Funniest Joke-2 lines only

1. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   can you do it? Make us laugh in 2 lines?
   
   hmmmm
   
   
   no mamma fat jokes allowed - too easy
   
   all skinny ones permitted
   
   ha just made one, cracking myself up

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2. 60

   Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

   One muffin in the oven says to another, "God it's hot in here!"
   The other says, "Oh no! It's a talking muffin!!!"

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3. 60

   Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

   Where do you find a one-legged dog?
   Where you left it.

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4. 62

   mistywildposted 14 years ago

   a fish swan into a wall......
   dammmmmmmmmmmm.

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5. 60

   Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

   One does a one-legged girl standing next to a bldg call herself?
   Eileen

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   1. 61

      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Where does she work?
      IHOP

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6. 60

   Dr23posted 14 years ago

   What do you call a cow with no legs?
   
   Ground beef.

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   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

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   2. 73

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is awesome!!

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7. 61

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs?
   Bob

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8. 60

   MagickJack59posted 14 years ago

   Confuscious say man who has hole in pocket feel cocky all day!

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9. 60

   Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

   Husband: "Whatever I say, goes!"
   Wife: "Have fun talking to yourself!"

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10. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
    Husband: "My boss told me to go to hell!"

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11. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    "What did you do before you got married?"
    "Whatever I wanted."

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12. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Democracy: Where your vote counts.
    Feudalism: Where your Count votes.
    
    COME ON!!! Where is everybody?!

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13. 41

    vppromoterposted 14 years ago

    A sandwich goes into a bar and asks for a drink.
    The barman says -Go away. We don't serve food.

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    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       your killing me

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14. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Woman: "I can't go out w/ a perfect stranger like you."
    Man: "Who said I was perfect?"

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    1. 59

       dejajolieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       lol

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15. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    A train station is where a train STOPS.
    That's how I get to my work station.

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16. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    A Scotsman won the lottery but was very sad . . .
    mainly because of the dollar he wasted on the second ticket.

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17. 60

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Customer: "Do you serve women at this bar?"
    Bartender: "No, sir. You must bring your own."

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    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       nice

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    2. 59

       dejajolieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Good One!

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18. 67

    hublimposted 14 years ago

    A pair of jump leads walk into a bar.
    
    The barman says, you two better not start anything.

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19. 67

    hublimposted 14 years ago

    Two Parrots are sitting on a Perch.
    
    One says to the other, do you smell fish?

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20. 67

    hublimposted 14 years ago

    2 fish are in a tank.
    
    One says to the other, how do you drive this thing?

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21. 61

    Sauvignonposted 14 years ago

    How do you make a hankie dance?
    
    Put a lil boogie in it
    
    -thank you nephew!

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22. 0

    poetlorraineposted 14 years ago

    what do you call a chinese lady with a mixer on her head
    
                  Blenda

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23. 0

    poetlorraineposted 14 years ago

    how many irish people does it take to change a light bulb
       
             THE light bulb has got to want to change

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24. 73

    Himitsu Shugishaposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say boy who goes to bed with sex problem on mind, wakes up with solution on hand.

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25. 0

    Wag The Dogposted 14 years ago

    It is only 99% of lawyers that make the rest look bad.
    
    

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    1. 61

       Sauvignonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL

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26. 0

    Wag The Dogposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say "He who fart in church, sits in own pew."

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27. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    An advert:
    
    Today Hannibal Lecter will read a lecture on delicious and nutritious food.

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28. 62

    ediggityposted 14 years ago

    What do you call cheese that's not yours?
    
    Nach yo cheese.

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29. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Never be afraid to do something you know nothing about.
    Remember: Noah's Ark was built by amateurs, and professionals built Titanic.

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30. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Love = unlimited happiness for a limited time.

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31. 62

    ediggityposted 14 years ago

    What's the worst thing to tell an inmate when they ask you to do something?
    
    
    Feel free.

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32. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Advert in hospital, maternity ward:
    
    Deliver two - get the third for free!

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33. 59

    sooner than laterposted 14 years ago

    what do you call a fish without an eye(i).
    FSHHHHHH

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34. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    When suddenly, in the middle of the night a fat man sneaks into your room and starts stuffing you into his bag, don't worry.
    That only means that someone has requested a present for Christmas - you.

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35. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    A sticker on the back of the car:
    
    Don't follow me, I'm lost!

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36. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Half of the politicians do not know how to do anything.
    The rest of them do anything.

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37. 61

    SoftCornHippoposted 14 years ago

    Bumper-sticker:
    Hey! What if the hoochie-coochie IS what its all about?!

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38. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    A worm looking at a plate full of spaghetti:
    - Wow! That's what I call proper group sex..

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39. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    "Here's my apartment" - thought the rabbit.
    "Here's my dinner" - thought the python.

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40. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    - Miss, bananas can also be eaten...

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41. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Why there is no cat food with mouse flavour?

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42. 47

    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks through airport door sideways is going to bangcock

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43. 47

    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks behind bus will get exhausted

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44. 47

    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks in front of bus gets tired

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45. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Dogs are unlucky:
    all of them are either bitches, or their sons...

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46. 47

    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    they obviously named oranges before they named carrots

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47. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    When God created a man, he did not get a patent for his invention, so now every idiot can do the same.

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48. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    If you have too much money, that only means you lack immagination.

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49. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    People spend less time in prison than you spend online

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50. 61

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    I wonder where mazochists go after death - to heaven or hell?

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