You need to be Fresh

Want to be indexed?

We insist that the government leave us alone but we prefer Google to regularly crawl over us. Without being indexed by the mighty search engine, our hubs languish, doomed to be read only by people like Mark Ewbie.

Google won't like you unless you write good. And you're fresh. Unfortunately, computers cannot measure qualitative aspects of your work. We face a top-secret Google algorithm judging us from afar. At least the IRS publishes thousands of pages of regulations. Fortunately, I can contrive my own definitions of 'good' and 'fresh' for the purposes of publishing another hub.

My judgments are as good as anyone else's and they're free.

Flowers are fresh

Write about flowers. Nothing conveys freshness like colorful plants springing to life from dirt. People love to give and receive and read about flowers. Tell the world what's growing in your back yard and take some pictures with your phone. Include the pictures because they give your readers something to do besides read.

Sub-topic: write about the companies that sell fresh flowers. Nothing is fresher than a box of roses or dandelions arriving at your front door with a computer-generated message printed on a gift card.

This topic offers hours of fun for budding writers.

Smear fresh on your face

People look at your face. You could stay in your parent's basement and write hubs all day, but Google will find out and de-index your compositions. I think they are outside right now: go look.

Eventually you will have to go outside and deal with real humans, even if it's just the Starbucks Barista. Sporting a fresh face will make their job easier. Evidently this type of face can be achieved by putting on a mask. It's not a Halloween mask, but it costs more.

Drink some fresh water

Along with a fresh face, you'll be needing a watery drink. You wouldn't want to sip unfiltered water because Google is peeking in your kitchen window right now. Their computers take into account the quality of your refreshment.

The filter in your refrigerator becomes nasty rather quickly. Replace it on a regularly scheduled basis to keep your water and ice tasting fresh.

By state law, as far as you know, each model of refrigerator must use a unique filter. When the manufacturer redesigns the hinges on the freezer door they carefully craft a new and exclusive filtration unit costing more than your best hub will earn in a year. Support yourself by writing numerous articles about numerous models and styles. It's a win-win scenario.

Time is always fresh

After your yard, face, and refrigerator are made fresh, consider your bony forearm. Nothing says hip and happening quite like a fresh new timepiece. Encircling your wrist must be the latest in fashion: don't worry about telling time because your phone, car, computer, iPad, iPod, and iPacemaker all have clocks in them.

Nothing changes quite like the time. It's always fresh.

The Prince is Fresh

Most people have heard of television, so writing about what's on TV always makes Google happy. Their computers absolutely love to index articles that include The Fresh Price of Bel Air. Will Smith and his cast of freshness graced the public airwaves for 6 seasons. You can own all six seasons on a compendium of DVDs, then you can write about the seasons or the DVDs.

Keep it fresh. And real. Both are good.
Keep it fresh. And real. Both are good.
ha ha. Fooled you.
ha ha. Fooled you.

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Comments 5 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

At least your verbiage is fresh, nicomp. ... 'colorful plants springing to life from dirt' is the freshest phrase I've read in ages. I'm also fond of 'Google won't like you unless you write good.' So pithy!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

drbj : Don't get fresh with me.


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 3 years ago from Central Texas

Seems like one kind of "big brother" or another is always watching us, "guiding us" and putting their two cents worth in -- and if we don't follow it -- we're lose. I've chosen to just go on ahead with what I want to write and what I want to write about -- if it suits 'em fine and if doesn't -- well, been there before. Loved this Hub! Best/Sis


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Angela Blair : Google is way too fresh with us. No doubt


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Still fresh, but not getting many visits. Maybe I need to lay out snacks.

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