I'd like feedback on my Hub - "Garin Fitter - Miss Me? Album Review.

  1. RhysRussell profile image81
    RhysRussellposted 3 weeks ago

    Hi there!

    I've recently published an album review and would like any feedback on what's good, what could be improved next time, and pretty much anything else you may think of! I'm trying to expand my writing as I'm hoping to make a career out of it when I finish University!

    Thank you in advance!

    https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Gari … bum-Review

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

      A Welsh boy! From the Vale - just down the road from me big_smile

      I can't see much wrong with the review, but you must remove the links at the bottom. Also the star rating capsule is for recipes not for general use.

      You need to go through the writing carefully as there are some grammar issues: "complete harmony to the instruments..." should be 'with the instruments'.

      Also, as an aspiring writer, you need to change up the style. It's a little generic. Get your Dylan Thomas on.

      "Miss Me? tells a tale of transformation from being in a relationship with one person to being with someone different."

      "Miss Me? tells the tale of transformation between old love and new." Get it tidy, like.

      Could you clean up the boring adjectives by using stronger verbs? "The acoustic guitar - which is featured throughout the album - is cleverly placed on top of the backing instruments..."

      "The acoustic guitar - woven through the whole album - is delicately layered over the backing instrumentals."

      Improving your style won't affect whether the article is approved or not, but it will help you to progress as a writer. Avoid the generic, read-it-all-before at all costs, and let your poetic heritage shine through.

      Hope that helps.

      1. RhysRussell profile image81
        RhysRussellposted 3 weeks ago in reply to this

        Hi! Thank you so much for the constructive feedback! I will take all that you've said on board and will definitely try and change up my style of writing!
        Thank you ever so much for taking the time to assist!

 
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