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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Comic Book Writer Gregg Hurwitz

  1. dreamaserve profile image70
    dreamaserveposted 2 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Comic Book Writer Gregg Hurwitz. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Millionaire Tips profile image87
      Millionaire Tipsposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Hello. 

      I would recommend that first of all, you break your text into different capsules, and provide a subtitle for each section.  That makes it much easier to read in manageable chunks.

      My second recommendation is that you review the hub for grammar.  You have run on sentences. It seems like you took some choppy sentences and then put them together with semicolons.  I suggest you try to find a way to write the sentences without any semicolons at all. 

      For example, the first few lines of the hub read: "Greg Hurwitz was born in 1973; near San Francisco, California, America, his Grandfather and Father were Physicians. His sister also became a Physician when she was older; Hurwitz had no intention of following in his Grandfather’s footsteps."
      I would change them to read:
      Greg Hurwitz was born in 1973 near San Francisco, California. Both his grandfather and father were physicians. His sister also became a physician when she was older. Even though he came from a medical family,  Hurwitz had no intention of following in their footsteps.

      That's all I read, but instead of diving into his birth and background, I would bring up the important question first. Who is he and why would I care about him? Yes, I know it's in the title, but I would bring up the comic books first, and then talk about the creator.

      1. dreamaserve profile image70
        dreamaserveposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks

  2. colorfulone profile image87
    colorfuloneposted 2 years ago

    I looked at a couple other of your hubs, and would suggest breaking up some of the text in them also. Having a space between paragraphs would help make your articles easier to read. Like a page in a book.

    1. dreamaserve profile image70
      dreamaserveposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks

 
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