YADA YADA YADA, BOO-HOO

Dear Hubbers

I am truly sorry, but I have not sorted through numerous hubs to determine the hottest topics. I have not participated in a recent discussion, nor monitored a favorite blog. (I promise that I will be better in the future).

I haven’t even watched the news of late, and though I am registered on Twitter and I exist on Face book, I do not tweet and seldom show my face. I did however launch my own web site,(now dismantled). Why? Because I wanted…thought I had something to offer, but do I really?

It has been a year since I have contributed a Hub. I am surprised that HubPages has not booted me off. I have started a few, but then other lives took over mine. My days are always filled to capacity, with errands, chores, and phone conversations…manual labor...relatives moving in. I have no space and no place.

Maybe I have stretched myself too thin…tried to encompass too wide a field, with very limited resources. My performance on all formats could be compared to Katie’s on Dancing With The Stars…wooden, clumsy, without rhythm, out of step with my partner, and the music.

I dislike having to perform, or rather feeling like I have to perform. It seems somehow dishonest and contrived…not me, but someone I think I should be, or someone I am expected to be. Just as Katie is certainly not programmed for dancing, I don’t think I am programmed for all of this social networking, and it is not because I don’t like people…I do.

I like people, and I love to write, however it seems almost impossible to finish the projects I start. I can't seem to move past the beginning...I feel bogged down...moving in slow motion. Soon after I push off from the starting line I loose sight of the goal. In no time at all I find myself slogging along in the outside lane, intercepting disruptions, and wondering why I am there. The fact that I have ADD might be a contributing factor, but I refuse to use that as an excuse.

Maybe I should just accept the fact that my life is turning out to be no more than a box of beginnings.

I am exhausted, frustrated, and feeling absolutely not in control of anything.

And now - everyone say, yada yada yada, boo-hoo.

I am grateful for this avenue of free thought and expression. I feel much better…maybe I can write something.

My Best Regards

Ana

I thought I was in this video...feels familiar...spooky

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Comments 5 comments

Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hi Ana, I miss your musings and even if you have to pull them out of your box of beginnings and journal them into a half hub, they will still be welcome. I think that life is composed of beginnings and only rarely do we complete them. Life and others interact, refine, debate, change, supplement and sometimes take over our beginnings and make them into something really remarkable. By the way, what do you think was in that box that the goth/biker girl clutched in her hand? I think it has the elements of a short story don't you?

So just make hp your journal--I for one will read. =:)


Ana Louis profile image

Ana Louis 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

Hi Winsome. You are an angel. I so appreciate you interest and wonderful words of encouragement. You do inspire me.

I have often wondered what was in the box and the wondering has often set my imagination in gear. I would love to write that short story. Just curious - what do you think was in the box?

I have been reading your hubs and of course I love them all, so I always vote you up. I have not had time to sit long enough to comment on each one. But I am following you.

God bless you and may you have a very Merry Christmas


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Maybe letters from her mother who disappeared when she was 12? Maybe a picture of the Scottish Highlands? Maybe she was a time traveler and wanted to visit her great great grandmother and in the box is a yellowed picture so she could recognize you when she found you?

I'm sure you could think of a better story based in Louisiana. She is really the story and she spoke to you on a couple of levels--I'd like to read it. Just do it.

Thanks for reading and you don't have to write a comment, but just say hi and I'll know you were there and that would be cool too. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. =:)


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Ana, hubpages demands a lot of time if you want to try and interact with others. We are all in the same boat. I'm fortunate that I can think of things whilst I'm laying bricks.

You are conversing with Winsome so your time is well spent. Cheers


Ana Louis profile image

Ana Louis 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

Hello again attempted. Yes, I love hubpages but life is busy and oh-so unpredictable. I love to write, and could spend my days doing nothing else, but alas I am the star of my own reality show.

Laying bricks has allowed you to come with some great hubs, so don't stop.

I agree with you about Winsome. I really like all the writers I am following. Just wish I had time to comment more than I do.

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