Please critique my hubpage for my new book

  1. 0
    Jawa Lunkposted 7 years ago

    Greetings friends!

    I am an author with a couple published books who decide to go "ghost" for my next book.

    It's my first work of fiction, and I would like people to check it out and let me know what you think of it.

    When I have completed the HUBS, I will expound on them to write the novel.

    Thanks.

    http://hubpages.com/author/Jawa+Lunk/latest/

  2. Lady_E profile image81
    Lady_Eposted 7 years ago

    Good luck with the novel.

  3. Marisa Wright profile image93
    Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago

    Jawa, I see you're starting each Hub with a long, full-width Amazon ad.  Do you want readers to read your novel, or are you really promoting Amazon products? 

    Because if I open your Hub and all I can see is a bunch of Amazon ads and maybe a photo, I'm not even going to scroll down to read the first paragraph.

    Chapter 1 - if it started with, "As the sun rose that morning, he sat up from his makeshift shelter of cardboard and plastic.  The sky was a dark orange..." you might pique my interest and get me to read further, because I would wonder what world it was and what had happened.  As it is, you lose me with your overly wordy introduction.

    I'm not a fan of giving away your whole novel on a public website, but that's your choice.

 
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