I am up for any and all critisizm. I am trying to improve my writing.
I think your writing is fine. My top tips would be to break up the text with sub-headings and adding a bulleted list if the topic lends itself to that. Also use more than one text capsule so that you get some ads inbetween.
If you're writing here for money, then you might want to think about optimizing your pages so that they get good search engine positions. I wrote a hub on this which may help: http://hubpages.com/hub/increase-page-r … h-pagerank
Copy the link from the top in the browser, then while in edit mode, open the link capsule and paste. hope that helps.
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