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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Ideas on the gate of the Mind

  1. mossabezzat profile image60
    mossabezzatposted 4 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Ideas on the gate of the Mind (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Terrielynn1 profile image84
      Terrielynn1posted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Say what. You need to read this and edit. Research and make proper sentence structure. My mind tried, but it's hard to understand what your getting at. The mind is a powerful tool if you stop to use it, but it also has to use logic to relay the info to others. I hope this helps.

  2. mossabezzat profile image60
    mossabezzatposted 4 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Ideas on the gate of the Mind (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks

  3. FatFreddysCat profile image91
    FatFreddysCatposted 4 months ago

    I hate to be "that guy," but I'm sorry, this is total gibberish. What is this article about? Who is your target audience?

    I got about this far before my eyes glazed over:



    ...when I realized that was all one gigantic run-on sentence and I didn't have the slightest clue what you were babbling about, I bailed out.

  4. Rupert Taylor profile image94
    Rupert Taylorposted 4 months ago

    What FatFreddysCat said.

  5. Luke Holm profile image93
    Luke Holmposted 4 months ago

    Let's begin with your first "sentence": In many cases and the thresholds of the life of this stand without that define clear milestones or explicit goal to reach the right way, always feel that there are ideas did not reach them after resemblances in thinking intricacies of complex without the usefulness of little or no access to the summary of the thought of picking rights and confusion where Nour Al Rashad, in those circumstances suspicious transactions in which the majority of the world population as a result of wars and conflicts become visions and unclear, because the internal peace, which was the result of an external peace imposed on the ground had the anniversary of because of those conflicts.

    What are you saying here? I'm lost after the sixth word.  However, I'll try to interpret (albeit poorly), to show you how you might break down your ideas into something a lot more concise and clear:

    In many cases the thresholds of life stand without clear milestones or explicit goals to reach right away.  (I'm not sure what this means, but it seems to be what you are trying to say). 

    I always feel that there are ideas that don't achieve these goals, but rather resemble a level of complex, intricate thinking that is of little use and allows for no access to the summary of thoughts about picking rights and confusion.  (Again, no idea what this means, but at least your audience will be able to read it.  Also, is Nour Al Rashad a palace?  If so, it seems completely out of place here.  You should probably spend time explaining and connecting this idea, as it is not clear to the audience.)

    In such circumstances, the world, as a collective, becomes suspicious of such transactions, resulting in war and conflict.  However, their vision is unclear, because internal peace--a result of external peace--permeates society in wake of these anniversaries.  (I must say, if I am even close to what you are trying to express, I disagree with you.  Internal peace, in my experience, arises from a practice of peace and mindfulness.  External peace, typically, only results from a state of internal peace first.)

    You really need to spend some time clarifying your ideas.  If I can't understand past the 6th word, and I teach middle school English, then there is much to be worked on/sorted out.  Good luck.

 
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