can you do it? Make us laugh in 2 lines?hmmmmno mamma fat jokes allowed - too easyall skinny ones permitted ha just made one, cracking myself up
One muffin in the oven says to another, "God it's hot in here!"The other says, "Oh no! It's a talking muffin!!!"
Where do you find a one-legged dog?Where you left it.
a fish swan into a wall...... dammmmmmmmmmmm.
One does a one-legged girl standing next to a bldg call herself?Eileen
Where does she work?IHOP
What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground beef.
This is awesome!!
What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs?Bob
Confuscious say man who has hole in pocket feel cocky all day!
Husband: "Whatever I say, goes!"Wife: "Have fun talking to yourself!"
Wife: "Why are you home so early?"Husband: "My boss told me to go to hell!"
"What did you do before you got married?""Whatever I wanted."
Democracy: Where your vote counts.Feudalism: Where your Count votes.COME ON!!! Where is everybody?!
A sandwich goes into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says -Go away. We don't serve food.
your killing me
Woman: "I can't go out w/ a perfect stranger like you."Man: "Who said I was perfect?"
A train station is where a train STOPS.That's how I get to my work station.
A Scotsman won the lottery but was very sad . . .mainly because of the dollar he wasted on the second ticket.
Customer: "Do you serve women at this bar?"Bartender: "No, sir. You must bring your own."
A pair of jump leads walk into a bar.The barman says, you two better not start anything.
Two Parrots are sitting on a Perch.One says to the other, do you smell fish?
2 fish are in a tank.One says to the other, how do you drive this thing?
How do you make a hankie dance?Put a lil boogie in it -thank you nephew!
what do you call a chinese lady with a mixer on her head Blenda
how many irish people does it take to change a light bulb THE light bulb has got to want to change
Confucius say boy who goes to bed with sex problem on mind, wakes up with solution on hand.
It is only 99% of lawyers that make the rest look bad.
Confucius say "He who fart in church, sits in own pew."
An advert:Today Hannibal Lecter will read a lecture on delicious and nutritious food.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?Nach yo cheese.
Never be afraid to do something you know nothing about.Remember: Noah's Ark was built by amateurs, and professionals built Titanic.
Love = unlimited happiness for a limited time.
What's the worst thing to tell an inmate when they ask you to do something?Feel free.
Advert in hospital, maternity ward:Deliver two - get the third for free!
what do you call a fish without an eye(i). FSHHHHHH
When suddenly, in the middle of the night a fat man sneaks into your room and starts stuffing you into his bag, don't worry. That only means that someone has requested a present for Christmas - you.
A sticker on the back of the car:Don't follow me, I'm lost!
Half of the politicians do not know how to do anything. The rest of them do anything.
Bumper-sticker:Hey! What if the hoochie-coochie IS what its all about?!
A worm looking at a plate full of spaghetti:- Wow! That's what I call proper group sex..
"Here's my apartment" - thought the rabbit."Here's my dinner" - thought the python.
- Miss, bananas can also be eaten...
Why there is no cat food with mouse flavour?
Confucius say that man who walks through airport door sideways is going to bangcock
Confucius say that man who walks behind bus will get exhausted
Confucius say that man who walks in front of bus gets tired
Dogs are unlucky: all of them are either bitches, or their sons...
they obviously named oranges before they named carrots
When God created a man, he did not get a patent for his invention, so now every idiot can do the same.
If you have too much money, that only means you lack immagination.
People spend less time in prison than you spend online
I wonder where mazochists go after death - to heaven or hell?
by Daffy Duck9 months ago
There are millions of jokes out there. Everyone says they have a great one. What's the funniest one?
by Matthew I Crawford5 years ago
Q: If a blonde and a brunette fall off a building at the exact same time, which one lands first?A: The brunette; the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?A: She opens...
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