I just got an email from Mrs Carman LaPoint, of the United Nations. Because so many people from Europe, Asia, Oceania, Antartica and the US have been scammed from Nigeria and Britain, those two countries have agreed to compensation of $100 million to me. After taxes and bank charges I will receive $10.4 million. That ought to produce some action by Nigeria and particularly Britain (the Queen won't like those kinds of numbers) to stop those nasty scammers!
All I have to do is wire Mrs. LaPoint $200 to her office in Nigeria for notarization fees to get the $100,000 that is due me. I'm on the way to Western Union now!
I certainly hope my fellow hubbers and especially the residents of Oceania get their email soon. Most of the folks in Oceania probably don't have computers to get scammed with and this could change that immediately.
I've gotten a lot of scam emails, but this one is new. A scam to stop the scammers! What could be better?
I haven't received mine yet. Perhaps you can forward it to me so I can get the ball rolling ASAP. I could certainly use 10.4 million!
Well, I'm not sure about the 10.4 - the email said I would only get a hundred thousand. I presume that the nice Mrs. LaPoint needs the other 10.3 million as her cut in the process, for her efforts to get me paid.
But you won't need the email. Because you are such a nice person and I'm sure you have been scammed by those terrible British, I will give you half of what I get. In fact, I will immediately mail you half of what I expect to get - how's that for generosity?
You are a generous soul!
I haven't received my check yet, but I'm keeping an eye out for it!
From: The Office of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Buckingham Palace, London, SW1A 1AA
Tel: (+44) 207 930 4832
To: Mr. Wil derNess
Subject: International Nigerian 419 Scammer Compensation Scheme
Dear Mr. Will derNess
Further to your recent correspondence with Mrs. LaPoint of the United Nations, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has asked me to write to you to clarify certain "elements" of the Compensation Scheme.
In order to receive the compensation offered it is necessary for you to forward the sum of £5,000 ($9,332.25 at today's rate, no Nigerian Nairas please) to this office in order for us to properly assess your suitability vis á vis the nature of both the emotional and physical hardship caused by those nasty scammers. The assessment will be carried out by my good friend Dr. Horatio P. Plot and Her Majesty asks if you would therefore be grateful enough to pay said sum directly into Dr. Plot's PayPal account number 7YHT419NIG/SCAM.
Assuring you of our best attention at all times
Equerry to Queen Elizabeth II for Nigerian Affairs
P.S. Are you Dutch? I only ask because Her Majesty asked if you knew Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands. Apparently Princess Catharina-Amalia's nanny is a derNess (of the Rotterdam derNess'). If you are, then you may be eligible for extra compensation as the Dutch will soon be launching a similar scheme. If that is the case then if you simply forward an extra £1,000 ($1,623) to Horatio then we can kill two birds with one stone.
Í get 7 of these emails a day. If they gave me money, all the banks of Nigeria would owe me about 8 Billion in US funds by now, lol.
Sounds like between you and H. Plot you have it well in hand.
Thank you both, as well as these altruistic intercontinental truth teams, for making cyberspace safer for us all!
Sorry you probably won't collect the $100 million.
But, you did get a fun new name out of the deal!
Mr. Wil derNess!
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