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I need some constructive criticism on an article that I wrote.

  1. Ivan Hernandez profile image83
    Ivan Hernandezposted 2 weeks ago

    I need help with this article.
    https://hubpages.com/health/How-I-Coped-with-My-Autism
    How do I make it better?

    1. Jeremy Gill profile image89
      Jeremy Gillposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

      Here are my ideas:

      1) Reword awkwardly-phrased sentences, like "...a hero of mine due to her having a similar condition that I have" and "I behaved bad."
      2) At one point you both bolded and used all caps for two words (before and after). I'd only use one form of emphasis.
      3) The first video link is unavailable.
      4) Avoid labeling capsules as "conclusion."
      5) Consider removing the capsule comparing you to Kylyssa. This is definitely your story, and I don't think it's needed.

      Best of luck.

      1. Ivan Hernandez profile image83
        Ivan Hernandezposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

        It is available.

        1. Sherry Hewins profile image95
          Sherry Hewinsposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

          If you were referring to the video, I am getting the "not available" message.

      2. Ivan Hernandez profile image83
        Ivan Hernandezposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

        I put is as private because I didn't want others seeing it.

        1. Jeremy Gill profile image89
          Jeremy Gillposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

          For all intents and purposes, that means it's unavailable for anyone else to watch, making its inclusion questionable. I hope my tips helped.

          1. Ivan Hernandez profile image83
            Ivan Hernandezposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

            Is it available now?

            1. Jeremy Gill profile image89
              Jeremy Gillposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

              Yes, it is. I don't want to pressure you to include it if it's something you wish to keep to yourself, but in that case, I'd remove the capsule entirely. Or, if you're comfortable sharing, feel free to leave it up.

 
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