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Would You Call Him A Real Friend?

  1. willyoumarryme profile image59
    willyoumarrymeposted 7 years ago

    Paul ask to borrow my lawn mower to cut his grass, after cutting his grass, he cuts his neighbor's grass. My grass needed cutting also, but he didn't cut it, just returns the lawn mower without putting more gas in it and says "Thank You" another thing happened: I was out of work for 5 months, not once did he ask; Is there anything I can do to help you during this difficult time? But he ask another person the question right in front of me.

    Am I wrong in thinking he is not a "TRUE FRIEND"

    1. jonwenberg profile image60
      jonwenbergposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      maybe he just takes for granted that you will consider him enough of a friend to ask for what you need instead of waiting for him to volunteer.

      1. willyoumarryme profile image59
        willyoumarrymeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Your probably right.....I just wasn't raised like that to take people for granted and I would never say I'm a friend and don't think enough of the person to ask if they need help when they are having a hard time. I'm thinking that's just common courtesy

    2. andromida profile image75
      andromidaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      hello willyoumarryme.Maybe he loves you a lot.Maybe he is doing everything intentionally.He is your true friend,there is no doubt about it.I won't even wonder if he ask someone willyoumarryme in front of you.

      1. willyoumarryme profile image59
        willyoumarrymeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I don't think so.....(LOL)

        1. andromida profile image75
          andromidaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          You mean he will say you willyoumarryme.

    3. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      He should have mowed your grass too, maybe he just wanted to see you mow yours in your bikini.

      1. andromida profile image75
        andromidaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Absolutely poet.thanks.

    4. Pamda Man profile image60
      Pamda Manposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      That would need to see what is your definition of a true friend.

      If someone borrows something to you, you lend it to him because you want to. If you lend it to him for wanting something back from him, then there's no meaning.

    5. BODYandSOUL profile image61
      BODYandSOULposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I think you have treated Paul in a special way if not it wouldn't matter to you. Paul was wrong about that not filling some gas in your mower after using it, unless he feels that you are so close that what's yours is his as well, but then if that's the case then he would have cared to ask if you're ok during the lowest point in your life.

    6. dohn121 profile image87
      dohn121posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      In my opinion, he gets the ax:

      You were considerate enough to lend him your lawnmower.

      He wasn't considerate enough to either put gas back in your tank or offer to cut your grass. 

      To be honest, I'm surprised he brought back your lawn mower.  People like this tend to borrow things and then become conveniently senile when it comes to returning what they borrowed.

      Analysis: Cut him off until he makes amends.

      1. goodfriendiam profile image61
        goodfriendiamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Wait a minute who was actually in the wrong? So your saying that because she gave out of the kindness of her heart, that he should be able to read her mind, That what she actually meant was yea if you mow mine, then you can borrow it. Well then I guess she didn't do it out of the kindness of her heart after all. And we wonder why we have war.

        1. dohn121 profile image87
          dohn121posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          No, please don't blow this out of proportion.  This so-called friend did not exhibit common courtesy.  It's simply common courtesy in this particular situation for him to at least OFFER to either mow her lawn or REPLACE the gas he used.  If and when he does, she would then have the opportunity to either turn him down or accept his offer.  Sure it's unspoken, but it's exhibits only proper manners for him to do so...This guy didn't OFFER ANYTHING to her.  I wonder if he even thanked her.

          1. goodfriendiam profile image61
            goodfriendiamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Well for starters if you would have read my original post then maybe you would have had a clue. good day.

    7. profile image0
      Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      No - not a true friend. Real friends are ALWAYS concerned for your well being, no matter how informal you are. Tell him how you feel and if he balks, dump the bum.

    8. Harvey Stelman profile image61
      Harvey Stelmanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You're joking, right!

  2. goodfriendiam profile image61
    goodfriendiamposted 7 years ago

    It would have been nice if he filled up the mower with gas, and asked if he could borrow it to mow grass for the neighbor and not just take advantage of your friendship. But the part about him  not cutting yours is your own mistake, you should have asked if if he would. Because what you are saying is more or less the only reason you allowed him to use it in the first place was if he paid you back in some way. hope this helps

    1. willyoumarryme profile image59
      willyoumarrymeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      your right I should have said you can borrow the mower if you cut my lawn. I was thinking that should have been a given, obviously I was wrong.

      1. goodfriendiam profile image61
        goodfriendiamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        So what is this hub again, are you seeking honesty or sympathy?

      2. fishmox profile image61
        fishmoxposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Then the two of you may not be operating on the same wave length.

        As for me, I WILL cut your lawn, you don't have to ask, hey, it's your lawn mower and your gas.  As for the gas, it would have been more polite and friend-like to bring my own gas with me.  Suppose you borrow his car and take it for a hundred mile drive and return it without loading it with gas ?
        Is he going to think, "oh well, that's what friends are for" ?

  3. Lisa HW profile image84
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    I think you could be a little too quick to think that way.  Sometimes when people really feel like close friends they're less "formal" than they may be with someone they see as "just as neighbor".  They may worry more about making sure they do something like refill a lawnmower gas with someone they don't feel so close to.  Maybe he thinks you don't mind.  Maybe he thinks he'll do something for you or has done things for you.  Maybe he just didn't think.  Offering someone else help in front of is what people do.  Again, if he feels you're really a close friend he'll assume you understand.   On the other hand, if he never shows up unless he needs/wants something, then he's not likely a true friend.

    1. willyoumarryme profile image59
      willyoumarrymeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe he just didn't think is right! Thank you so much for your response

  4. Lady_E profile image81
    Lady_Eposted 7 years ago

    I'm getting the impression, Paul is just your neighbour and doesn't feel obliged to treat you as a real friend (even though some do). Try not to dwell on it and get on with things.  If however, you and Paul are close friends then you could ask him sometime why he behaved that way.

    Wishing you good luck in finding a new job.

  5. Tyson Ellis profile image60
    Tyson Ellisposted 7 years ago

    Sounds more like a neighbor than a friend. If he is your friend, it seems maybe he does take you for granted. So I guess I'm not really saying anything new here, only reiterating what others have said.

  6. CEN7777 profile image61
    CEN7777posted 7 years ago

    No, I do not think he is a true friend. otherwise he should have asked you if yo need any help when you are out. Infact he shou;d have filled gas in machine and must have cleaned your lawn first as courtesy.

  7. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    I have seen only one side of this coin, and then only in part.

  8. Dame Scribe profile image60
    Dame Scribeposted 7 years ago

    I borrow anything from anybody for free like the lawnmower (I ask for the weedwacker lol ) I always return it in condition that I borrowed it. hmm it is jus common courtesy and he showed none.

  9. profile image0
    dennisemattposted 7 years ago

    it seems as tho there are 2 issues here. One, is he a friend? yould have to figure that on out. I am in no way "true friends" just becuase someone is my neighbor.
    Two, about the mower...he should have replaced the gas he used, nothing more.BUT that is just common courtesy, not really anuthgin to do with friendship. SURE, having him mow for you would be nice, but firend/neighbor/enemy....cant really read yor mind.
    If you decide to be helpful to someone should not be based on what you think you will get back.

    1. goodfriendiam profile image61
      goodfriendiamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      yea, you go GF, what she said.

    2. profile image0
      Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I don't think she lent the mower based on what she would get back, but just out of kindness. She then states she's been out of work for 5 months and this guy doesn't replace the gas. Then, he asks another person -right in front of her- if they need anything. Doesn't sound like a friend to me.

  10. janni321 profile image60
    janni321posted 7 years ago

    you can't call him friend because he has not any feelings of friendship for you. You must treat him as common people not as a friend

 
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