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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Dry Nights - Help With Bed Wetting.

  1. Elsie Hagley profile image83
    Elsie Hagleyposted 16 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Dry Nights - Help With Bed Wetting.. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. MariaMontgomery profile image84
      MariaMontgomeryposted 16 months ago in reply to this

      I'm not sure if you wanted an editor or a proofreader. I am both, as I have been editing documents, mainly grants and contracts) for years. I copied & pasted your intro section into Word, then crossed out some words, and put my suggestions and notes in red. Unfortunately, HP stripped all that. So I simply removed the strikeouts, and used my suggestions. If you want to see it in Word, send me a private message on Facebook, and I will give you my e-mail address. Of course, you can take or leave my suggestions -- I will not be offended. I hope you aren't either.

      Some things I noticed:
      Except in newspapers, there is no such thing as a one-sentence paragraph. For that reason, I combined those in your intro paragraph. In the next section I did not -- I decided you could handle that one.

      When using a singular noun, (child) be sure to use a singular pronoun (he or she). If you prefer to use "they", simply change "child" to "children".

      In the second paragraph below, it says "these issues" but the only issue presented so far is bed-wetting. In the next sentence, more issues are presented:  sickness and stomach problems. Following that sentence, it is OK to refer to issues (plural), so you might want to swap the order of those two sentences. Below, I rearranged the wording rather than the sentences.

      "Help For Dry Nights
      Dry nights for children can be a very trying time, and the younger your child, the more likely he or she will wet the bed.  About 15% of children still wet the bed at age seven. By age 10, those figures have dropped to 3% of boys and 2% of girls. This problem can continue on into the teen years, so it is important that parents have good information at hand to help children deal with it.

      Families often feel isolated and under pressure because of the stress caused by this issue and others such as sickness and stomach problems, as well as the stigma that surrounds them. Bed soaker sheets are a helpful product which provides a simple solution whether the sufferer is a child or adult. Bed-wetting sheets toilet training mattress protector which can save a lot of washing when those accidents happen."

      Regarding commas:
      1. Try reading your text aloud. Anywhere that you would normally pause, insert a comma.
      2. In a series of nouns, (for example, car, book, and cookie) there should be a comma after all nouns that precede the word "and" EXCEPT when the last two are a pair, or are commonly thought of together, such as "shoes and socks". (That's the best example I can come up with right now).

      I hope you find this to be helpful. Good luck with your hub, my friend.

      1. Elsie Hagley profile image83
        Elsie Hagleyposted 16 months ago in reply to this

        Thanks Maria for your help I will try and sort it out following your advice.
        I'm never offended when someone helps me be a better writer.
        Happy days writing.smile

        1. MariaMontgomery profile image84
          MariaMontgomeryposted 16 months ago in reply to this

          You are very welcome. I saved your intro paragraph that I worked on, in case you wanted to see it. I will go ahead and delete it now. BTW, I hope you are feeling much, much better by now.