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New to Hub Pages - Looking for Honest Input on my first Hub Page

  1. kallystehouwer profile image74
    kallystehouwerposted 7 years ago

    Hi... If you've got a moment and wouldn't mind giving your opinion, I just published my first hub page.  Looking for lots of advice from experienced hubbers! (Who knows, hopefully someday I'll be in your spot giving my own advice :-)

    Thanks a million!

  2. 0
    wordscribe41posted 7 years ago

    It's good information and well written.  My three recommendations are:

    1) Put some more pictures in, they're visually appealing and break up the text.
    2)  Ditch the bold letters and italics.  Reminds me of a spammer's sales pitch.
    3) Personalize it a little more.  You mention a little how you started jogging, but you'll have more credibiity if you share more of your story.

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. kallystehouwer profile image74
      kallystehouwerposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for the suggestions.  I'll do some tweaking!

  3. Marisa Wright profile image92
    Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago

    Wordscribe is right - lose the annoying formatting (bold and italics).

    The other thing you should do is split your text up into several text capsules.  That will allow you to add extra photos, and it will allow ads to appear in between (which is good for income).  It will also make it a lot easier to tweak your Hubs later (which I can promise you, you will do!).  Darkside has written some good Hubs on how to lay out your Hubs well.

    Although your introduction is clever, I feel it takes too long to get to the point.  I felt much more engaged in the story once you started talking about how the imaginary car journey affected YOU. 

    I'll be interested to see what other think, but when I read an article which uses the "you" construct - "you're in the car, and now you're driving...", I don't feel as if the writer is talking to me (which is the effect the writer is going for).  In fact, I feel far more involved if the writer talks about his/her own experience or uses "we".