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I'd like feedback on my Hub: 20th Century Desserts

  1. Elsie Hagley profile image82
    Elsie Hagleyposted 8 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub 20th Century Desserts. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. calculus-geometry profile image85
      calculus-geometryposted 8 weeks ago in reply to this

      Hi Elsie, the recipes look good, but you have some typos and grammatical errors.  For example, your first section is

      Yes just right for the changing seasons, as they cover, hot or cold desserts.

      In the middle twentieth century, a pudding was something that was alway's on the table for every mid-day meal, seven days a week, which was normal in those days.

      A good solid meal of meat and vegetables, followed by a pudding. In the winter it was usually a steam, boiled or baked pudding.


      This has some problems with apostrophes, commas, and a few grammar typos.  Here is a very very lightly corrected version:

      These recipes are just right for the changing seasons, as they cover hot or cold desserts. In the middle twentieth century, a pudding was something that was always on the table for every mid-day meal, seven days a week, which was normal in those days. A good solid meal was meat and vegetables, followed by a pudding. In the winter it was usually a steamed, boiled or baked pudding.

      You also don't need a line break after every sentence.

      I think if you proofread the rest of the article more carefully you will find a few more little errors and if you clean them up it should be featured.  Best of luck with it. smile

      edit: just noticed some photos are pixelated.  try to find higher resolution images.

      1. Elsie Hagley profile image82
        Elsie Hagleyposted 8 weeks ago in reply to this

        Thanks.

      2. Elsie Hagley profile image82
        Elsie Hagleyposted 8 weeks ago in reply to this

        I have edited this hub three times now and I'm still getting "spammy elements" emails.
        Could someone to honest with me and tell me if it's worth the trouble, or should I just delete it.

        It was a Squidoo lens, wrote four years ago, recipes don't look very nice like they did in Squidoo.
        Thanks for any advice.

  2. firstcookbooklady profile image80
    firstcookbookladyposted 8 weeks ago

    Links to 20th Century Dessert - Maybe the four live links you have to the outside urls are the problem. You can mention them, but I think the active click alerts the edit bot of an affiliate program, even thought it's not.

  3. Valerie Bick profile image82
    Valerie Bickposted 8 weeks ago

    Hi Elsie,

    I am new to hubpages and have published a couple of articles thus far, so I am not really sure how much I can help here, other than give a personal objective viewpoint! Kudos for getting out there to write and even more for putting yourself out there to ask for help!

    The first thing I noticed when I went to read your hub was definitely grammatical errors, which I too find myself guilty of.  I have learned in the past that combing over my work more than once and even reading it aloud can help me with my grammar and my flow.  I am by no means an expert on the subject of grammar, but I can offer suggestions.

    Examples of grammatical errors and how I would fix them are below:
    1. Cream the butter and sugar.   or if you were not going to place a period at the end of each step, you could just leave it as you have it
    2. Sift and add the flour, baking powder, and salt.
    3. Add the egg , (omit the and here as there is more than just one object) and milk then (omit the and here as you are moving onto a new procedure not creating an addition to the objects) mix.
    4. then (omit the 4 here as you already have a 4 and it appears to be a duplicate.)  Steam for 1 1/2 then (omit the hours here as it is unnecessary and repetitive and is already understood) hours to 2 hours in a buttered basin.

    I also noticed that you formatted the variations under method which is fine, however I would attempt to change the formatting here. I wouldn't use numbered steps as it appears confusing.
    You have
    "7. VARIATIONS.
    8. Raspberry Pudding. Add 1 teaspoon raspberry flavoring to creamed butter and sugar, and put a tablespoon (or desired amount) at the bottom of the basin.
    9. Or use strawberry essence and strawberry jam.
    10. Chocolate Pudding. Sift 1 tablespoon cocoa ( or desired amount), with the flour and add 1 teaspoon vanilla essence to the creamed butter and sugar. Use an extra dessertspoon milk.
    11. Coffee Pudding. Add 1 dessertspoon coffee essence (or desired amount), to creamed butter and sugar, and only 1 1/2 tablespoons milk.
    12. Spice Steamed Pudding. Add 1 dessertspoon mixed spice to sifted flour, and sprinkle a tablespoon of chopped walnuts over the bottom of the basin."

    Since you are showing the reader variations, I would remove the Variations from the numbered list completely and try formatting similar to something like this:
    VARIATIONS
    Raspberry Pudding Add 1 teaspoon of  raspberry flavoring to creamed butter and sugar, and put use 1 instead of a to stay consistent with formatting here  tablespoon (or desired amount) at the bottom of the basin.
    Chocolate Pudding Sift 1 tablespoon of[/c]cocoa (or desired amount), with the flour and add 1 teaspoon [color=#ff0000]of vanilla essence to the creamed butter and sugar. Use an extra dessert-spoon of milk.

    I have no idea as a reader what you are trying to tell me about the strawberry essence or jam. Is this another variety, perhaps of Strawberry Pudding similar to the Raspberry.  This should probably be elaborated on.

    Also in your Ingredients lists remember to stay consist with your formatting as well. If you are writing out the words for Tablespoon and teaspoon, than ounces should be written out as well.

    I hope this helps a little and maybe gets you to look at other parts of your article and see where you have similar grammatical errors or issues.  If you have any questions please let me know.  You have definitely given me ideas about how to implement my recipes with Hubpages, and you have some really nice capsules that embellish your hubpage, including some useful and relevant videos.

    Valerie Bick

 
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