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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Facts That May Shock Liberals

  1. The Old Guard profile image81
    The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Facts That May Shock Liberals. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. RTalloni profile image87
      RTalloniposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Start by studying up on using capitalization in titles. Single sentences are not paragraphs.

    2. lions44 profile image94
      lions44posted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Overall, you need to organize it better.  It comes across like a stream of consciousness, instead of a detailed list. Headings/Subtitles (in bold) would help.  Bold the #s on the list too. Doesn't appear to have many grammatical mistakes, but work on the formatting.

      1. The Old Guard profile image81
        The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        Thx Lions,
        Most helpful.
        I will work on it.
        Cheers

  2. Will Apse profile image90
    Will Apseposted 7 weeks ago

    That first photo is so loathsome an awful lot of people will simply hit the back button. I couldn't be bothered to read it.

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
      Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      ~ love the first photo. Keep it.  Paragraphs would be easier to read. This seems like an outline. Present it better. (btw, there are no a.b.c.'s after #2.)


      This paragraph is easier to read than single sentences. It is also easier to read since it is not infused with emotion. Writing is not talking. It is organizing your thinking. It is very visual. You almost have to think like a graphic designer. You really have to consider the viewer/reader. Your thoughts are clear. Just  p r e s e n t  them better.

      "The only ones that weren't offered a bailout for bad decisions were the taxpayers. The government told them they had made bad decisions and should "suck it up", which meant millions of foreclosures and bankruptcies. Meanwhile, the CEOs of the bailed-out banks, car companies, (and everyone else who received government dole,) made millions. Furthermore, not one banker, government official or any other bailed-out company's upper management was ever charged with a crime. Instead of letting the free market sort through the trillions in debt, the government bailed all the businesses out, and we now have almost double the debt that we had during the financial crisis of 2007/08."

      1. Will Apse profile image90
        Will Apseposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        Bad aesthetics is unforgivable, whatever your politics, lol. Also the pic is completely irrelevant. I can only imagine it was chosen to irritate.

        In fact, I have a feeling the whole page was conceived to start a fight and feed a little self-righteous indignation.

        I would recommend the TV documentary 'Braindead'. All this kind of stuff is down to space bugs eating peoples brains.

        http://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13233101.jpg

        1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
          Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

          Yay for graphics!
          PS If its a monkey being shocked, that would be even worse!

          1. Will Apse profile image90
            Will Apseposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

            I think any monkey would be shocked by such poor image selection, lol.

  3. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
    Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago

    "Government interference in the market place includes artificially high or low interest rates, getting off the gold and silver standard, flooding the market with more " fiat" money, running high deficits and "supporting" prices with subsidies. This interference affects us by making it harder to keep up with inflation. We must now earn more than the inflation rate to keep up with the lowering purchasing power of the dollar. Hence, even if you get up to a minimum wage of $15 per hour, within a few years you'll need a higher wage for a "livable" wage.

    This ____? has to do with the mass importation of goods from other countries. What used to be manufactured here is now mostly manufactured overseas. Not only do we have to deal with the government's desire for inflation, but currency rates of imported products and inflation goals of other countries, as well. This____? is caused by trade agreements such as NAFTA which encourage American companies to move manufacturing facilities to overseas locations.

    It's a vicious circle. The U.S. Government's polices that are anti American-business and its instance on inflation, cause the "purchasing value" of the dollar to go down, thus always requiring an increase in a "livable" wage". This____? does not have to do with businesses in America, it has to do with polices of the government. If the currency was sound, then the adjustments to wages would not be required. The first minimum wage was enacted in hopes of bringing the U.S. out of a depression!"

    I tried my best to construct paragraphs from your sentences. Do they make sense? Correct accordingly.
    I believe you are sincere and attempting to bring us the truth of the matter.  I would not try to "shock" anyone. We need the truth.

    "FYI For Liberals" would make a better title in my opinion.

    1. The Old Guard profile image81
      The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      Most helpful, Kathryn,
      Thanks for taking the time to respond in a positive manner.
      First time I've ever used this forum.
      I can see that there are some good people that are associated with Hubpages.
      Also a few that have the courage to be honest without the fear of sending me to a "safe  place". HAHAHAHAHA (or maybe that's the goal??)
      Thanks for the input.
      Cheers

      1. The Old Guard profile image81
        The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        Well, did some editing, put in a lot more paragraphs vs. one liners.
        Kept the photo, though.
        Thought about putting one of Curly's photos in it's place, but decided I like the orangutan.
        Thoughts?

        1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
          Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

          hey, Much better! I approve of the title too!
          Now, I want to read the whole article. Before, I did not. :
          (I like the orangutan too ... and he is safely away from the word "shock.")

          1. claptona profile image83
            claptonaposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

            Thx Kathryn
            Appreciate your time.
            Cheers

  4. Dolores Monet profile image91
    Dolores Monetposted 7 weeks ago

    If you want liberals to actually read your page and "learn" something, you are actually chasing them away with the image. You don't want to insult your intended readers right off the bat. I am sure that you realize the use of an orangatang has been used by certain people in order to offend. Why offend potential readers? You want them to stay on the page!

    1. The Old Guard profile image81
      The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

      I've listened!!
      Photo changed - though the little snarky guy in me didn't want to sad
      Thx for the input, Dolores.
      Maybe when I get a gazillion followers, I can let my snarky guy out.......
      Cheers

      1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
        Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

        ~ might as well put a comma after Liberals, in the title. smile
        Also an exclamation point couldn't hurt.

        FYI Liberals, $15 per Hour Won't Work!

        1. The Old Guard profile image81
          The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

          Thanks for catching that, Kathryn
          Cheers

          1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
            Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

            Logical photo choice. smile
            PS Are you also claptona?

            1. The Old Guard profile image81
              The Old Guardposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

              Guilty as charged.
              See I posted under the wrong handle - whoops! sad
              I figured very logical! smile
              Thanks for your help Kathryn.
              Cheers

              1. Kathryn L Hill profile image85
                Kathryn L Hillposted 7 weeks ago in reply to this

                a logical photo for logical info! Thanks, OPG/c !

 
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