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What do you want?

  1. profile image0
    Beth37posted 3 years ago

    Hmmm?

    1. Will Apse profile image87
      Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Parma ham.

      Today, I want a plate of Parma ham, some stuffed olives and a rich, peppery Italian table wine (the kind that leaves your teeth enamel intact).

      And some bread that takes some chewing even after it has been doused in olive oil.

      But having gained a few pounds after giving up smoking I am not allowed anything tasty to eat until I am rake-like.

      http://www.pontis.co.uk/graphics4/6/parma2.jpg

      I would kill any number of Italian peasants for that ham, all the same.

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Ham it is. Someone get Will some ham post haste.

      2. CraftytotheCore profile image87
        CraftytotheCoreposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        If you want a healthy appetizer, try that ham wrapped around stalks of asparagus, coated with olive oil and roasted in a pan at 400 degrees for 20 minutes.

        1. Will Apse profile image87
          Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Sounds great! How many hams per stalk?

    2. myefforts profile image85
      myeffortsposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      A lot of traffic to my hubs .. smile

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

        I've run out of fairy dust.

    3. profile image0
      Rad Manposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Honestly... another beer.

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

        I have never seen you on a non religious forum thread. I'm so proud of you right now. Have a beer on me... but no driving. smile

  2. FatFreddysCat profile image91
    FatFreddysCatposted 3 years ago

    I want a bottle of anything... and a glazed donut. To GO!

    1. Will Apse profile image87
      Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      If you were brandishing that ham no one would dare stand in your way. Get the ham and the world is yours.

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Elliot again or was that Shakespeare?

        1. Will Apse profile image87
          Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          No, that was Diddlin' Joe Hickup and the Hickory Valley Hopheads.

          You are annoyed with now. I can tell.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Ive never once been annoyed with you. It takes quite a bit to annoy me and you always make me laugh.

  3. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    Or fresh homemade bread , still warm with slices of ham  , the perfect cheese , grilled to perfection , and a damned good micro-brew .....Cold !  Two of them !....:-]

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe Will can share his ham with you.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        That ain't happenin'.

        Sorry, horse person. Don't get me wrong, but the only person worthy of that ham is me.

  4. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    I aint askin Will , I'm taking that ham !......:-D

  5. profile image0
    Beth37posted 3 years ago

    No one is spared when men fight over ham.

  6. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    I imagine that we can settle this like gentlemen.

    http://blennerhassettfamilytree.com/images/Wogdon_Duelling_pistols_1.jpg

    Beth might like to supply the gore buckets and some light refreshment.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I keep my gore buckets in the kitchen pantry... I'll run fetch them.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Better get some big ones, I never shot a horse-sized person before.

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Mostly just small ones?
          I've got the refreshments ready... lemonade and ham.

  7. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    "My kingdom for a ham "  I will die in Beth's arms if I must!

  8. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    "Unhand my pork you scoundrel "
    "I'll run ye through"

  9. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    I asked Sigmund what he made of all this stuff about guns, pork, horses...

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bnCPF9Wzy9M/TOp6UOiB7cI/AAAAAAAAAGw/LoS88jggqmI/s400/Sigmund-Freud-photo1.jpg

    He said. 'I analysed the themes of this thread according to the strict Principles of Psychoanalysis and must conclude that a number of cretinous individuals have too much time on their hands.

    1. HollieT profile image86
      HollieTposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      He further added "Including me, think I'll go experiment with cocaine and entangle myself with my female sample"

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        That is obscure, even by my standards.

  10. profile image0
    Beth37posted 3 years ago

    We don't need any swine around here, you're both a couple of hams.

  11. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    I have to admit , that was beautiful !

  12. Shanna11 profile image92
    Shanna11posted 3 years ago

    I want to get through this new semester without dying.

    Also a gourmet meal because I'm tired of PB+J and cheap foods for every meal. Also to make payout again every month like I used to. sad

    Simple things.

    1. paradigmsearch profile image84
      paradigmsearchposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      OK, I'll give you the first one.

      The other two, you're on your own.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        They let you out of jail?

        Why?

        How is civilization served?

    2. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      One of the boys is sure to give you some ham... there also appears someone offering spam if you're hungry enough.

  13. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Why don't you tell us what you want, Beth?

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      At this point Id settle for dental insurance.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Lol, I would recommend finding a rich man while you still have your teeth. Rich men like teeth in a woman, apparently.

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          As long as I can keep this one in the front, Im a handsome catch for any man.

          1. Will Apse profile image87
            Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            That's the spirit.

            And you won't need makeup for Halloween!

            1. profile image0
              Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

              I have a natural beauty that only we one-toothed girls possess.

              1. Will Apse profile image87
                Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                I find the one toothed girls useful for hitching a horse to.

                1. profile image0
                  Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

                  Or you could use the ring in my nose.

                  1. Will Apse profile image87
                    Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                    A thousand elderly feminists are about to come over the hill and start beating me with good intentions. So I am retreating, pronto.

                    I reckon you are having enough fun slaying those unbelievers on the other side, anyway.

  14. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Look, what I just found.  This is King Richard the Third (diagrammatically, anyway), They dug him up out of a parking lot in Leicester that I used regularly when I lived nearby.

    http://wpmedia.news.nationalpost.com/2013/02/na0206_kingrichardskeleton940.jpg?w=620&h=2331

    Why I am sending this? He's single and for a woman with one tooth, I reckon he's attainable. He also comes from a really good family!

    They would probably give you Cornwall (sort of Florida in a bottle).

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I usually like em with flesh on em, but since he was a king... I can bend. Apparently so could he.

  15. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Well, seems to have got rid of the Farsider, so a job well done. Tonight...

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I think he fell in a pit. I guess I am obliged to pull him out.

      "Then he asked them, "If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?"" Luke 14:5

      Although today's not the Sabbath so I s'pose he can wait.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        In my experience, you need to learn to completely ignore certain posters. Make a list in your head. Never read their posts.

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          I think that is wise. Thank you Will. smile

  16. LeanMan profile image81
    LeanManposted 3 years ago

    I want dry trousers... just nipped out for lunch and got caught in a downpour on the way back into the office.. my trousers are soaked right through.... I will now have to sit here all afternoon in soggy jeans..

    1. Will Apse profile image87
      Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Actually, dry trousers are remarkably important. Especially for the older gentleman.

      I think we should make a core list of wants.

      Starting with:
      Dry trousers
      Ham
      A tooth of ones own
      A bottle of anything
      Semester survival
      Gore buckets

      1. LeanMan profile image81
        LeanManposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        You must have a towel!
        Never get caught without it - have you never read the "hitch hikers guide to the galaxy"??

  17. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Core list of wants.

    Dry trousers
    Ham
    A tooth of ones own
    A bottle of anything
    Semester survival
    Gore buckets
    A towel (plus a copy of the hitchhiker's guide so you know what to do with it)

  18. ahorseback profile image47
    ahorsebackposted 3 years ago

    OMG , don't forget your leathermen!

  19. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Core list of wants.

    Dry trousers
    Ham
    A tooth of ones own
    A bottle of anything
    Semester survival
    Gore buckets
    A towel (plus a copy of the Hitchhiker's guide so you know what to do with it)
    Any kind of multi-tool device that is sharp and shiny (or possibly one of the Village People)

    This is turning into a nice Xmas Gifts List.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      If you both have your own hams, there will be no need for gore buckets. Let's not make our burden to great to bear. Although if we have strong stomachs, we could carry the hams in the gore buckets. I suppose we should add to the list: strong stomachs... and chocolate... and maybe a new job.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Given how bottomless the pit of human desire is, I think I will only update that list daily from now on.

        So a new job....

        Has there been any storming out yet?

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Im not a stormer. I did apply for a new job... so just kind of a drizzle.

          1. Will Apse profile image87
            Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Lol. Well, at least you are employable. No one in their right mind would hire me. I have to make my own occupations, and it gets harder as I get older.

            1. profile image0
              Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

              *avoids obvious joke*
              Im sure you are quite employable... You're so smart I can barely understand you, therefore, you are of great value.

              1. Will Apse profile image87
                Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                That's so kind of you to say that. Being incomprehensible has always been an ambition.

                1. profile image0
                  Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

                  What?

  20. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Have you ever watched Justified, by the way? Is that set in your corner of the world?

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Ive seen every show in my corner of the world and that isn't one of them. You made it up.

  21. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    I'm pretty sure you share a mountain range.

    http://jimmystarshow.com/wp-content/uploads/justified-e1349134760128.jpg

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      He's a tall drink of water isn't he? My expert observational skills tell me that show airs on FX, which is cable, which I do not get on account of the fact that I use an antennae cause it's free... and although it's the only antennae still being used in modern society within a 50 mile radius of my home, it still does not pick up the FX channel. I do however have Netflix and when it comes to Netflix, I will watch it. You would probably enjoy House of Cards and Madmen. Give those a shot if you can.

  22. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    I was going to ask you if had any kind of resemblance to real life before I got it, but I got it anyway.

    It was the Elmore Leonard connection. Couldn't resist it.

    Going to add the complete works of Elmore Leonard to the list...

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      How difficult do you think it is to go thru life with the name Elmore?

  23. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Core list of wants.

    Dry trousers
    Ham
    Gore buckets
    A towel (plus a copy of the Hitchhiker's guide so you know what to do with it)
    Any kind of multi-tool device that is sharp and shiny (or possibly one of the Village People)
    A tooth of ones own
    A bottle of anything
    Semester survival
    A job
    Some traffic
    The complete works of Elmore Leonard

  24. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    I think Maurice would be kinder.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I don't know any Maurices, but then I don't live in Italy.

  25. 2uesday profile image85
    2uesdayposted 3 years ago

    I want to move this post above the spam.

  26. paradigmsearch profile image84
    paradigmsearchposted 3 years ago

    I want things to keep going in the direction things are going for me.

  27. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Now you want to be everyone's Mom, Beth. Though, I must admit, I am feeling an urge to knit him a scarf myself.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Everyone thinks Im their mom. It's a curse.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        I will put that on the list.

        Be alluring bombshell with brains, a subtle sensibility and rib cracking one liners.

        Might make that one optional.

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          I think the one tooth thing took me out of the running.

  28. Will Apse profile image87
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    Good heavens, forget the tooth. Try a make over. Or a wild Saturday night rampage.

    These things cheer the heart.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Surely you are on the end of a rampage now. It's the only reason I can imagine why you're up before the sun.

      1. Will Apse profile image87
        Will Apseposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        It is 13.15 where I am.

        There is a minor storm moving in from the Andaman Sea, as usual. Soon I will head off for the beach to get my daily sun burn.

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          13.5... is that military time, meaning 1:50? I thought you were 6 hours ahead of me.

  29. cheaptrick profile image74
    cheaptrickposted 3 years ago

    I want world peace,brotherly love,and justice for all...but I'll settle for a bottle of Jack,a hot blond,and some Pink Floyd.

    1. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I don't have any booze or Pink Floyd, but one out of three aint bad.

      http://s3.hubimg.com/u/8359978_f248.jpg

 
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