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I'd like feedback on my Hub: HOW TO GOVERN CONSTITUTIONALLY

  1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
    The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub HOW TO GOVERN CONSTITUTIONALLY (must be signed in to view). What specifically prevents it from being publishable as is?  Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image94
      theraggededgeposted 2 months ago in reply to this

      I found it unintelligible. Sorry.

      It also looks as though you have lifted the intro straight off a Wikipedia page.

      1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
        The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

        "Unintelligible" In what way?  Can you be more specific? 
        Don't be sorry, I asked for it.
        I doubt Wikipedia would write something like that since in most cases it caters to the wish of government that doesn't want the constitution to be understood by man-en-mass.

        1. theraggededge profile image94
          theraggededgeposted 2 months ago in reply to this

          This is your first sentence.

          "It must be understood that the Preamble and “Treason” (Article 3.3) are the Constitution’s law for governing the United States’ people by, they and the, rest of it is primarily to governs how the government governs the people, their duties and how to elect them."

          It is a string of words that don't make sense. The rest of the hub is similar. Here's one that caught my eye further down,

          "Because man don’t live the earth’s “Ecology” law it is necessary to also pass laws protecting children and girls’ to prevent boys and some girls from inappropriately imposing themselves on them. [Earth is a conglomeration of living entities consuming one another to maintain their and their specie’s existence with each living entity having the birthright of self-governing the Blessings of Liberty reveals in the Preamble.]"

          Here's the Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preamble_ … nstitution

          1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
            The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

            That is exactly why I said the Preamble and treason are the law of the entire document to govern We The People by.  That's why I put that in Brackets what you reposted, liberty is the right to govern one's own life so long as doing it don't impose on others in any way that prohibit their being uncharge of their own life as much as they so desire., that is, If someone choses to give the control of their life to others it is also their right allowed them by the word "liberty." 

            You sound to me like you are a part of the corrupt government enjoying the "fruit" [finical gain] the corruption provides the few which causes government to constantly talk bout classes.  Either that or you are "functionally" illiterate.

            1. Rupert Taylor profile image94
              Rupert Taylorposted 2 months ago in reply to this

              Here we go with the ad hominem attacks again. There's been a rash of this lately from people who don't like the critique of their work that they've asked for. Someone who writes "uncharge" when he means "in charge," or "finical gain" when he means "financial gain," or "bout classes" when he means "about classes," is not in a position to throw out allegations of functional illiteracy.

              For the record, I agree with theraggededge: your article cannot be understood by the average English speaker. It makes absolutely no sense. That's the honest but hard truth.

              If you now want to launch into attack on my competence and/or character have a go. It may make you feel better but it won't alter the reality that your writing is not up to par and it may get you banned from HubPages.

              1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
                The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

                The things you stated are things I'm looking for, somehow I end up with many typos I didn't see although I often read things several times before posting, sometimes I attempt to correct but Auto-Correct does it.  Explaining how I used a definition I knew to be it before there was even a "Wikipedia" isn't critiquing. 

                I suppose that is why what is called scripture are so difficult to comprehend by man in mass, wise people has such a difficult time writing for the general public to understand.  Maybe that's why the person called Jesus said "let those who have ears hear what the spirit say" because it require a level of wisdom to understand what wise man are saying.  That must also be why the constitution was never used to govern this nation by and called "a rod of iron" in the Bible. 

                Thank you Rupert Taylor for your clear explanation.

            2. theraggededge profile image94
              theraggededgeposted 2 months ago in reply to this

              And you sound to me like you need help. I live in the UK, why would I be 'part of the corrupt government'?

              'Functionally illiterate'? At least I can write a sentence that people can understand. If you didn't want honest feedback, why ask for it?

              1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
                The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

                theraggededge, In both UK and USA government is corrupt, USA may be more than UK, and certain people are living "high on the hog" because of such corruption, so you could be a part of UK's corruption.

                'Functionally illiterate' means "one uses words in sentences they have heard but doesn't actually know what the words means."  I've stop what was about to become a fight because 2 people were using different swords with the same meanings and neither one knew the meaning of either of the words.  Many people regurgitate sentences without knowing what the words' meanings are.  Whenever I ask most people what does preamble mean they do not know it means "what is intended to be accomplished" in the case of the US Constitution, what the document is supposed to accomplish.

                I ask for it because I want it.  I ask for specifics and you posted what I said.  What is the laws of earth's ecology?  It is "every life governs their own life and imposes on others only for sustaining one's own life and their specie, sex is for reproduction only, offsprings are instructed to reason all things rather than judging them and respect all life even in times of need."  Man don't live live with that understanding for the most parts but the 6 things to accomplish in the constitution, if followed, would achieve that.

                1. theraggededge profile image94
                  theraggededgeposted 2 months ago in reply to this

                  I can assure you that if I were part of the corrupt elite, I wouldn't be writing at Hubpages.

                  I've been writing for many years, I'd hardly describe myself as 'functionally illiterate'. I'd point out to you that it doesn't mean what you think it means, which is somewhat ironic. Functional illiteracy is not being able to read and write to a level to manage every day life, such as reading signs, instructions, etc. So be careful of regurgitating words you don't know the meaning of big_smile

                  I posted that random part of your hub because it is, like the rest of it, virtually unreadable. You know what you are trying to say, but your sentence construction, typos, misuse of punctuation and phraseology makes it very hard for anyone else to understand. I'm not asking you to explain what you mean; I'm suggesting that you write it so that people can comprehend it in the hub.

                  You can try running your text through Grammarly and/or the Hemingway online apps. Both are free to use.

                  1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
                    The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

                    What you described is illiteracy without the "functional" before it.  Saying "functionally" is saying they lack the comprehension of words they can pronounce or the meanings of the sentences they write or pronounce the words of.  It is like the person who took phonics and could pronounce and spell almost any word before him in any sentence but he could not tell what he had read, who was talking, what they were talking about and so forth.  I gave him instructions and in a few days he began to tell me what the newspaper was saying.  I had not observed him reading it and asked how did he know and he told me and showed me the paper as proof. 

                    In my first posting of it there were typos, I posted it before getting feedback, but in the reposting of it corrected those pointed out to me after my proof reader could comprehend what I was saying.  I deleted the first posting and reposted the proofed one.  I did look back over it and saw 2 commas that should not have been and one word missing and corrected them.

                    As for your not understanding "[Earth is a conglomeration of living entities consuming one another to maintain their and their specie’s existence with each living entity having the birthright of self-governing the Blessings of Liberty reveals in the Preamble.]," it is MOST LIKELY you don't see in my writings I uses the term "man" as the specie and not misusing it and men as a gender keeping you from comprehending its meaning.  Children is all man not in puberty, girls [producer of eggs] and boys [fertilize girls eggs] which can only be done as adults who have entered puberty.  Many terms in the English language has been prevented by redefining them may her one reason some people don't understand my speech/writings.

    2. jackclee lm profile image80
      jackclee lmposted 2 months ago in reply to this

      For one thing, don't use all capital letters in your title.
      You will also need to add at least 3 quality images to accomodate your text.
      I would also change the wordings of some sentences to make it more understandable.
      Finally, read my hub "how to create a hub and get featured".

      1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
        The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

        Thanks jackclee lm. I have read "how to create a hub and get featured" and want then featured only for the information I'm sharing, not so much for attractive looks is the main reason I don't add images. 

        I can change the as you suggests.
        What sentences wording would you change?

  2. Marisa Wright profile image93
    Marisa Wrightposted 2 months ago

    I'm afraid I have to agree.

    Try reading your Hub out loud.  You seem to be trying to create high-flown academic-sounding prose.  All you're achieving is a jumble of fancy words that don't make sense.

    1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
      The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

      Thanks Marisa Wright, I do read them out loud and make changes before posting it.  I write them in my computer's word and sounds it to myself.  Before posting them I do allow others to read it seeking feedback and make the changes they suggest.  Maybe I need to seek some others to give me feedback.

  3. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 2 months ago

    The style of writing aside, this hub is simply a rant.  It is not about what the Constitution meant to the people who wrote it, or what is currently means under the law or in the public psyche.  It is just what you want it to mean.  Which is relevant only to you. As a content writer ask yourself: who would want to read this?

    1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
      The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

      I do and have asked myself that question, psycheskinner, and the answer I get from everywhere is anyone who is fed up with corruption in government.  As a philosophy - lover of wisdom - I put what wisdom has taught me in places where others interested in it are likely to look.

  4. Will Apse profile image91
    Will Apseposted 2 months ago

    The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

    Waited a while to find a use for that quotation.

    1. The0NatureBoy profile image66
      The0NatureBoyposted 2 months ago in reply to this

      Will Apse,
      My opinion constantly changes, I don't need to wait a while to find a use for that quotation, I could never be a philosophy if I didn't know the value of changing opinions.  Just because I reveal my reasoning doesn't mean I don't change my opinion. 

      After rereading and changing things in my post yesterday I went back today and reread it and made other changes.  I am not an oak tree, so hard I break rather than bend in strong winds, I'm like a palm that bend level with the ground then stand up straight again after a hurricane although I, like palms, may loose my fruit and leaves, will grow them again.

 
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