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Looking for constructive criticism

  1. Pico Triano profile image85
    Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago

    I write decent fiction and real life stories. I'm lousy at getting attention for my articles here on HubPages. I am studying to try and do better. My latest article is in reality is a self-study, exercise/implement-what-I've-learned project. I would like feedback on it. Here is the link: http://picotriano.hubpages.com/hub/How- … dy-Courses

    1. FatBoyThin profile image91
      FatBoyThinposted 21 months ago in reply to this

      This is a nice Hub but you could improve it by having more interesting formatting, such as using subtitles, bullet points, quotes etc. Also, your first line has the comma in the wrong place - usually I would stop reading at this point, but as you don't make this mistake again I assume it's just one of those things.

      Also, your Hub is quite short - less than 800 words. You really need to be looking at more than 1100 to get featured. You might try including a poll relating to how other people study, or what there preferred methods are.

      Would be nice to include some original photos too (ie your own) to lend some authenticity to the whole thing.

      Hope that helps.

      1. Pico Triano profile image85
        Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago in reply to this

        The comma is fixed. I'm surprised Grammarly didn't catch that. It is already featured by the way. Mine always are within a few hours usually.

        Will take your suggestions into account. Some of them had crossed my mind.

    2. relache profile image89
      relacheposted 21 months ago in reply to this

      How are all of us benefitting from watching you go through your learning process?  If you can identify that angle, and develop it, your Hub might draw traffic.  As is, I doubt readers will find it useful, helpful or interesting to them.

      1. Pico Triano profile image85
        Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago in reply to this

        Will keep that in mind as I revisit this article in the future.

    3. Pico Triano profile image85
      Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago in reply to this

      Comments so far are appreciated. Thank you. Will give me some areas to work on.

  2. Vagabond Laborer profile image86
    Vagabond Laborerposted 21 months ago

    Hi Pico Triano,

    I noticed that your writing has a simple, direct approach and that sometimes you use phrases rather than complete sentences. 

    If you're looking for self-marketing ideas, I thought you could say something like, "Simple, Direct Advice from a Simple, Direct Man" (no offense intended--the photo of you in a cowboy shirt sort of evokes this image).  There are many people who prefer shorter sentences and your writing style. Though I'm no marketing expert, I thought that this might help.

    FatBoyThin, good advice.

    Good Luck!

    Vagabond Laborer

    1. Pico Triano profile image85
      Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago in reply to this

      Thanks, I will work with what I've got.

  3. profile image60
    JackieO101posted 21 months ago

    I think your article is great! Good for you. I am also a published author and doesn't it feel wonderful? My pointers would be...find a more engaging first sentence, add a little enthusiasm to the first paragraph, & a more attractive first picture. Otherwise, after the first paragraph...it was a perfect read for me. You asked questions. Maybe throw a question in the first paragraph midway..so it catches right away. Engaging the reader is very key. Wonderful article!

    1. Pico Triano profile image85
      Pico Trianoposted 21 months ago in reply to this

      Plan to rework this at some point in the not so distant future. Will take your recommendations into account. Great to meet another published author.

 
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