I'd like feedback on my Hub: Spirit encounter

  1. Mick Beet profile image80
    Mick Beetposted 11 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Spirit encounter (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image93
      theraggededgeposted 11 months ago in reply to this

      I'm pretty sure you have asked for advice on this one before, Mick.

      Although it is interesting, the writing is befuddled. The first sentence doesn't make sense:

      "The home which her Grandparents had lived for many years."

      Make it clear who you are writing about straight away. You can't expect readers to just accept that 'her' will be explained further along. Also, what about 'the home'? Perhaps you mean to say:

      "My wife's family still live in the same home which her grandparents farmed for many years."

      If you can get someone with good English skills to go through your writing and tweak the grammar and sentence structure, it might have a chance of getting through QAP.

      You need a photo at the beginning and a clear introduction to explain up front what the article is about. The title needs to be changed to "Spirit Encounter".

      The promotion of the Amazon book and its author are not connected to your story, so best to get rid of that section and lengthen the actual article.

  2. Mick Beet profile image80
    Mick Beetposted 11 months ago

    Thanks so much fòr helping me out