placing them upon the ledge): Climb up then, Gentle Romeus, and we three shall peruse this treasure.

R.B.T. Montaguepants (ascending to the chamber): With love's light wings will I o'er-perch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out. (Glancing nervously at the poison vial and the dagger, he crosses to fair Pattiette, taking her fair hand in his): We shall on the morrow hie to Friar Laurence's cell.

Pattiette (linking both her fair hands to his): Yet saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and paw to palm is holy palmers' kiss. Fair Romeus - let us read:

Which one of this week's Technology nominees is your favorite?

  • 7% Hands On Review Of The New iPhone 4
  • 4% How to Make Money on a Viral Video
  • 39% Search Engine Ranking Optimization. The Beginner's SEO Checklist.
  • 29% Technology and the extinction of interpersonal communication
  • 18% The next iPad: Eken tablet computer (w/ Google Android)
  • 4% The Reasons Why You Should Buy The New iPhone 4
28 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

QueenZsuzsy Spangle-Wings - Image by RedElf
QueenZsuzsy Spangle-Wings - Image by RedElf
Sweet Shirley-Vine, PI-Blossom, and Rosy-Red Elf - Image by RedElf - photo from theage.com.au
Sweet Shirley-Vine, PI-Blossom, and Rosy-Red Elf - Image by RedElf - photo from theage.com.au

Act 3: A Midsummer Night's HubNugget

The Scene: The woods near Athens. Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings, Queen of the Fairies, slumbers, holding a tiny scroll, unaware of the mischief-making band of HubNugget Wannabe-gathering fairies that encircle her.

PI-Blossom: Oh, what fools these HubNugget-hoarders be! She loves the Wannabes, and would keep them for her own, but King Jason-Oberon desires that all may read the last HubNugget Wannabes scroll.

Sweet Shirley-Vine: The course of true love never did run smoothly.

Enter B.T. "Puck" Fairybloomers, who, having put a girdle round the earth in forty minutes, returns disguised as Bottom, an Athenian weaver, and bearing a suspicious resemblance to an ass - er, wearing the head of an ass - with antlers.

PI-Blossom: Bless thee, "Bottom"! Bless thee! Thou art translated.

Rosy-Red Elf: Prithee, anoint Queen Spangle-Wing's eyes with the magical juice of that flower 'ere she awakens and sees yon ass.

B.T. "Puck" Fairybloomers winks at Elf, as PI-Blossom squeezes the flower juice onto the eyelids of the slumbering queen, who immediately awakens.

Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings: What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

Bottom/Fairybloomers: A sweet-face man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day.

Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings: Sweet-faced angel, I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where oxslips and the nodding violet grows. Wouldst thou thither to read this scroll with me?

Bottom/Fairybloomers: Fair queen! Let us but read them here, and I shall hence, with thee. (Queen Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings flutters her long, sparkling eyelashes at the ass-headed jackalope, and unrolls the scroll...)

Which one of this week's Education and Science nominees is your favorite?

  • 18% "Enuf is Enuf!": Should we Simplify the English Language?
  • 7% Greatest Urbanists (Part 1)
  • 14% Sweet Coffee : Bitter Addiction
  • 5% The Derivative of a Function
  • 9% What Your Favorite Color Says About You
  • 48% Why I am Considering Homeschooling my Child
44 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

My ducats! My gravy boats! Image by Redelf - photo from hawaiishakes.org
My ducats! My gravy boats! Image by Redelf - photo from hawaiishakes.org

Act 4: The Merchant of HubNuggets

The Scene: A courtroom in Padua. Judge Menayan, Portia Anderson, and B.T.Shylockpants enter to hear the verdict in the case: "How to become eligible to be nominated as a HubNugget Wannabe":

Portia Anderson: The qualifying of a HubNugget Wannabe is not strained - it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the earth below:

  • Neither a borrower nor a lender be - write, within the last seven weeks, thine own original words on one of the featured topics
  • It is twice blessed, for thy author score shall be 75 or better, and thy qualifying hub shall attain a score of 55 or better
  • Thou shalt be a fresh-faced writer who joined three months ago or less

B.T. Shylockpants: Oh, noble judge, most learned judge! A boon - I beg of thee a boon! My thousand ducats! These youths, these HubNugget Wannabe striplings owe me yet a thousand ducats! ("Ducats" is an olde Shakespearean word, that, we believe, roughly translates to "gravy boats")

Judge: Nay, good Shylockpants, thy gravy boats are forfeit. These striplings, these beardless new writers have out-promoted thee!

B.T. Shylockpants: Nay, good judge! How make you this judgment?

Judge: Good Shylockpants, these HubNugget Wannabes must call on all their family and friends to vote for them.

  • They shall tweet, twitter, post on FaceBook,
  • Digg, and blog about their hub, to advertise their writing to all the world.
  • Then, the lucky nine who receive the most votes will be proclaimed HubNuggets, and their hubs shall be sent out to over 60,000 other hubbers in the weekly newsletter.

B.T. Shylockpants: My ducats! my gravy boats!

Portia Anderson: My goodness! Calm thyself, good Shylockpants! Thou shalt get other gravy boats, and, for now, "All's well that ends well!"

© 2010 RedElf

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30 comments

Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Ha! An evil plot indeed! R.B.T. Montaguepants is not to be trusted!


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Wouldst thou thither to read the scroll of wannabes with me?

Holly cow-est... RosyRedElf I sit-est next to my fair computer with a hoity-toity look on myself face, with a definite up-ety Shakespearean cacly lisp to myself voice, peru'thing the works over again. With the exception that my computer screen needs a mopping up, from my lispy sprays, thine hub was fabulouth.


Pipette...er...PI-Blossom 6 years ago

Make theeselves hither and read to the zither

Accompaniment for your delight so to do,

We make reading a pleasure, more so than leisure,

And glorious voting we welcome from you!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Greetings, Candie V! I figured if Nurse Ripplemaker had the dagger and the poison, we stood a fair chance of seeing the HubNuggets ;)

Mop away Thuzthy Thpangle-wingth, and thankee - though I am sure if you flutter your sparkly lashes at him again, Mr. Fairybloomers would be glad to help out! :D

How sweet thy words, Sweet Fairy PI - rhyming well becomes thee :D


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

RadElf, you are a marvel. I don't know how you put all this altogether?


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Greetings, friend Hh! It's all because my misspent youth in theater ;) I really enjoy working on the HubNugget hubs, too - they're great fun to play with. :D:D:D


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I am grinning all through out your treacherous story RedElf! Loved the photos too! So cool! LOL Ahhh the theater, I can so easily imagine it! To the Hubnuggets Nominees, congratulations and best of luck.

Vote, vote and vote please...and promote too!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

So glad you enjoyed it Nurse Ripplemaker! ...and good luck to all!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Nurse ripplemaker reporting for duty my fair kitty! The scrolls have been read, the excitement passed on! Best of luck to all the Hubnuggets Wannabes! You are all winners! Keep on writing. In the meantime, promote your hubs to your family and friends.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

What a terrifically imaginative way to introduce these outstanding HubNuggets! Thanks!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

I thank thee, kind Nurse Ripplemaker, and congratulations to all the nominees!

Glad you enjoyed this week's picks, Paradise7!


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 6 years ago from Hell, MI

Would that I could dally here, but alas, t'is more than nifty hose that chafes my manly form. T'would seem that the ivy upon Pattiette's wall was poison!


Baileybear 6 years ago

fabulous Shakespearean hubber portraits too


Simple Tim profile image

Simple Tim 6 years ago

Simply Enchanting!

"What's in a hub? That which we call a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious hub

By any other name would look like this hub.";)

Beautifully presented Hub RedElf! Awesome graphics and wonderful words!.

Congratulations to the hubnuggeteers too.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

very nice and good presentation, Maita


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 6 years ago from North America

"Short Ode to Young MergatroidPants":

Methinks yon crafty antlers were

Dire insensitive

To games of yore placed thro'

These ivy twine-ings -

The time after next,

Surely I mayst find some hemp.


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

Great job redelf! I love the way you impose the face on other artwork. Very creative and the names given to everyone are funny and somewhat fitting to their personalities it seems. Hehehe! Thanks for doing all that you do!


Duchess OBlunt 6 years ago

Redelf, very well done. Lot's of work on the art.

Finally made it back to vote! Good work again team on delivering some great hubs


Saree Anderson profile image

Saree Anderson 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

Frabjous!!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Undone by poison-ivied hose, how unfair to cut your dalliance short, friend Antlerpants.

Thanks so much, Baileybear. I had a lot of fun with them.

Simple Tim, you are too kind. I am so glad you enjoyed my presentation - I always have a lot of fun writing the hubnuggets hubs and messing about with PhotoShop.

Thanks, Maita, so glad you came to read and vote.

Fair Pattiette, Love's labors are not lost;) for we all shall live to love another day - or something like that...;)

Money Glitch, thanks so much. I always have great fun choosing a story-line and playing with images for the characters. They are all great team members to work with, and very good-natured about all the fun I get up to with these hubs ;)

Thanks so much, Duchess! I loves to play with my imaging programs... and yes, we have a great bunch of hubs to vote on this week, too!

We have a brillig crop this time, Sara Anderson! Caloo, callay!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 6 years ago from North America

Futterwacken!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

OK - ??? - whatever it was you said ;), PI-Blossom.


Gilbert Smith profile image

Gilbert Smith 6 years ago from New Mexico

Hey, pretty cool having one of my first hubs on here! I don't expect to win, but it's encouraging to be nominated, nonetheless.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Hey, Gilbert! You never know how things will go... and congratulations on your nomination!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Love this hub! I'm a Shakespeare fan to begin with, so this was a fantastic read, thanks RE! Sadly, my brain is not able to speak the language at the moment.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Forsooth, Sweet Shirley-Vine, methinks thou hast "Shakespeare" enough for one week...;) Glad you enjoyed the hub!


salt profile image

salt 6 years ago from australia

Whether it is nobler to read and vote or to not read at all is the question...


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

O, prithee, read and and be joyed by these new scribes!


ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 6 years ago from NE Ohio

Brilliant. Laughed all the way through (especially at "R.B.T. Montaguepants: My nifty hose doth chafe my manly form") and I haven't even had a chance to meet most of these folks yet.

Two antlers up.

L.T.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thanks so much, ltfawkes - nice to meet you! Hope you check out future HubNuggets hubs as well ;)

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