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Third rewrite of this particular hub

  1. TessSchlesinger profile image92
    TessSchlesingerposted 8 months ago

    http://hubpages.com/style/Shoes-which-flatter-your-legs

    I'm hoping that I have finally got this into a better shape. Unhappily, the URL doesn't fit the title which often happens when I rewrite something.

    Please could you read through this and tell me if there are any improvements you would make.

    Many thanks.

    1. SakinaNasir53 profile image86
      SakinaNasir53posted 8 months ago in reply to this

      I liked your hub. It is very detailed and exceptionally written. You could change the title though...

  2. profile image60
    TonkAKposted 8 months ago

    It is a great topic, more people should be aware for the sake of their feet. Your text is very clean, and I am assuming you did well in your English classes but you want to fix some typos. Sorry, forgot to note where I have seen it. Also, you might want to change your title, since it's not all you are writing about. You can try being creative with it.
    "Why Buying Cheap Shoes Can Cost You" or something like that. I am sure you got other idea and it's not your final title, but just in case.
    Nevertheless, you should do more research. There are a lot more reasons why higher priced shoes are better. You've mentioned court shoes...well, what makes them different from cheaper version? If it doesn't matter, don't mention it. Talk about different material, metal plates, metal sides, and other things that make shoes more expensive. It seemed like you really know a lot about heels and arches. Maybe you could focus on that and take out all the other information. Then you could just change the name accordingly.
    It is a really good hub, though. I hope you don't give up on it and get it published. I'd love to read the final version.
    Good luck! smile

    1. TessSchlesinger profile image92
      TessSchlesingerposted 8 months ago in reply to this

      Okay thanks. I'll go check out typos. Really bad with that. English classes? Basically straight As all the way. But I was already published by the time I was 9 or 10 years old. Been writing for more than half a century, and have paid a lot of my way from income as a writer. smile

      Addendum

      How on earth do I find the typos? I'm really bad at spotting them. Are you sure that I'm just not using British spelling instead of American spelling?

      Generally, I write in word before posting to hp,but it's not always perfect. sad

  3. melbel profile image91
    melbelposted 8 months ago

    I'd get rid of (...) in the title. Just a personal preference, really.

 
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