Na, I don't mind it was a long time ago. I came home to get an envelope. He didn't want me to come in the house. So I knew something was up.
After I fought through the door and walked in the bedroom. There she was, surprised as all hell. I figured since she was stupid enough to still be in the bed when she could obviously hear me at the door, then... I don't know.
I just walked back out...still got my envelope though lol and when he tried to explain. I punched him in the face.
lol- it was one of those times in life where you get so angry and upset at the same time that the only thing you can do is stay calm. Believe me, I wanted rip his nuts off and feed them to him with his mistress standing behind him to watch him sh*t balls!
You know, that is so funny, when they try to explain the plain truth staring at you. Yea what are you going to say, Ah sweet heart, I'm thinking about becoming a gynecologist and this sweet girl just happened to volunteer her time, isn't that so sweet...lol...way to go Sandra
One can never say how one would react to such a situation, too many factors would affect the reaction, not the least of which would be your emotional state of mind at the time and whether or not you might, if even subconsciously, expected this to take place.
For me, this would be a clear indication of a problem with the marriage, however, if it has gone this far, it's likely suspicions have been felt for a long time. One, happily married, doesn't just jump into bed with someone at the first opportunity though I'm sure such a thing occurs, it's not the norm.
That being said, I would probably just turn around and leave hoping I wasn't seen, but if I was, it really wouldn't matter except it might ruin their finish. This could give me time to digest and release the emotional stress and calculate the next logical step, which would depend on the answer to the question, is this marriage worth the trouble of saving?
It takes a really strong and forgiving person to forgive such a discretion, but one would have to forget it too and that is quite hard. There would always be a doubt as to the faithfulness of the other party and that's hard to overcome. On the other hand when one is just dating one seems to be able to let go of the thought that the one you're with has entertained other partners.
Bottom line is you can't control what others do, you can only control your own behaviour. Acting on emotion is often something that you'll regret later on and it's best to get composure first before doing anything. There will be time to express your emotions later when it's more appropriate.
Well having lived it, made the attempt at trying to save the marriage and finally having gone through the divorce, I learned a lot. The hardest part is trying to determine if what you have is worth saving, and the answer to that question is one that both parties must agree upon.
My now ex-wife simply THOUGHT I was cheating on her and she quietly started a no fault divorce. I was working for Deja Vu Showgirls at the time. (I look nice in a tux shirt. . .especially back then when I was 20 pounds lighter!) So she asked me to sleep in the family room on the pullout couch so my hours would not disturb her sleep. (This was actually her way of getting me out of our bed for a specific period of days). Eventually, she had to speak to me about it but not before she had all her plans in place. She thought I was doing strippers and visiting porn actresses. I wasn't--technically. I was getting attention from them but technically I did not have sex with those women! After the divorce and when she was dating her now second hubby she told me she didn't think I loved her any more and that I was too big for her. (Wow. I can't believe I just put that in a public forum!) Seriously, I guess I was internally bruising her when we ,you know, did it. I mean I knew I made her sore sometimes but she never told me I was actually bruising her inside! So she didn't even need to see me with someone else to leave MY ass. Oh yeah, that was the other thing. I was too big to fit all the way inside her BUT, I digress. . .
Walk and never look back nor to the side just upward an onward.
I would hope I could maybe hold my anger just long enough to fill the hems of the bedroom curtains with a couple of dead fish though......disconnect the electric( snip snip)....maybe place an advertisement in the local classifieds sections too
Im not advocating divorce goodfriend, I believe in marriage ,its just that sometimes when nothing helps, its always best to be kind to yourself....step back and say ..what would I do to help this person (meaning yourself)....and then do it.... For me...it would be to keep my dignity and walk proudly away.
My husband didn't cheat on me. Know he was a good person in that way. Know I left him for other reasons, but what I was saying is, a few years back the person that I was, would have beat the shit out of him....lol
That is the ultimate betrayal of trust. If I were to catch my spouse betraying me, that would be it. It would be over. I have had relationships in the past where I tried to work through it, but the trust was gone. I couldn't get past it.
You know what, EK? People think I'm a loose canon. But if that kinda stuff happens to me - God forbid - I would probably be so calm about it. That's the thing with me, I'm calm like Bogart when stuff like that happens. But I probably wouldn't be able to look at her face again, or even talk to her. Overall, I really cant articulate my thoughts on this. That's why I'm asking those of you who are married or have been married.
More then likely we did try to work it out, before it all came falling down, to this very thing. So if he wasn't willing to talk, then why would he want to after being caught naked, unless he was afraid of what you might tell others.
I have kids. I was raised by peopel who "stayed together for the kids". they shouldnt have. Its awful to see your parents, they are miserable, you KNOW they dont love each other, and you know they stayed together for you. As a kid, you think it must be your fault your parents are so unhappy. I have been cheated on before, I have respect for people who make it work. I couldnt. no way. My husband knows all this. If he cheated on me, it would be full well knowing the consequences. No more cookies for him!! I would never in a million years disrespect him like that, and I demand the same.
Um that happened to my mom when she was engaged before she met my dad. She came home from vacation and her fiance was in bed with another woman. She pulled a shotgun on him and told him to get out of the apartment. Mama don't play!
There are no valid excuses or reasons for breaking someone's trust no matter what we tell ourselves to justify the act. I didn't walk in on them, just saw the loving and lingering hugs at the airport - in front of me! The partner! HAH! That was enough to provoke a most civilized but candid confrontation and now I no longer have a partner. I suppose, in all honesty, I didn't have one anymore by the time of the "hugs" - at least not in their minds
Well not to justify it but these things usually happen for a reason. Usually someone in the relationship is not getting something they need and lines of communication break down leading them to seek what they need elsewhere. The important thing to remember when someone cheats on you, is it's not your fault.
I understand what you are saying, but what if we are talking ugly BEYOND historical measures.. i mean the kind of ugly that makes you look twice just to make sure she/he is doing it with another human being? The kind of ugly that makes you take out your cell phone's camera and post a picture on YouTube? Wouldnt that take a bit of the pain's edge away?