I think it's a good intro, but I would break it up in a couple of sections if you can, just so it's not a wall of text. Otherwise, looks good to me!
Quite boring but informative, and BTW we don't have lenses on hubpages
'Please note that this lens is about using GPS collars to locate lost pet dogs, as apposed to using GPS collars on hunting or sports dogs.'
As far as I got. Sorry...
If that was ironic, you shouldn't be looking for feedback. You should just be accepting that this writing 'thing' is not for you.
If it was not ironic, you might like to look into the meaning of scare quotes.
You asked for honest feedback...
Okay, before, I gave you accurate feedback -- two glaring errors in the first sentence and a feeling that I didn't want to read any further if that was the best that you could do.
Now, I will tell you what I really think. The kinds of page that you seem to want to put on this site will be harmful to it.
Your dog bed page is a Panda magnet. The subject has been covered to death. You have fired in the affiliate ads with a shotgun.
My guess is that this page, and the other one too, were destined for Squidoo (why talk about a lens, otherwise?) but you couldn't get them past the dupe filter. So we get stuck with them.
I only found one sentence that was not phrased properly, the remainder of you work is perfect....You did a great job!!!
You have a point. This kind of criticism shouldn't fall entirely on you. The problem is that, the more I look around this site, the more I see subs that are stuffed with nothing but the worst kind of cliched, Panda-bait articles.
You know the kind of thing:
Red Wine Stains
And other lazy, lazy keyword research outcomes
You are hardly the worst (not yet, anyway). You simply got a little blast because you show the classic symptoms of that ilk while pretending to be a newbie innocent. Also, having gotten fair criticism, you came up with all that ohh!! how horrid!! what a cruel man!! help!! help!!
p.s. you need a comma in the first sentence of your new lens... hmm, hub...
Will, I don't understand why you call these Panda bait. Please explain. Yes, credit repair would be, but the rest would just be hard to get a good ranking.
These are Google's Panda guidelines:
http://googlewebmastercentral.blogspot. … ality.html
Here are a few of the points
Does the article provide original content or information, original reporting, original research, or original analysis?
Does the page provide substantial value when compared to other pages in search results?
Those 2 points will sink many subs here on their own. Let alone stuff like this:
Does this article provide a complete or comprehensive description of the topic?
Does this article contain insightful analysis or interesting information that is beyond obvious?
I think the one hundred thousandth article on How to Remove Red WIne from Carpets will suffer some algo wrath.
Actually, when you read all the points together and think about HP, it is not a happy feeling.
I remember my first Hub here which was about getting vomit off your carpet.
Will kindly pointed out that everyone in the world had already covered the subject and that I was in breach of Panda guideline 3.4 subsection 2. That sort of garbage, he explained cheerfully, was of no use to man nor beast.
I cried at first and the tears led to a bit more vomit which remains a discolored patch to this day despite the excellent advice in my Hub.
"What can I do?" I asked Will.
"Write about stickmen" he said.
I was surprised at first and then realised. "Of course" I thought, forgetting to avoid the vomit but at least I had my slippers on, "That's it". Sure enough as the days have turned into years...
edit: That's probably enough of that. Sorry.
The OP no longer exists on this site. Some new people have a hard time in forums. Too much honesty can scare them off. I tried to find her hub.
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