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Help!!!! Published a hub, not yet a millionaire

  1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago

    http://static.open.salon.com/files/crying-man-7038051247940299.jpg

    Why doesn't anyone like me?  I read everyone else's hubs, join every fan club and even serve breakfast.  Despite my efforts, I am still working for a living and not able to live off of my HubPages empire.  Life is so unfair!!!

    1. manlypoetryman profile image68
      manlypoetrymanposted 8 years ago in reply to this

       

      My Deepest Condolences. Sorry to see that you have also been decapitated...What a bummer! But...I know you won't let a silly little thing that like that slow you down!

      1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
        Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        At least I don't have a tractor where my penis should be.  I mean size does matter but Jeeeez.

        1. manlypoetryman profile image68
          manlypoetrymanposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          That's funny...for someone that is proud to show a mark where they've been kicked in the head!

    2. profile image0
      pgrundyposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Life is unfair, isn't it?

      It could be worse though. You could actually HAVE to live off your Hug Pages empire. Yikes. smile

  2. Jane@CM profile image60
    Jane@CMposted 8 years ago

    Oh dear Ron, you make me laugh.  Serving breakfast and cupcakes does make you a good person - go with that.  The millions will start flowing in, just sit tight LOL

    How long did it take you to read all those hubs??? big_smile

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Ummmmm..only 20 minutes.  I'm a speed reader, yeah, that's it a speed reader.  That's the ticket.

  3. Pamda Man profile image53
    Pamda Manposted 8 years ago

    Why the looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng faeces?

    1. beautyrose profile image52
      beautyroseposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Hi panda. How are you?

      Oh maybe ron's internet service provider bill is  already in  its due date of payment and since hp revenues are coming like a turtle walk he seems impatient of when will he become a millionaire.

  4. Eric Graudins profile image60
    Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago

    Look Ron,

    Don't be disappointed.
    It takes a whole hour (sometimes two) to make your first thousand dollars, and it gets better after that.

    Try to make at least 5,000 forum posts a day. This will also increase your visibility, and will make people like, admire, and respect you.

    You could also dump a lot of unrelated keyword phrases into the questions and answers pages. This will make Google love you, and give you a higher ranking.

    Find as many hubbers as you can, and become their fans. Some of them will become YOUR fans too, which is a GOOD THING. A couple of hundred an hour is a good target to aim for.


    Publish a lot of hubs too. If you've only got one or two, you won't get those big dollars rolling in.
    Adding champagne to the breakfasts you server could be a good idea - I don't know of anyone doing that yet, so you could develop a great little niche for yourself.

    Also, put links to three or four of your hubs into every forum post you make. This will attract hubbers like bees to a honeypot, and they will surely read your hubs, and click on the ads.

    I'm sure you'll learn lots of other wonderful income increasing techniques, but those ones will get you started.

    NOTE TO HUBBERS WITH IQ'S LESS THAN THEIR SHOE SIZE:
    The above is satire. don't believe a word of it.

    1. Pamda Man profile image53
      Pamda Manposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Lol.

    2. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago in reply to this



      Eric I'm so glad you posted this. I was just starting to get some research done of how to attract some dollars, fans, dollars and fans my way. Did I say I was trying to attract some dollars my way? I will now go and implement each and everyone of your points. I always take your advice seriously. Thank you.

      I'm not sure what my shoe size has to do with anything but...you know best

      1. Eric Graudins profile image60
        Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Happy to help Zsuzsy
        If you do all those things, I'm pretty sure you'll make a hundred thousand by the end of the week. cool

        1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
          Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Hundred thousand by the end of the week? not too shabby I say. Thanks again
          http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/2778/sarcasm3ix4.gif smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

    3. viryabo profile image86
      viryaboposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol

    4. Gennifer profile image71
      Genniferposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      LOL! smile

      Ron, enjoy writting and money will come! wink

      1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
        Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        But I hate writing, it makes my head hurt!!  I want my money right now!

    5. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I can't wait an hour, I have bills due now!!

      1. earnestshub profile image86
        earnestshubposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        It's OK Ron, don't listen to Eric, he is always understating income potential. He is Tasmanian you see, they don't get the proper internet down there.

        1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
          Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          They attach a coconut shell to each computer and connect with string?

    6. Bredavies profile image69
      Bredaviesposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      This made my day!!!! ahahaa champagne with breakfast..classic.
      I hope everyone knows what satire is...
      ahaha!!!

    7. KIMTEJEDA profile image54
      KIMTEJEDAposted 8 years ago in reply to this
    8. dodofone profile image59
      dodofoneposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I love your comment. It is a good one make me laugh but you are right, Eric!

      1. Anti-Valentine profile image93
        Anti-Valentineposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        And the naturally smart twin Steven Spielbergs here spells IQs with an apostrophe. tongue

        1. Eric Graudins profile image60
          Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Thank you.
          you've now been promoted to Senior constable in the Hub Pages spelling  police.

          @Red Elf.
          Thank you. We try.

          1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
            Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            smile

          2. Anti-Valentine profile image93
            Anti-Valentineposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            You like to point out satire, so I just thought I'd point out what I-R-O-N-Y is, that's all.

            And as for HubPages police, I've expressed my desire before to not be affiliated with them in any way...until the next time you slip up. wink

            Back to work, man, er...men.

            1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
              Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

              I think they should be secret police.  You could be agent 001

              1. Anti-Valentine profile image93
                Anti-Valentineposted 8 years ago in reply to this

                Imagine the power! I'm all ready part of the HubPages Hermits Club, along with Hal Licino and another hubber whose name I forget.

  5. Jane@CM profile image60
    Jane@CMposted 8 years ago

    Eric, you crack me up.  Great laugh for the day!

    1. Eric Graudins profile image60
      Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks. The devil makes me do it smile

  6. Pamda Man profile image53
    Pamda Manposted 8 years ago

    LMAO!!! XD

  7. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    Ron, sorry to have taken away from your post but it just can't be mentioned often enough of how important it is to follow Eric's advice to a T.

    Unfortunately even though I've been here on hubpages 2 years I never listened before and therefore I'm not at my million mark yet either. But as Eric said it will come so...........

  8. profile image0
    Janettaposted 8 years ago

    I think if I were you, I'd be more concerned with my floating head and less concerned with the amount of money my hubs are making....but that's just me smile

  9. profile image0
    dennisemattposted 8 years ago

    Ron, maybe its because your bald? lol
    or perhaps thos pics of you in BP's invention got out....

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That's it, I'm starting my own HubPages type sight!!

      It's gonna be called Fat, bald guys wearing jockstraps over their faces Ultimate cool writing site.

  10. 2patricias profile image59
    2patriciasposted 8 years ago

    Sometimes when you are trying the least you come up with something successful.
    Our top hub (in hits, but not money) is about feet.
    Honestly.

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Cool, so you're saying I should write about feet.  I'm gonna start a feet hub right now.  If it doesn't make a lot of money today, I'll hold you responsible.

    2. Rochelle Frank profile image89
      Rochelle Frankposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Out of my 100 some hubs-- one about hair salon names has about 1/3 of my total views.

      Someone writing about hairy feet, might have a good return.

  11. Susana S profile image90
    Susana Sposted 8 years ago

    That's the biggest, shiniest one I've seen this month - fantastic!

    Oh yeh, I've got a list of massively high paying keywords round here somewhere.....I'll see if I can find it for you smile

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Feet better be one of them or someone's in big trouble.

  12. profile image0
    Ghost32posted 8 years ago

    Gotcha covered, Ron.  Just made my first $1,000,000, so do what I do and--wait.  Let me get my glasses.

    Dang. Seeing double x fly specks + 15 watt bulb worklight =....

    Uh, Ron...never mind, okay?

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Cash tease.

  13. forlan profile image60
    forlanposted 8 years ago

    eric i will implement four poin but posting 5000 post in forums need much time. i do not have time for that

  14. freelanceworld profile image60
    freelanceworldposted 8 years ago

    lol. Topic was really funny  big_smile

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      You have a refined sense of humor for a baby. yikes

  15. BrianFanslau profile image62
    BrianFanslauposted 8 years ago

    LOL Ron you rock smile 5,000 forum posts that would take for freaking ever especially if you considered trying to read any length of any of them and give a somewhat pointed answer. Love it smile

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I attribute my abilities to the power of cupcakes.

  16. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago

    http://blog.nbc.com/frank/cupcake-blog5-17-07.jpg

  17. wrenfrost56 profile image82
    wrenfrost56posted 8 years ago

    Funniest thread EVER!!!!! I just laughted my ruddy head off! Why do you guys not have your own comedy show???? You'de def make a million for that and would make even more money from your hubs, you can't lose.

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      ruddy head means??  if I new what that was it might inspire a hub smile

      1. wrenfrost56 profile image82
        wrenfrost56posted 8 years ago in reply to this

        you have to say it like a british country farmer! ruddy is like bloody.

    2. freelanceworld profile image60
      freelanceworldposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      What an idea for ron ! lol big_smile

    3. Eric Graudins profile image60
      Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      We have. It's called HubPAges forums.

      1. RedElf profile image85
        RedElfposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you, thank you, thank you big_smile
        This is the best thread I've come across since finding Paraglider's limericks post.
        Thanks so much for brightening my day
        It is all so clear now Eric! Now I see what I was doing wrong. Bless you, my children, my path is now clear and my way lighted before me big_smile
        (genuflects in awe and gratitude) wink

        1. Anti-Valentine profile image93
          Anti-Valentineposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Sounds like you should be in the religion forums. tongue

  18. EverythingMouse profile image60
    EverythingMouseposted 8 years ago

    I think what you need to do is buy a $97 ebook from a guru and then you will have the answer to everything. You can be a millionaire overnight with no effort at all.

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I have my credit card ready.  Do you have a particular one to reccomend, or should I just play it safe and buy them all?

  19. Inspirepub profile image80
    Inspirepubposted 8 years ago

    Buy them ALL, Ron, that's the way it works.

    For every one that you buy, you store up cosmic credit, and then when you write your own e-book, those cosmic credits come back to you.

    Of course, you have to pay half the revenue to your affiliates, so you're still out of pocket.

    But you can take the screen shot of your thousands of dollars of income from your e-book, and use it to launch your speaking career, after which folks will pay thousands for the six-CD set of you reading your e-book aloud, with the bonus DVD of you speaking your e-book to a live audience.

    That's when you start being ahead financially.

    And it all starts with buying those e-books - it's called "paying your dues". Get onto Clickbank and get that credit card smokin'!

    Remember, every dollar spent is a cosmic credit ...

    Jenny

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That all sounds like too much work.  Can't we just pretend I did all that sh** and have all you people send me money.  You know you're gonna pay me eventually.

  20. aniketgore profile image59
    aniketgoreposted 8 years ago

    lolz a very funny post

  21. nicomp profile image59
    nicompposted 8 years ago

    You ain't makin' money 'cause you're a Colts fan, Duh.

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Great comment from Bengals / Browns country

  22. ktowers profile image60
    ktowersposted 8 years ago

    Good advice KIMTEJEDA

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      ???

  23. myawn profile image59
    myawnposted 8 years ago

    I enjoy writing about a variety of things so I should make a whole lot soon. I hope so anyway.

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      You will be living high on the hog in no time!

      1. Eric Graudins profile image60
        Eric Graudinsposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        OK, Payback time.

        You've reaped the benefits of my good advice.
        I'm sending you my account for $250,000 which is 10% of the income you should have made in the last couple of weeks.

        A small FedEx package with large denomination notes will be fine smile

        1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
          Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          I'm going to be like California and send you some IOU's. yikes

  24. earnestshub profile image86
    earnestshubposted 8 years ago

    That would be in Tasmanian money, so around 39 cents should cover it!

  25. unfaithfulsfan profile image62
    unfaithfulsfanposted 7 years ago

    Guess I'm a little slow, Eric, it took me a few lines of "WTF?!?" then I belly laughed and scared the dog.

    Hysterical satire!

 
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