Do you feel there is an appropriate situation where one should fight?
Physical fighting? No. It's uncivilized, ignorant, and potentially dangerous. There are other ways to deal things. More than one hockey dad in state is in prison after killing another hockey dad in a fight. The other day some guy killed another guy when there was fight over a barking dog. It doesn't take much to knock someone's head against a wall or the floor and kill him.
Absolutely. Threaten or attack me or mine, try to take my stuff, attack my country, and I'm absolutely dangerous. I would without hesitation take on an armed robber before he'd get a dime out of my pocket. Not so many years back, I went belly to belly with 5 guys because they were dissing my disabled wife on an Arizona sidewalk in front of our motel room.
On the other hand: A verbal insult directed toward me personally (not my lady; them are definitely fighting words) may NOT be sufficient cause for a fight. Being called "chicken" (or some such) can get a lot of young guys in a fight--I got into it with a friend of mine one night when we were playing poker and he called me "chicken s**t"--but hopefully the "need" to do that fades with maturity. I've been called one helluva lot worse than that since and simply walked away.
On the other other hand: Avoiding situations where you are MORE LIKELY to get called out beats the dickens out of having to fight OR losing face. Bars? No way. Parks where kids skate and smoke and get in fights a lot? No way. Join a race riot? Hardly.
Summary: You have to decide for yourself when and where it is appropriate to fight OR NOT. But remember this: NO fight should EVER be underestimated. You can kill a guy in a fight with one punch or strike or takedown, or you can be killed. So, the real question you have to answer for yourself is NOT, "When should I fight?" but rather, "WHAT is so IMPORTANT that I choose to KILL OR BE KILLED rather than walk away?"
A lot of teenagers and even a lot of older bar fighters just don't get it: Fighting is not a game; it is combat--and combat can ALWAYS result in death.
so Ghost32 is there anything someone could say that would be fighting words?
Drew, that's a really tough question to answer in the abstract. Every situation is different. Also, if a guy KNOWS how to "push your buttons", that is, if he can say THIS and you will SWING, then he controls you. That's never a good thing. If you'd like to share what you're up against, though, feel free to drop me an email. I'll try to get you the best answers I can before I rack out in an hour or two.
Also: Under the law in most places, you're way better off if you don't EVER take the first swing. There's a danger in that, too, of course: What if he knocks your block off WITH the first swing? Oops. But I still focus on countering, hardly ever initiating.
I'm not gunna get in a fight. Just some things were said I found extremely offense and disrespectful from someone I had just met. It took all the self control had not to explode, usually pretty impulsive when actions.
Luckily my friend could see the tension and we left earlier than planned (she was my ride). I am not one to get offended easily either.
If someone were a true threat to me or my kids (even if they're now grown), or if someone attacked me or them, I'd be the first one to aim to kill him with the nearest cast iron frying pan or baseball bat. That, though, is aiming to kill someone who is a true threat (or even someone who has just harmed one of my kids and killing them would be worth the prison time).
As a wife, though, I'd not want my husband risking getting killed or even arrested over someone who "dissed" me. If they were a physical threat to me, I'd most likely be hoping someone would step in. If no physical threat were involved I'd rather someone call the police so I could press whatever charges there are to think up to press.
I guess my thing is if you're not serious about killing someone, don't fight. Go through the courts. If it's a case that would be thrown out by a judge then chances are it wasn't worth fighting over.
Sounds like you've got a handle on it. My stepson, Zach, lost his temper a bit under a year ago. He and his fiancee were out in the car when this guy stuck his head in the girl's side of the car and badmouthed the GIRL. He also threatened to beat the **** out of Zach.
Zach did NOT hit him. He didn't dare. Zach is trained in Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido, bull strong and lightning quick. He might have literally killed the guy. But his (Zach's) rage was so great that he hit a ROAD SIGN. Had to hit SOMETHING. Trouble was, not only that the sign was metal, but that he completely FORGOT he had a LIGHTER in his hand when he did it. Exploded the hand, busted bones everywhere.
Our family knows one of the best sports surgeons anywhere, and he did the surgery on Zach's hand to repair the damage. However, the little finger isn't quite right. The doc told Zach the only way to fix it perfectly would be to re-break it and do another surgery. Zach said huh-uh, I'll live with it.
Since then, he's broken up with his fiancee and for good reason will not ever be getting back with her again. So, the young lady is gone, but the somewhat twisted hand remains, and at the age of 23 he already has arthritis setting in.
Your friend had the right idea: remove yourself from the situation whenever feasible. Even better, if it's doable, find a life that doesn't bring you into contact with the immature schmucks of the world...
I would fight (or yell to get) help another , yeah who enjoys observing pain inflicted on others especially if outnumbered?
Its easy to say dont fight, go for world peace and all that beauty pageant crap, but when you're pushed against the wall, I mean really pushed against the wall, what do you do? Your balls are at stake here - and thats gotta count for a lot.
Well said, Lisa.
In my specific case, Pam (who is five feet tall and 92 pounds) had to literally fight physical battles against men weighing as much as 400 pounds...for the first 45 years of her life, until she and I met. That she is still alive is a testimony to her toughness.
But as I began to comprehend just how rough her life had been, I told her (about 2 months after we hooked up, this would have been very early in 1997), "You can be the girl now, honey; I'll take care of the fighting."
It took her 6 or 7 years of being with me (and seeing me honor my pledge a time or two) to truly trust I meant what I said. My rule--which she is now able to honor--is that she is allowed to come to my aid ONLY if I'm DOWN and even then ONLY if there are MULTIPLE OPPONENTS. Fortunately, the confrontations have not been frequent these past few years, but it remains worth everything to me for her to KNOW she is both loved AND DEFENDED.
i was a guest on someones home though really wasn't the right place for all that
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