Something You Won't Find on HubPages

Something You Won't Find on HubPages

HubPages rivals Wikipedia as a repository of mostly true user-edited writings. The folks at Merriam-Webster and CNN stay up late into the early evening, pondering how we arrived at this state of affairs. Sure, news is important, but content for the sake of content has no rival. Experts estimate that erstwhile hubbers churn out meaningful screeds at a rate of 1.345 polysyllabic words per millisecond: good luck proving us wrong.

We present a compendium of subjects not yet rendered into HubPages. Feel free to fill this conceptual breach, should you identify a subsection of a microcosm of a topic about which you might be inclined to pontificate. If you find yourself inadequate, refer to this treatise for guidance. It's easy to write on something you know nothing about.

acapnotic - Someone who doesn't smoke

Numerous Hubs address voluminous topics centered around smoking, not smoking, quitting smoking, smoking only when on fire, and smoking meat products for fun and profit. None of these hubs include the word acapnotic, referring to a person who doesn't smoke.

For example: Acapnotic Annie acknowledged adverse atmospheric anomalies appearing around Appalachian asthmatics.

baccaceous - like a berry, or bearing berries

HubPages bursts at its' digital seams with pie recipes and smoothie concoctions containing berries of the world. Blueberries, boysenberries, blackberries, and pomegranates proliferate. For some reason, baccaceous is conspicuous by its' absence. Surely a hubber is willing to "step up" and provide logically related sentences obliquely encapsulating this semi-popular word.

We suggest: British bakers build baccaceous baguettes because buyers badger.

battological - pertaining to unnecessarily repetitive writing or speaking

Need we say more? I don't think we need to say more about this topic. We have certainly covered anything that should be covered pertaining to this word. Yes, this word needs no more exposition. Few would argue that the dearth of battological references has now been addressed sufficiently. Of course, someone else is always welcome to further expand on this issue. Perhaps a Hubber in Hoboken has something to add.

gabelle - tax on salt

There is hope for HubPages. Over one year ago, hubber CMHypno published a treatise on 'salt'. Somehow the intrepid author managed to work in a reference to a French salt tax referred to as a gabelle. We salute hypnotherapist CMHypno and the salty prose.

giddhom - a frantic galloping movement made by cows when plagued with flies

In spite of thousands of hubs focusing on the vagaries of cows, HubPages includes no use of the word giddhom.

We are as shocked as you are.

Bovine culture includes large numbers of flies. Black flies, green flies, deer flies, house flies, french flies and time flies all infest helpless flocks of potential prime rib as they harmlessly ruminate. The life and times of an average cow cannot be properly characterized without mixing in a few episodes of giddhom. Consider that when you compose your next cow-based hub.

groak - to watch people silently while they're eating, hoping they will ask you to join them

So many of us have endured the mystery meat and orange drink in little cartons that are served in the HubPages cafeteria. The food may not be gourmet, but the company tends to be stellar. Many a long day of tedious hubbing has been disrupted by a raucous rendition of the HubPages fight song, started by one table and spreading like a plague of flies to every other table in the dining room. Unfortunately, not even spirited and slightly off-key singing can ameliorate the plight of those painfully shy hubbers who sit alone with their Pringles and groak throughout their lunch hour. Those who groak will always be with us.

machinule - surveyor's instrument for obtaining right angle.

We continue our survey of stuff that you won't find on HubPages with a mechanical device used by surveyors to derive a right angle. The machinule may be important to the segment of society that calibrates our hills and valleys, but hubbers blithely refuse to refer to it.

Should you find yourself in dire need of 90 degrees, look elsewhere. HubPages is many things, but not a friend of the machinule. Perhaps this will change in the future. Perhaps thoughtful writers will marshal their vowels and consonants into words shaped like stuff that's meaningful to surveyors. Or not.

Conclusion

Here be a few more big words that do not appear in hubs: feel free to adapt them into your own work:

Control your macrophobia and jump into HubPages authoring. Eventually Google will index your work.

Yes, some hubs may offend the macrosmatic among us, but in the long run we will all benefit. Not every hub is written for every reader.

Attend to your mammothrept before launching into your next hub. Never neglect discipline. After all, it takes a village.

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Comments 11 comments

SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 5 years ago from NJ, USA

LOL now my mind is well and truly boggled!


tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 5 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

Brought an early-morning smile. Thanks.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

An amusing look at what not to do, I think. My philosophy is to try to use simple words whenever possible.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

What do you say about a hub like this except I think you should have included a vid of Giddhom!


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 5 years ago from SE MA

I just checked to see if anyone had written about brachiation and was deeply disappointed to find that no one has. HOW CAN THIS IMPORTANT SUBJECT HAVE BEEN OVERLOOKED????


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

If you will only offer some food from Dairy Queen or Taco Bell as a prize or two, I'm sure your fellow hubbers can come up with some interesting paragraphs regarding these subjects.


gregas profile image

gregas 5 years ago from Corona, California.

Interesting subject, but I hate to say that now your title is wrong. I just found all of this on a hub page. Greg


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@SimeyC: Verily!

@tmbridgeland : thank you for reading.

@dahoglund: good advice.

@psychicdog.net: If you can find one, let me know.

@Pcunix: Looking it up... Ah, yes. We need more hubs on that subject!

@Austinstar: Ars Gratia Artis

@gregas: It's a Catch 22, no doubt.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

nicomp - Being acapnotic, I can enjoy baccaceous foods more than most, and since I don't eat salt I am exempted from gabelle. However, I do groak occasionally in a restaurant.

I try to refrain from battological exposition especially when watching a surveyor utilize his machinule (not what it sounds like). And I try to stay out of fields where cows may be exhibiting giddhom. I was brought up to observe etiquette as an unspoiled mammothrept.

Do you think Google will index me now?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj : I owe you one!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Update:

acapnotic -- still no other hubs use this

baccaceous -- ditto

battological -- appears in a modified form as part of a quote from another language. I think.

gabelle -- appears in many hubs as someone's name, as an architectural component and once in a salty context.

giddhom -- no other hubs use this

groak -- Used in a few hubs as a name

machinule -- no other hubs use this

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