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improving my hub

  1. William Ray Lee profile image81
    William Ray Leeposted 3 weeks ago

    can someone help me improve this hub to get it featured? http://hubpages.com/politics/What-immig … mmigration   I would like suggestions of things to change to be able to get it featured.

    1. lions44 profile image95
      lions44posted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

      Mr. Lee, I just read through it and here's my suggestions:

      1. Title is too long. Think like a newspaper headline writer. What catches the reader's attention.  Maybe "Immigration: My View."   "Immigration: A Different Look.."   Try putting Trump in the title, he has a lot of supporters here. smile     Something catchy. That may not be why it's not featured, but it helps.

      2. You finish a lot of sentences with prepositions.  Not the end of the world, but that does not help getting it featured.  Read through one more time and try to either change the wording or shorten the sentences.

      3.  Narrow down the topics. It goes off on tangents a little bit. Not a lot. But take one part of the issue and discuss it.  You can write another hub to cover other aspects.

      Overall, I hear HP is not fond of hubs that are overly personal. I have only heard that from others.  I don't write personal or autobiographical works, but  your first paragraph is very personal. I think it does give perspective, but maybe too much?  It also comes across something like "I'm not racist, I have lots of black friends."   That is not your intention but that is how it sounds.  It is a delicate topic and words can be interpreted differently.

      I hope it helps and I wasn't too picky.  Let me know if you need anything else.

      1. William Ray Lee profile image81
        William Ray Leeposted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

        Thank you that is very helpful!  I will follow your advice.

  2. Rupert Taylor profile image94
    Rupert Taylorposted 3 weeks ago

    The headline is too long and if shortened must be in Title Face.

    Your first paragraph shows multiple errors; corrections in brackets.

    peruvian (Peruvian) woman with whom I have four children. I work at a research laboratory ran (run) by a Chinese lady, who happens to be one of the most intelligent people that I have ever had the pleasure to meet (of meeting) in my life. In the Laboratory (laboratory) there is also a Postdoctoral Fellow (post-doctoral fellow) from China as well whom (who) is also extremely intelligent.

    Apologies for not having time to go through the whole article but that sample tells me there are many English language issues to be fixed before going on to examine the content of the article.

    1. William Ray Lee profile image81
      William Ray Leeposted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

      Thank you so much! I have never been great with grammar it is my biggest struggle, that is why I write.... to get better through practice.  Thank you for your comments and suggestions.

  3. Marisa Wright profile image93
    Marisa Wrightposted 3 weeks ago

    If you want your Hubs to get lots of readers, then you need to meet HubPages' standards.  They set a high standard of English spelling and grammar, and your Hub does not meet them.  You have a lot of mistakes. 

    One way to avoid that is to write your Hub in a word processing program like Word, with the spelling and grammar checker switched on.  Then copy and paste into HubPages.

    1. William Ray Lee profile image81
      William Ray Leeposted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

      Thank you for your comments.  I write to improve and welcome any and all comments.

 
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