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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Following the path of rise

  1. Kritee Mahanti profile image79
    Kritee Mahantiposted 14 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Following the path of rise (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

  2. Fiction Teller profile image59
    Fiction Tellerposted 14 months ago

    Hi Kritee,

    I'm a big confused by the hub, which needs to be synthesized more in order not to appear meandering to an online audience. A good, informative introduction at the beginning and a clear summary at the bottom would help.

    My confusion is also partly because of the title. The rather poetic-sounding title would work in a print book of essays. And yes, it is in the essays category, so the search engines know it's an essay. But your reader won't really have any idea what to expect. And your former title in the previous version was also too general.

    Poetic and general titles aren't appropriate for the web. Try something that really helps your reader know what to expect. Something on the order of "Gravity as a Metaphor for Life" or "A Scientist Talks About the Philosophy of 'Rise'"

    Incidentally, have you ever read Metaphors We Live By by Lakoff & Johnson? I think you'd like it. wink

    1. ChristinS profile image94
      ChristinSposted 14 months ago in reply to this

      I agree completely with this assessment.  It was not clear to me immediately what the message of your hub was and that won't work for online writing.  When you write for a platform like this you need to answer a question your reader has, solve a problem, or entertain them.  This hub did not do any of those things and was more a personal musing - which is fine, but you need to clearly label it as such and explain the purpose immediately in the first paragraph.

  3. Chriswillman90 profile image91
    Chriswillman90posted 14 months ago

    At least it was formatted nicely and it did almost read like an episodic poem of some sort, which could be interesting if the focus was a lot stronger.