I'd like feedback on my Hub: Success with Love: Two Real Life Stories

  1. ketan pande profile image75
    ketan pandeposted 12 days ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Success with Love: Two Real Life Stories (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image95
      theraggededgeposted 12 days ago in reply to this

      Hi Ketan,

      Many grammatical errors throughout.

      Read the first sentence. You've used 'leave' instead of 'live'. Check the text for random capitalisation. There are several instances.

      "As Former President of The United States of America, Barack Obama has rightly said,"Be kind and resourceful to someone to be successful in life."

      "As former President, Barack Obama, said, "Be kind and resourceful to someone to be successful in life." Shorter is better. Everyone knows who he is big_smile Also, are you sure you want that quote? It sounds quite mercenary. Be kind in order to be successful? Surely one should be kind out of the goodness of their own heart and not because they have their eye on some bigger goal? I realise that's the theme of the hub, but there's something yucky about it.

      Do we need love to survive? Are you sure? Many people live very well on their own and survive. Love is not just from other people. So watch out for big generalisations, which are not actually true. You are stating opinions as fact. How do you know that people need more love as they grow older? Also, you need to make clear the difference between the concept of spiritual love and romantic love. They are not the same.

      Break up your big paragraphs into smaller ones, especially the stories. Remember that people are reading hubs on phones these days, so big blocks of text are difficult.

      What is "Story Name: Love Your Work"? That's a strange subtitle. Why 'story name'? Take it out.

      There's more, but I haven't time to go through the whole thing. Watch those generalisations - they make people want to back out of the hub very fast.

      Hope that helps.

      1. ketan pande profile image75
        ketan pandeposted 12 days ago in reply to this

        Thanks! It will help me a lot

 
working