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Funniest Joke-2 lines only

  1. 0
    lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

    can you do it? Make us laugh in 2 lines?

    hmmmm


    no mamma fat jokes allowed - too easy

    all skinny ones permitted

    lol ha just made one, cracking myself up

  2. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    One muffin in the oven says to another, "God it's hot in here!"
    The other says, "Oh no! It's a talking muffin!!!"

  3. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Where do you find a one-legged dog?
    Where you left it.

  4. mistywild profile image61
    mistywildposted 7 years ago

    a fish swan into a wall......
    dammmmmmmmmmmm.

  5. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    One does a one-legged girl standing next to a bldg call herself?
    Eileen

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Where does she work?
      IHOP

  6. Dr23 profile image60
    Dr23posted 7 years ago

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.

    1. 0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol

    2. Himitsu Shugisha profile image76
      Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      This is awesome!!

  7. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years ago

    What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs?
    Bob

  8. MagickJack59 profile image61
    MagickJack59posted 7 years ago

    Confuscious say man who has hole in pocket feel cocky all day!

  9. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Husband: "Whatever I say, goes!"
    Wife: "Have fun talking to yourself!"

  10. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
    Husband: "My boss told me to go to hell!"

  11. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    "What did you do before you got married?"
    "Whatever I wanted."

  12. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Democracy: Where your vote counts.
    Feudalism: Where your Count votes.

    COME ON!!! Where is everybody?!

  13. vppromoter profile image60
    vppromoterposted 7 years ago

    A sandwich goes into a bar and asks for a drink.
    The barman says -Go away. We don't serve food.

    1. 0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      your killing me lol lol

  14. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Woman: "I can't go out w/ a perfect stranger like you."
    Man: "Who said I was perfect?"

    1. dejajolie profile image60
      dejajolieposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol

  15. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    A train station is where a train STOPS.
    That's how I get to my work station.

  16. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    A Scotsman won the lottery but was very sad . . .
    mainly because of the dollar he wasted on the second ticket.

  17. Jonathan Janco profile image80
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    Customer: "Do you serve women at this bar?"
    Bartender: "No, sir. You must bring your own."

    1. 0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      nice lol

    2. dejajolie profile image60
      dejajolieposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Good One!

  18. hublim profile image78
    hublimposted 7 years ago

    A pair of jump leads walk into a bar.

    The barman says, you two better not start anything.

  19. hublim profile image78
    hublimposted 7 years ago

    Two Parrots are sitting on a Perch.

    One says to the other, do you smell fish?

  20. hublim profile image78
    hublimposted 7 years ago

    2 fish are in a tank.

    One says to the other, how do you drive this thing?

  21. Sauvignon profile image61
    Sauvignonposted 7 years ago

    How do you make a hankie dance?

    Put a lil boogie in it

    -thank you nephew!

  22. 0
    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    what do you call a chinese lady with a mixer on her head

                  Blenda

  23. 0
    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    how many irish people does it take to change a light bulb
       
             THE light bulb has got to want to change

  24. Himitsu Shugisha profile image76
    Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years ago

    Confucius say boy who goes to bed with sex problem on mind, wakes up with solution on hand.

  25. 0
    Wag The Dogposted 7 years ago

    It is only 99% of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_K9fQJyN-dI4/SwsIvVwRfrI/AAAAAAAAA10/cAhZiphZHT0/s1600/lawyer.jpg

    1. Sauvignon profile image61
      Sauvignonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      LOL lol

  26. 0
    Wag The Dogposted 7 years ago

    Confucius say "He who fart in church, sits in own pew."

  27. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    An advert:

    Today Hannibal Lecter will read a lecture on delicious and nutritious food.

  28. ediggity profile image61
    ediggityposted 7 years ago

    What do you call cheese that's not yours?

    Nach yo cheese.

  29. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Never be afraid to do something you know nothing about.
    Remember: Noah's Ark was built by amateurs, and professionals built Titanic.

  30. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Love = unlimited happiness for a limited time.

  31. ediggity profile image61
    ediggityposted 7 years ago

    What's the worst thing to tell an inmate when they ask you to do something?


    Feel free.

  32. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Advert in hospital, maternity ward:

    Deliver two - get the third for free!

  33. sooner than later profile image61
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    what do you call a fish without an eye(i).
    FSHHHHHH

  34. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    When suddenly, in the middle of the night a fat man sneaks into your room and starts stuffing you into his bag, don't worry.
    That only means that someone has requested a present for Christmas - you.

  35. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    A sticker on the back of the car:

    Don't follow me, I'm lost!

  36. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Half of the politicians do not know how to do anything.
    The rest of them do anything.

  37. SoftCornHippo profile image61
    SoftCornHippoposted 7 years ago

    Bumper-sticker:
    Hey! What if the hoochie-coochie IS what its all about?!

  38. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    A worm looking at a plate full of spaghetti:
    - Wow! That's what I call proper group sex..

  39. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    "Here's my apartment" - thought the rabbit.
    "Here's my dinner" - thought the python.

  40. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    - Miss, bananas can also be eaten...

  41. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Why there is no cat food with mouse flavour?

  42. Jackson Riddle profile image68
    Jackson Riddleposted 7 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks through airport door sideways is going to bangcock

  43. Jackson Riddle profile image68
    Jackson Riddleposted 7 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks behind bus will get exhausted

  44. Jackson Riddle profile image68
    Jackson Riddleposted 7 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks in front of bus gets tired

  45. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Dogs are unlucky:
    all of them are either bitches, or their sons...

  46. Jackson Riddle profile image68
    Jackson Riddleposted 7 years ago

    they obviously named oranges before they named carrots

  47. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    When God created a man, he did not get a patent for his invention, so now every idiot can do the same.

  48. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    If you have too much money, that only means you lack immagination.

  49. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    People spend less time in prison than you spend online big_smile

  50. Black Lilly profile image59
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    I wonder where mazochists go after death - to heaven or hell?

 
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