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What would happen if they hired cats?

  1. 0
    JRoberts11posted 2 years ago

    If HubPages hired all cats to replace the human workers. Would that sort of move improve ratings? The site would undoubtedly suffer in productive things. Cat nip adds would run all over the place, and things would be in a bit of disorder.
    However, Cats are fun and loveable. The logic goes that people would be able to easily love the cats that were in charge. Only serious consideration please.

    1. NateB11 profile image90
      NateB11posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I know a cat that's looking for a job right now, so, yeah, I like the idea. He's Siamese though. Hard for Siamese Cats to get a job in this field. Maybe this is his chance. He'll be very happy, I can tell you that. Yes, I'm groggy right now, just woke up.

    2. 0
      MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Hmm, I'm going to have to frown upon it. I just don't think I could take all of the napping, sudden and random acts of bathing oneself in public, clawing, shedding, snobbery, demanding, Devil-may-care attitudes busting loose all at once up in here! But then again and on second thought, we could control them all...slip them a bit of nip and a bowl of milk...when the cat's away....smile

      1. TrollyMcTroller profile image60
        TrollyMcTrollerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        I just cant stop thinking of the potential popularity. Its more news than china landing on the moon. Cats, run HubPages. Just imagine that on the headlines.

  2. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    Why did you get banned?

    1. FatFreddysCat profile image93
      FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Why are you asking someone who's banned why they got banned? It's not like they'll be able to answer you. smile

      Just sayin'.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        A cat and a dog.

        1. FatFreddysCat profile image93
          FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          a cat and a dog walk into a bar...

          ... I need a punch line. I got nothin'.

          1. 0
            Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

            the dog says, "what's a nice cat like you doing in a place like this?"
            the cat says, "Meow." (Cat's can't talk.)

            1. Muttface profile image91
              Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              Hee hee. "Meow." That's a good one. Got any more? It is Friday after all...

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                I racked my brain for that one.

            2. Marcy Goodfleisch profile image92
              Marcy Goodfleischposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              How about if the cat responds:  "You're barking up the wrong tree" ???

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Believe it or not, I thought of that one.

      2. Muttface profile image91
        Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Thought someone had witnessed an incident would step and explain.

    2. TrollyMcTroller profile image60
      TrollyMcTrollerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I got banned because HP has no sense of humor. I also got banned because Mark Ewbie cries a lot. I am sending him tissues for X mas.

  3. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago

    Not bad.

    1. Will Apse profile image89
      Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      There is a bong and a pimple in the sand pit.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Google, aisle 4.

      2. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        According to google, a bong and a pimple stands for ... a bong... and a pimple.

  4. Lisa HW profile image84
    Lisa HWposted 2 years ago

    Banned OP or not, I'm replying here....


    I'm not sure that hiring all cats as staff would do much for the site, but I sure think that requiring that all Hubs be on the subject of cats - with lots and lots of pictures added to those Hubs - might mean a tremendous increase in traffic to the site.   smile   I don't understand why HP hasn't gone with the whole "all-cats-all-the-time" school-of-Hubbing yet.   Cat pictures get lots of traffic.  Imagine what cat pictures with at least a thousand words could do!

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      So you're saying you like cats?

      1. Lisa HW profile image84
        Lisa HWposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Well, I do like cats (and also dogs), but I'm really saying that it sure seems that a lot on people who use the Internet really LOVE cats.    smile

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          You are not whistling Dixie.

          1. Lisa HW profile image84
            Lisa HWposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            Of course, if we really want to become Hub-millionaires we need to include cat videos (preferably funny ones, although adorable ones might do too) with our cat-Hubs.  Oh...  and the must-have poll on, say, "Do you have a cat?" and "Have you ever had a cat?".

            1. Muttface profile image91
              Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              Must find myself a cat. This sounds lucrative.

              1. Zabbella profile image76
                Zabbellaposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Goodness...I have two kitties...if only I had known...ah the possibilities!

            2. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I don't have a cat. Once, as a junior in high school, I was forced to dissect a cat. I fought it tooth and nail... (or hammer and... something Will said... Can't remember.) Anyway, they actually brought my mom in and told her I was going to have to do it or get a zero in the class. I was so upset, I just forced myself into "go-mode." I skinned it, and instead of cutting out it's organs, I just pulled them out.... I don't like dead things and I felt like some kind of monster ripping out the parts of something that was once living. Horrid. And I didn't really like cats before that incident. Whenever I see a cat, I think, "I know what you look like on the inside."

              1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
                DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Ugh, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  I never had a cat as a kid, though I always wanted one.  I love animals, and would refuse to do that, period.  I'd take the damned zero!
                I now have 7 cats, and I love them all immensely.  I cannot imagine having to disrespect their mortal remains in that fashion after they pass.  I had trouble enough when the vet autopsied one who died of a mystery illness--I couldn't bear to take her out of the box the vet put her in, even though I wanted to put her to rest in her nice, favorite little bed...I didn't want to see that incision line on her belly...ended up just putting the box on the bed.   :-(

                1. 0
                  Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  You are so sweet. I will give you my principal's name and you can go tell him what a horrible person he was... and my biology teacher, whom I called Mr. Biology... he was the instigator. You can give them both what for.

                  I'm sorry about you cat. sad

  5. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    The OP looked like such a cute little monkey, wonder what he did to get banned.
    I completely agree with you about the cat hubs. We could get Will to dress up as a grumpy cat, take pictures and videos of him. He'd be the star of the internet!

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I hated the OP's pic. The minute I saw it yesterday, I knew it was a troll. They love those freaky pics that make your stomach churn and eyes burn simultaneously.

      If there's one thing I've learned about Will... dignity is meaningless to him. I think he would love it if you dressed him up as a grumpy cat. He's already wearing half that costume.

      1. Muttface profile image91
        Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Oh! I just discovered the identity of the monkey. It was our old friend Epsonoko.

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Yeah, I figured... it usually takes ppl 2 days to target me and it only took the monkey about 1 minute. How did you figure that out?

          1. Muttface profile image91
            Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            I had a nosey on the Poisonous Clique page.

            1. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I was able to decipher most of that, but what is a poisonous clique page?

              1. TrollyMcTroller profile image60
                TrollyMcTrollerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                so beth, quick question. Is it trolling to create an entire forum thread devoted to a person? I am just asking I am not saying that is what you did now about 4 times.

                1. 0
                  Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  I don't think so.

                  1. TrollyMcTroller profile image60
                    TrollyMcTrollerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                    I was just asking. Is it so strange that I just keep coming back all the time. I did say I would never vanish for ever. To be fair.

    2. Will Apse profile image89
      Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Actually, this cat is slightly under the weather today. It wants to curl up and watch a very, very slow-paced documentary on the Victorian way of plowing a field.

      Yes, that sleepy, lol.

      I want it to involve a horse called Horace.

      They might have something on YouTube.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        lol... that's just so sad.

      2. Muttface profile image91
        Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Horace the grumpy, but dignified cat. Likes to plough fields and enjoys period drama.

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          haha, I just read that.

  6. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    It is a hub written by Randy Goodwin. Because he is banned from the forums he has a mini forum going on in the comments section. That's where E likes to hang out.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Oooooh.... *that's what Will is always talking about. I wondered! Huh.

  7. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    They force you to dissect household pests in high school?
    Jeeze, that's a bit extreme.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I KNOW! I thought so too. (I know you meant pets. lol)

      1. Muttface profile image91
        Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Ha ha ha!

  8. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    I ran over a cat last year. It was on a dangerous bend in the road, so I had to keep going. Thought there was no it could have survived anyway. To my horror, I noticed the cat's fur and guts seemed to have moved to the other side of the road the next day...

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Ugh... that's a heartwarming story. Maybe you should write a hub about it. I actually did include a similar story in one of my hubs... I hit a bunny... it was so awful. sad

  9. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    You killed a bunny? I hope it wasn't a household pest?

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Why did you say it like that? It's not like I put a knife to its throat or poisoned him daily until his organs all shut down. That would be cruel. I just hit him with my car. The truth is, I never saw him. I heard something and looked in my rear view mirror and he was spinning round and round. I was so upset I cried. He jumped under my back tires, what could I do? He was suicidal.

  10. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    Poor Bambi...

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Thumper.

      Thumper hit my bumper. sad

  11. SmartAndFun profile image92
    SmartAndFunposted 2 years ago

    http://s1.hubimg.com/u/8575824_f248.jpg

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      It's weird how many ppl on this thread have an animal in their name or pic.

      1. SmartAndFun profile image92
        SmartAndFunposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        I have never owned a cat, but I sure do love mah pups! My avatar is one of them.

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          How many do you have?

          1. SmartAndFun profile image92
            SmartAndFunposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            Just two. You? Pets?

            1. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              We had two dogs. One of them probably saved my life... I loved that dog, but someone stole her. So now we just have one. Half basset, half beagle. We got him from an adoptive shelter or whatever they call them.

              1. SmartAndFun profile image92
                SmartAndFunposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Ugh. Dog nappers. Pretty darn low. Scum, in fact.

                I'm sorry. sad

                1. 0
                  Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  Aw, thanks. She was a pretty dog.

    2. quicksand profile image84
      quicksandposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      MajestiCat! - smile

  12. Zabbella profile image76
    Zabbellaposted 2 years ago

    I now have two kitties, and one dog. 
    If they hired cats:
    1) there would be less meetings   
    2) there would be many, many breaks
    3) clearly an exercise room is in order
    4) discussions  would be needing a referee
    5) the average working day would BEGIN at 4am-9am then  resume after nap time

  13. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago

    If they hired an all cat staff, I would feel sorry for whoever had to change all those litter boxes.

    1. Muttface profile image91
      Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      I once lived in a house with an idiot. She had a family of cats in the house too, all untrained. I think she wanted to sell them or something. But anyway, these cats used the whole house as a litter tray.
      I used to walk into them at night going to the bathroom. We used to find stinking turds in the shower, hidden behind the sofa (in various stages of decomposition) and on the handles of the door (don't ask, it's a long story). She never once picked up any of them. The house had a special scent.
      I moved out when she brought back 4 puppies and 2 adult dogs.

      1. 0
        MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Oh dear me. OH. DEAR. ME! That's terrible. You were smart to split. I love animals but not THAT much! Blah!

        1. Muttface profile image91
          Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Yeah, an alcoholic couple lived in a caravan on the lawn so they were always screaming at each other at night. The house was on the police drive-by list because the disturbances were so common. It wasn't in a rough part of town or anything, it's just that all the people who lived there were horribly dysfunctional. 
          The woman who had the cats still didn't even know my name after 2 months of living there and speaking to her on a daily basis. I heard she got fed up with the dogs and started trying to give them away to children without consulting their parents. She probably abandoned them in the end.

          1. 0
            Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

            She couldn't remember Muttface?

            1. Zabbella profile image76
              Zabbellaposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I was thinking the same thing!!!

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                wink

  14. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    Where did they get the moggie anyway? Presumably if everyone had to wrench the innards out of the cat to pass biology, that means a fair few cats have contributed to science in your home town!

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Im sure they were all found already dead, soaked in formaldehyde. Nothing skeevy going on there.

      1. Will Apse profile image89
        Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        I find it hard to believe that any school would expect you to dissect a cat! I studied Life Sciences at college and the worst thing I had to do was vivisect a cockroach.

        I cut off its legs so that it could not run away. Then poked around its still beating heart. Then ripped out its intestines, turned them inside out and watched as they transported sugar from one side of the gut wall to the other.

        It was a fine preparation for these forums, actually, when I think about it.

        But cutting up cats? Was this done in a graveyard at night, by any chance?

        1. 0
          MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          It's fairly common. Frogs, baby sharks, baby pigs, worms. My daughter dissects cats but in college not high school.

          1. Will Apse profile image89
            Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            Just shows what wimps we Europeans are.

            I was shocked when I discovered the cute rat I had trained in a Skinner Box was destined to die because suddenly it knew too much.

            1. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I don't think that really happened... I think you're recalling, "Flowers for Algernon."

              1. Will Apse profile image89
                Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                We never talk about my crush on Algernon.

                1. 0
                  Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  lol. Weirdo.

        2. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          lol... I don't know which was worse, the smell of formaldehyde or the extremely stiff bodies laying on our tables. Skinning a cat is what serial killers do before they're ready for the big time. I was only 16 and I'm still not over it.

          1. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
            Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            They made us do that in high school Biology, too!  As an animal lover, I really didn't want to dissect a cat ...  I didn't learn anything from the process, and I (too) am still not over it.  The worst part is thinking about how they were all delivered in a freezer truck, en masse:

            Where were they getting all of these poor dead cats??? sad

            1. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I don't know if this is true or not, but apparently they had willed their bodies to science in the event of their demise.

            2. 0
              MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              They get them from shelters after they've been put down. When they do not get adopted after so long, they put them down and donate them to schools and colleges for study. Sorry to butt in, it's rare I ever know the answer to anything so I got excited. Pardon me.

              1. Muttface profile image91
                Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Hark! The mystery has been solved!

              2. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
                Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                So sad! When I lived in San Antonio, TX, the city had begun an initiative called "SNAP," the Spay-Neuter Assistance Program
                (http://goo.gl/NzK5MW) in order to reduce the number of strays from generation to generation, in the hopes that the city could mandate "no-kill" shelters in the near future.  I think that's a great idea, and I wish more cities would jump on the bandwagon.

                1. 0
                  MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  That is a great idea. I bet those type programs are a tremendous help. Indeed, it is sad when nothing can be done other than putting them down due to overpopulation. Poor things. I take in strays fairly often. I've kept several for pets of my own and others I have given away after getting them healthy and spay/neutering them. It's not much really but I can't stand to see them sick or hungry.

            3. Muttface profile image91
              Muttfaceposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              Hmmm... If I had a beard I would stroke it in a suspicious manner.
              There must be something sinister involved in this...

        3. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
          Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Take it easy on cockroaches, Will — it won't be long before they're running the show! (Apparently, they also have long memories.)

          "All things, great and small" (i.e., are deserving of respect) --James Herriot

  15. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago

    Thankfully the only things we had to dissect in high school were worms and crickets. I thought both of those were pretty gross anyway so I had no problems cutting into them.

    The girl at the lab table behind me bolted out into the hallway and lost her lunch during the worm dissection, though, which caused quite a sensation.

    1. Will Apse profile image89
      Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      That is why girls are great.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        And that's the only reason.

  16. 0
    Beth37posted 2 years ago

    Why is everyone talking about dead cats. It is my birthday today! I know you've all planned a surprise party for me, I just can't seem to locate any of you.

    1. Will Apse profile image89
      Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Happy Birthday Beth!

      You can have a scary rock now. Or a Bobble hat with a cat on it later.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        A scary rock please.

        If you were on FB you could have written on my wall like a proper friend.

        1. Will Apse profile image89
          Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          I lost the rock. And I lost the cat.

          So I did a Youbie
          http://s1.hubimg.com/u/8581780_f520.jpg

          You can wear it to your daughter's school!

          1. 0
            Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

            Aw, did you know they had crazy hat day? Is that why you did that? You are far too kind to the likes of me. I will wear it proudly, with my finest clothes. Thank you. smile

            1. Will Apse profile image89
              Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              lol. Grace under pressure.

              But what will you really do today?

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                I will try to stay warm for the better part of the morning. I am trying to write my book b/c it is my day off. I am answering msg's on my Fb wall for my birthday. Most were solicited by me 'cause I do what I gotta do. Then I will do dishes and other household chores. Next, pick my daughter up at school, go to my son's basketball game and pick up a check they are holding for me at my former job. I was going to make a very nice dinner, but I forgot about my son's game so we may have to eat out. As you can see, the highlight of my day is getting the bday wishes on my FB wall.

                1. Will Apse profile image89
                  Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  You are really pretty good at the guilt thing aren't you?

                  1. 0
                    Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                    I don't know what you're talking about. I just know when you don't show up, I feel deeply lonely. But don't let that bother you! I can always go back to drinking!

    2. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
      Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Sorry!  Happy birthday, Miss Beth! wink

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Please just call me Beth or I will begin to feel like Jessica Tandy. lol
        Thank you! smile

        1. Earl Noah Bernsby profile image87
          Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Lol, ok.

    3. 0
      MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Well the OP was about cats, in a round about way, and then the convo went in the direction of someone saying they had to dissect a cat which led to the dead cat topics. Sorry for my part in it, back to the topic of your birthday, I guess.

      1. 0
        Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Im not going to explain the difference between literal and joke on my birfday.

        1. 0
          MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

          No need to have to explain it to me at all. Is this you trying to be snarky or just rude? I can't tell.

          1. 0
            Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

            Well you were doing that whole thing ppl do when they're trying to say something kind of hurtful, but they pretend instead that they've been wounded.

            "Sorry for my part in it, back to the topic of your birthday, I guess." You could hear the Debbie Downer music in the background. This is a thread started by a troll. It has zero meaning in the scheme of things. If we are not free to chat freely here, than I am moving to Russia (pre-cold war state, as it is probably a lovely place now.) Either way, it's my 22nd birthday and I don't want to play this game today.

            1. Will Apse profile image89
              Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              You will be twelve in an hour, lol.

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Then I will finally look my age.

                1. Will Apse profile image89
                  Will Apseposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  I love the Dutch Auction approach to ageing. Next birthday I will be a chrysalis.

                  1. 0
                    Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                    So they go backwards? Funny. Do you just sit around googling all day to appear incredibly smart or do you really just know way too much stuff? Either way, I will hang around you until you can stand me no more and surely some of your knowledge will rub off.

            2. 0
              MysticMoonlightposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              I was not trying to be hurtful in any way. I was pointing out that there was an OP about cats and then you made it about you, clearly. I do/did not know the original poster or their reputation here. What should knowing them matter as long as the topic is being discussed, at least in a relative way?

              I'll leave you to the Beth show.

              Have a great day smile

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                No, not trying to be hurtful at all, obviously.

  17. Muttface profile image91
    Muttfaceposted 2 years ago

    I know! Incredible isn't it?!

  18. WriterJanis profile image80
    WriterJanisposted 2 years ago

    Happy birthday Beth from my house full of cats and me.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Aw, aren't you on top of things! I feel bad that in order for you to have known that, you had to read thru this thread. sad
      Well thank you just the same!

  19. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago

    Considering that stats/earnings haven't been updated in nearly 24 hours now, maybe they've already hired cats... and they're all taking an extra long catnap.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      That's what modern science would have you believe... but have you checked their pulse?

  20. pocono foothills profile image84
    pocono foothillsposted 2 years ago

    Whether or not things would be better or worse, depends on whether they would hire cool cats, alley cats, or just plain junk-yard cats (Oh, wait...that's junk-yard dogs...NEVERMIND!!!!)

  21. Will Apse profile image89
    Will Apseposted 2 years ago

    Leave the unkind ones alone today, Beth! And have a good birthday.

    I have to go unfortunately.

    I found the cat by the way. Pin it to the bobble!

    http://www.luciecampbell.com/graphics/jewellery/Sapphire-Diamond-Brooch-Platinum-Diamond-Sapphire-Cat_881-029.jpg

    I could only get platinum. Hope that is OK.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      It's actually very pretty... even if it is a cat.
      Have a good "night." smile

 
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