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Humor

  1. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    Is there or has there ever been a "humor" topic here?  It should fall just after honeymoon and somwhere before divorce.  Just curious.  Thanks!

  2. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    I think you just started one! LOL so might as well keep it going big_smile

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Chris, what shall I ever talk about?

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        lemme see...describe your avatar! there must be a story to it and not just random thing from the top of your head! or is it...? i'm quitting your fan club! LOL

        1. Pest profile image59
          Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Once a fan always a fan!  You may never leave.  Also, Never question the avatar, NEVAR!!!!!

          1. Cris A profile image60
            Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            okay fine, heard you the first time! sheesh! don't be so cranky - this is a humor forum lest you've forgotten! big_smile

  3. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    We need Goldentoad and Sschilke!  wo bis du???!

  4. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    i remember! goldentoad commented you're killing him in the musings hub! maybe he was not joking! whatyouthink?

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I have sent for him through an email...my hubs are the things of suicide so we may want to say our good-byes now.

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        okay pest, see you around in a bit

        1. Pest profile image59
          Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            Not me...I am talking about those who read my hubs, things of suicide...I don't even read them and you do, yet you live???

          1. Cris A profile image60
            Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            so you're saying i just missed the punchline there? thought you missed a period after "suicide" and before "so".  LOL Anyways, i think your hubs hit people differently! who knows I won't be back later! maybe you should issue a warning to every hub you write - something like they did in The Ring

            1. Pest profile image59
              Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                My hubs are "horrible"  that was what I was getting at.  A sort of reverse psycho stuff.  To get people to look at my hubs.   Come on Chris I need all the help I can get!

  5. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    if you build it they will come! that's what was said to Kevin Costner in the Field of Dreams - now what you have to build I've no idea! Btw, false modesty does not become you. An afterthought - make your titles interesting like "Lighting your fart" - (just published and i've commented already) or something like that. Musings sounds serious if you ask me big_smile

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Silence!!!  I have considered this dilemma, and I am working on it!   I was trying not to confuse the fan that i had at the time...Crisssssss!  lol!

  6. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    No it's not you, i'm under medication so pardon my shiftyness if there is such a word. Anyways, doesn't it make you wonder why the rest of them hubbers haven't gotten into joining this thread.. they are missing something i'm telling ya LOL

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I am wondering as well...So you tell me,  Why are you and I here alone???

      1. Stevech63 profile image61
        Stevech63posted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Not so much alone guys, as being watched. The Mighty Illuminati have been tracking your musings, and we are not amused............................... LOL!

        1. goldentoad profile image61
          goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          what plane did you jump out of to land here? welcome, but I see you have fans before you even have written a hub, I know Pest would like to know how you did that, he's bothering about having fans, seems that he wants a whole trailer park of 'em.

  7. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    beats me! i have an idea though, why don't YOU head on over to the Religion Forum and post the link for this thread! let's get some people here c'mon!

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Lord Almighty!!!  I can try.  Religion to here???  You trying to get me booted?  I will go see.

  8. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    better you than me my friend! besides i've my face on my avatar while yours... okay let's not go there - NEVER the avatar i remember you saying none too subtly.

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I went over there...it is rough!

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Did you post anything? Should have advised you to lead them on with the bible fetish thing... that willl get more than just raised eyebrows... Now head on back!

    2. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      All in fun my friend.  I would show my face, but it would ad horror to my humor

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        it's a noneissue. besides i'd rather be humored than horrified! big_smile

        1. Pest profile image59
          Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Well, i am going for a while...Would be nice to see others pick this up and run with it.

          1. Cris A profile image60
            Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this


            i have a likely candidate as to who that might be... if he gets resurrected from the dead! LOL so see ya mt friend and say hi to the ladies in the park for me big_smile

  9. 0
    C. C. Riterposted 8 years ago

    Dang! I missed this thread before I made one. Who is the funniest Hubber?

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      never too late! check out the hubs of Pest and goldentoad! you'll have a good time, I swear! big_smile

  10. Dame Scribe profile image62
    Dame Scribeposted 8 years ago

    Alphabetically ... humor would go before honeymooning, tongue lol ...you should put all your "Trailer Lot" stories under your own Humor category. smile  you do such a fantastic job!

  11. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    pest, where are you?! he's back from the dead!!

  12. goldentoad profile image61
    goldentoadposted 8 years ago

    Damnit, I found it too late, this is where that Pest has been hiding, I thought he was round the corner, behind the liquor store hanging out or doing God knows what with one of his mom's "John". Sadly, I must shut the computer down as the snooping wife is starting to get suspicious I am staying up past my bedtime. This will continue!

  13. sheenarobins profile image78
    sheenarobinsposted 8 years ago

    I think goldentoad would be a great candidate for the humor topic. I'm about to go check out Pest  because this is the first time I saw him.

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I see you followed my advice! You'll also love Pest despite the name... LOL he's one hell of a white trash (his own words not mine!) big_smile

  14. sheenarobins profile image78
    sheenarobinsposted 8 years ago

    hahaha. I can see that now. I'm reading still. Lemme, go back and give the judgment!

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Okay you do that while I head on over to the kitchen... cooking time! Yay! I'm the family's iron chef (ahem). Just make sure NOT to comment on the avatar, neva eva the avatar! which makes me wonder nonetheless... See ya in a bit big_smile

  15. sheenarobins profile image78
    sheenarobinsposted 8 years ago

    I was about to comment on that then decided to let it be. I was wondring if you guys where talking about humor topic and somewhere along the way, you guys were teasing each other about your avatars. Why did you change it? heheheh.

    I like both so it doesn't matter. But the cat is curious and she says, "meow, let me get a better view."

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Chris had asked me about my Avatar and I had no real answer so I jokingly told him to never ask about the Avatar "Neva!"  Neva is what we use to say in another forum I posted in.  Meant to be evil without the sinister laugh.  Nothing I say should ever really be taken serious. 

      The cat is my real cat, Kat, the topic of one of my hubs.  Much like Goldentoad's wife she believes I spend too much time on my computer.  The picture was taken from my desk as she was playing with the cables, undoubtedly trying to sabotage my computer time!

  16. 0
    C. C. Riterposted 8 years ago

    Well now, ain't this 'posed ta be 'bout humor. I tho't there'd be some jokes here by now. So here goes.

    Hillary Clinton's New Years Roast Beef Recipe

    1 Large Rib Roast
    1 small Rib Roast

    Preheat Oven to 350 degrees

    Season the two roasts as you like, to taste. Place the little one on bottom rack of oven and the large one on the top rack and close door.
    When the little roast is burned the large one is done. Take both out of oven and discard the little roast and carve and serve the large one.

    1. goldentoad profile image61
      goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      C.C Riter, I think you just silenced the audience, and everyone knows they got order a stronger drink if you are going to keep telling jokes like that. I know you are about as fresh a wet booger but oh my, try again, wait, let me order that double shot of tequila first. What's green and smells like pig?

  17. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    why are there so many, songs about rainbows... try again Toad!

    1. goldentoad profile image61
      goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      The punchline for mine: Kermit's finger. Tell me chris, why so many songs about rainbows?

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Sheesh! You dense or what.. Kermit sang that song. Hmmm is that a serious question...?

        1. goldentoad profile image61
          goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Still on antibiotics, mind cloudy, man I didn't get you on that one! I'll get off the stage now before I get that tomato thrown at me!

          1. Cris A profile image60
            Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            Okay off you go! and only come back when your sense of humor's back - or Pest will rid of you fast! big_smile

            1. goldentoad profile image61
              goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

              I'm outta here! I'll be back in a few hours, got to lock up the job site and head to the chaos that awaits me at home! Peace out.

  18. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    Three pages!  Wow...  I don't have any jokes to post but I think you will like the change I made...oooorrrrrrrrr not.

  19. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    Everyone must have a life this new years...  I am here all alone! 

    What do you do with 365 used condoms?  Make it into a tire and call it a good-year!

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      This joke is new....5 years back! big_smile

      1. goldentoad profile image61
        goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Pest, I would think there would be plenty of goings on in the trailer park with New Years, some fresh cooked meth, everyone passing around a schlitz, some dirt weed, and a bag of chew?

  20. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    LOL and new avatar, too! who shot the picture? the other horse? big_smile

  21. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    First off...Chris, I know the joke is old, but it fits the time of YEAR...lol

    Goldentoad, I do not do meth, I sell mommas surplus.  I only drink Stohs, and that would be a BAG of weed not chew that we pass around.  You ever try and chew while drinking beer?  Spit swallow???  nothing worse than drinking a Strohs bottle of mommas chew spit!  ( yes I went there!!!)

  22. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    Has anybody seen a toad - he was last seen with a tadpole - and a pest - he looks like...hmm... his avatar! Guess I'm alone now...

    Okay, i'll try to come up with a joke that I don't know the punchline to that way I get to guess! Good thinking Wonder Dog! big_smile

  23. 0
    C. C. Riterposted 8 years ago

    What's that Pony trying to do to you Pest? Or should I ask, what are you trying to do to the Pony? LOL
    May you have the best of this New Year! Is that an 'innie' or an 'outie' converted to an 'innie'?

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        What Pony???  lol.

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        let me post it here, copied it a while ago! knew you would do this trick! ha!

        1. Pest profile image59
          Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            You know me too well already!

          1. Cris A profile image60
            Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            yep, better than your momma does! big_smile

            1. Pest profile image59
              Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                Close!  Momma may know, me, Her problem is remembering who I am...

              1. Cris A profile image60
                Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                LOL next time pretend that you're one of her friends - bet she won't forget you once she sorts you out! big_smile

                1. Pest profile image59
                  Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                  Ewwwwwwwwwww.  After a day of momma's drinking she does call me "John" now and then.   I do not claim to be one of her "friends".

                  1. Cris A profile image60
                    Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                    Double Ewwwwwwww i can never outgross you! You sure your name's Pest? Or is it really Perv? big_smile

  24. goldentoad profile image61
    goldentoadposted 8 years ago

    You betta not let your momma read what you just wrote, she might break that switch out on you again

    1. Pest profile image59
      Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Nawwww, she thinks I am playing D&D.

      1. Cris A profile image60
        Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Did I miss any?! the good parts? big_smile

        1. Pest profile image59
          Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Mommas good parts were flushed away years ago!

  25. Pest profile image59
    Pestposted 8 years ago

    Why is it that just three of us choose to participate in a "humor" thread?

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe they think we troll people who come over. Or maybe they're into some vicarious entertainment. Or maybe I don't know! Let's see what the toad has to say

      1. goldentoad profile image61
        goldentoadposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I have to go into hiding now, Mama G is around!

        1. Cris A profile image60
          Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Pest, who's the big guy now? big_smile

          1. Pest profile image59
            Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            That'd be you Chris!  You have seniority over me!  I see another thread started for misc stuff to include "jokes"!  Hey!  You don't think toad is going over there do you???

            1. Cris A profile image60
              Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

              Me? Thought so! Naah I don't think Toad is going anywhere else in the forums. It's as he said, his Mama G is on the prowl! His wifey doesn't know about his hubbing and it will be the end of the Toad we know if she finds out - with all that hubs he has written exposing his inner workings! But don't tell you heard it from me, okay?

              1. Pest profile image59
                Pestposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                Sure thing!  I too must be going for a while.  I will be back in a few hours!  I do have kids to feed and all that stuff.

                1. Cris A profile image60
                  Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                  a man's gotta do what he's gotta do! me, meanwhile will brave the Religion Forum! LOL

  26. Cris A profile image60
    Cris Aposted 8 years ago

    Hey Pest where are you? I have a good one for you: What's gross and hubs?

  27. needful things profile image77
    needful thingsposted 8 years ago

    That Avatar looks great (racoon with knife on kitten). I'm very new here in Hubpages. It would seem that this thread is the most active...

    So I'd like to give all of you a Stress Reliever... It's the first of my humor hubs. Well these guys made me really laugh... so it is just right that I share it with others.

    LAUGH NOW

    Hopefully all of you are laughing... and while you're at it... please let me know how I can improve my hubs. I sure need an expert hubber just about now to point me in the right direction lest I get lost. big_smile

    1. Cris A profile image60
      Cris Aposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I'm familar with the Moymoy Palaboy brothers, being from the Philippines and all! Yep, I must agree they are quite a riot! big_smile

      As to the right direction for newbies like yourself, try http://hubpages.com/faq/ for starters big_smile And and oh, don't forget to have fun! big_smile

 
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