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I'd like feedback on my Hub: My Wife complains about everything and I still Love

  1. Ajsdairy profile image59
    Ajsdairyposted 2 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub My Wife complains about everything and I still Love her (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

  2. Rubidium profile image74
    Rubidiumposted 2 weeks ago

    too many breaks is the problem

  3. Ajsdairy profile image59
    Ajsdairyposted 2 weeks ago

    @rubidium what kind of breaks, can you be specific please.

  4. Rubidium profile image74
    Rubidiumposted 2 weeks ago

    some of your paragraphs are too short, amplify it - give it a brief structure.

  5. mattforte profile image93
    mattforteposted 2 weeks ago

    You need to capitalize every instance of "I". The title needs some work.

  6. theraggededge profile image95
    theraggededgeposted 2 weeks ago

    Your paragraphs are fine. However, the article is full of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Read it out loud and you'll be able to spot many of them.

    Also try pasting the text into Grammarly and then Hemingway (free apps on the web) to help you correct and tighten up the writing.

    Your title and sub-headings should be in title case. Google 'title case' to find out how to do it.

    Watch out for missing question marks; "Living with someone who constantly complains is of course an issue, don't you agree with that."

    "Living with someone who constantly complains is an issue, don't you agree with that?"

    "In the process of grooming and my kids growing from toddler to kindergarten, they kids shared some valuable lessons with us especially me."

    Be careful with 'grooming' mentioned in the same sentence as children. It means something completely different. Read that sentence, can you see where the errors are? Also, when writing about small people, use the word, 'children' and 'child'. Kids is okay now and then, but constant use looks ugly.

    "As my children grew from toddler to kindergarten age, they shared some valuable lessons with us - especially me."

    Never use i instead of I. It is incorrect. The first personal pronoun is always capitalised.

    You could make your writing tighter if you deleted all the unnecessary words. Using extra words doesn't make the article better. For example: "After years of knowing each other even before marriage, our married life took us for a roller coaster ride."

    "We knew each other for years before our wedding, yet our married life was a roller coaster ride."

    Examine each sentence to see if you can make it more concise.

    I enjoyed your hub and particularly liked your ending, which shows how you hung in there, and now appreciate your wife for the hero she is smile

    Hope you get this one featured.

 
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