I wish to disagree. I am all against an eye for and eye usually. Like if someone kills someone they should be throwin in prison. But rape is worse then death to most women. It leaves you so emotionally broken and scared..maybe for months..or for life.
Bredavies, I agree, to some extent. But I also think that if it happens to a woman than she must be strong and not let it defeat her. It's a thing that happens to some women (and that's why I say rapists should be hanged), but the women are stronger than this.
I mean if I were a woman and it happened to me I think the first thing on my mind would be to take revenge. And I would do it. I always say, people can do physical harm to me and then I will do the same thing to them in return. But they can't do psychological harm to me, because then I will kill them.
Well, ya sure rape is a humongous act of cruelty on humanity. It effects us both physically and mentally. But a lie has just as much "truth" A lie can take a mother from her child. Say husband goes and has an affair, mom finds out about it, mom goes and blows her brains out. Do you "think" this will effect the child both physically and mentally?
Don't take the human factor as constant. I think most people take lies better than rape. Of course there are some who would blow their brains out because they have been cheated on, but don't take this for standard, please. In fact if it happens, it has more to say about in what kind of relationship these people are with themselves than about the nature of lies in general.
Larry, my goodness I will remember you when I send out my xmas party invitations.....lol, What would you do to me, if all my dirty little secrets got out.....lol...I'm running from larry, na, na, na, na, na, na.....lol
Hi. Very interesting threads... on both sides. Does anyone here either closely knows someone who has been raped or a child brought about by rape?
I know both - in fact, I know several rape victims and they all act different about it. Some of them are not over it yet and are still dealing with damage after 25 years, but they have ALL "forgiven" the rapers and they have said that forgiving them was the first thing they did to come to grips with themselves again and begin the healing process.
Do I like rapists? Absolutely not. Do I think they should be punished? Absolutely. Do I think the victim of the rape should punish them? No... it would do more damage to the victim in the long run - and I know that from personal experience.
My friend who is the "product" of a rape does not know her father but wishes she could meet him just so she could know what her family history is like, she doesn't respect him, but she doesn't hate him... for those things I think it should go a on a case by case basis.
Ya I understand, I was never raped and I don't know anyone that has been raped, but I have been abused really really bad growing up in a sexual way. I guess if we are going to measure it, then I guess you could say it was rape. But you know what I forgave him,and it took a while to forgive, that is and it sure wasn't easy, I wanted to get revenge on him in a bad way, but then one day it dawned on me, who am I too judge what another dos with there life, I mean I sure have done things that would be considered a crime, and I am thankful no one has wanted to hang me out to dry on a tree or anything.
I think none of us (EDIT: except bredavies who also has a friend dealing with this) can form an opinion that is as valid as yours until we experienced this phenomenon as closely as you did. For this reason, I think you are "the most right" person among us. Still, I fancy the view that if you take revenge it may strengthen you by proving that you are not a victim and that you can actually protect yourself. Wouldn't someone feel more secure after taking revenge knowing that she could deal a mightier blow? (Immature viewpoint, I know.)
I don't think that viewpoint is immature. I'm sure in some cases, revenge would not be the best case, but as in most things in life, it is an individual-by-individual basis. I'm sure some people could recover quickly if they could take revenge, and I'm sure there are some children who would like to know their fathers and some who wouldn't. There is definitely not a one-size-fits-all answer for this, especially since it is so touchy.
Just to be clear about this, I have lived with a woman that had been raped, no children thank God, but psychologically damaged ...She offered herself to this creep that threatened her and a friend that was younger than her...she had been married before whereas the other woman had never been married and supposedly still a virgin...
It never goes away, no matter how much you try, even with professional help...These women are still alive, but emotionally they are dead, and normal relationships are difficult if not impossible...
[ This is true, Pacal...At least if you are dead you are finished suffering, but to have to live with what some think of as shame, because they submitted, and being unable to forgive themselves, inserts itself in almost every facet of their life.. I would think that if I were a child of rape I would want to transfer that guilt to the rapist...shame the SOB and dog his every step making sure his friends and family know what he did...
While I agree that sometimes I do have to deal with some uncomfortable issues, I do not consider myself dead inside. I consider myself stronger and I am thankful for every single day. I was "dead inside" for several years though... until I realized that I may not have had a choice in what happened to me, but I do have a choice on how I live the rest of my life and how I feel about it. And I chose happiness over sadness and healing over pain and I rarely ever even think about that time in my life anymore - probably less than once a year.
I admire your strength and resolve...some folks just aren't able to " move on "...for whatever reason...my girlfriend was one such, and still is, 40 years later...unmarried, bitter, and hostile to males...such is the legacy of a rape...
Absolutely. And I honestly hope that victims don't take this issue so seriously, because it's not their fault.
There is a reason why traditional cultures punished rapists most severely. Back then men were still required to have backbone. If you were on the level of someone who does this or other similar things it meant 1) you were a thread to society, 2) the tribe was ashamed of you, 3) you did not deserve to live. I hope that in the future (when the ear of mindless subversive liberalism finally has ended) crimes will be more severely punished.
I don't think that's quite the answer either. If I was one of those kids and was allowed to have a relationship with my father. And if found out when I was older that I was born because my father raped my mother, I'd have a WHOLE lot of problems not only with my Dad, but also with the adults who never told me.
Besides, would you allow your minor child to be alone with a rapist?
Yeah. what's up?What's this i'm hearing, in a certain poor neighbor, that children are more naturally drawn to their mothers than their fathers. is this true?what's up with this nature, nurture?tell me....
adult children to grow. They are the type of parents who subconsciously sabotage their children's career chances and advancements. They seem to be deathly afraid to allow their children to establish...