Let's make a fairytale together line by line.
So I'll start
"Once upon a time, in a faraway land lived a little boy who only had one shoe."
That was fitting, however, because the little boy had only one foot.
There was also a wicked mutton farmer in the land named Randy Godwin.
This put the fear of Godwin in the hearts of sheep everywhere,
especially in the wee heart of Denno - for Denno was a fat young lamb, just the kind the evil Earl of Godwin loved to eat.
Also living in the land was a kind, wise, beautiful good witch named Habee.
Whom was an avid reader of comic books and dressed very much like the Green Lantern in ode to him.
In fact, when the green-clad Habee took to horse, she was often referred to as the Green Knight.
then comes along a 8 foot tall knight that rode on a black stallion. who weilds a sword that was half size of a normal man's body as legend foretold. his blade was so sharp, it could easily cut anyone just by looking at it. He was over 300 lbs of solid muscle, as everyone throughout the land was scared of him, even his employer Godwin himself was affraid of him. however, godwin would often invoke the dark knight to do his dastardly deeds for him.
The Valiant Green Knight in fact as bards would sing praises of all the good deeds and whispered dreaded rumors of her Green Lantern fanclub which only a select few would know of its secret handshake.
it was no secret the green knight and the dark knight that worked for godwin, were mortal enemies. as the dark knight would often have his sights to kill him or anyone else willing to stand in his way.
His fierce reputation was known across the land. For he was the evildoer who chopped off the boy's foot, during a fierce battle outside the golden gates of Mishaland.
So, as it happened, one bright morning the boy left his home for a trip to the market, aboard his trusty sheep-steed, Denno.
denno and the boy rode off into the wildness as they tried to take a short cut through the woods to make it to the market before it closed. unfortunately running into a pack of trolls that lived in there.
the trolls surrounded the boy and denno as they tried to rob them
Fortunately the boy and denno had a plan to trick these thieving trolls.
but then the Green Knight, who was speaking at an impromptu Green Lantern fanclub meeting in the forest, heard the cries of the boy and jumped on her Appaloosa stallion.
the trolls snarled and growled at the boy and denno as they planned on cooking and eating the flesh off their bones once they've stolen from them
The leader of the trolls, Hookah, had a magic pipe that made the smoker invisible.
Unfortunately, Hookah remembered he'd run out of Imperceptible Baccy. Trolls are not the brightest of creatures.
the green knight arrives onto the scene staring at the troll leader with udder disgust. "Unhand that boy and sheep", she yells at the trolls as she pulls out her sword and sticks it pointing at his throat.
The trolls cackled and shrieked, 'Unhand them, well of course" with toothy smiles "we will unhand , and unhead and finish off unfooting the boy" ...it will be wonderful.
"What chance do you stand against us, Witch?, We care not if you stab our leader, more meat for us all!"
There was a contemplative pause from trolls after careful consideration of what they'd previous said giving the Green Knight one lecherous leer, "unless of course you are willing to give us something in return, cash or checks anything is fine. Well maybe dinner and a movie too?"
as they're talking the boy and sheep look at each other and green knight frighteningly. as they both try to come up with a means to escape somehow
It seemed as if the sheep, the Green Witch and the small boy were quite literally not on solid footing, although the Trolls were still held at bay by the Witches sword point, it was quite obvious that the hungry trolls were quickly losing control and would soon descend ferociously upon our hapless protagonists.
Although it pained the footless boy, it seemed as if the sheep may end up a sacrificial lamb,
...a plan was formulating
Suddenly the sheep both got their chance to escape and green knight get frighten more.
The Green knight who still has a sword and mighty valor, decides it will be cold day in hell before she is sacrificed when their is a perfectly good lamb available, she glowers menacingly at the boy...who doesnt stand a chance of running away from the hungry trolls with a sheep as a his steed
suddenly the dark knight appeared standing at 8 feet tall and 300 lbs of solid muscle. pulling out his sword, excelsior, as legend has foretold it to be so sharp it can cut you just by looking at it. he stares down at the trolls as he sends terror down their spines. snarling at them as he says,"don't touch the green knight, for if anyone will kill her, its going to be me. do whatever you want to the boy and sheep. i care not for them, but leave the green knight to me." staring her down angrily.
To follow Sunforged: Habee gave a quick whistle to Necromancer, her valiant steed, and she leapt onto his back, plucking the hapless boy from the clutches of the evil trolls. Away they flew, back to the meeting of the Green Lantern fanclub, where the one-footed boy was made an honorary member. Poor Denno was eaten, doused liberally with special Troll BBQ Sauce. Rumor had it that he tasted like chicken.
To follow Steven: Habee and the evil knight, Sunforged, locked eyes. The bloodthirsty trolls stood breathlessly watching, waiting to devour human flesh. They cared not which knight fell...(next?)
the dark knight snarls at the trolls as he swings his mighty sword and slashes the trolls in half at lightning speed. slaughtering and maiming the trolls as he leaves nothing for a trail filled with blood behind as his sword chops off their limbs and heads after cutting them in half. mercillessly killing them.
When the village Good Fairy, Lady Lisa, happened upon the remains of the trolls she mused, "Oh, my. Such unpleasantness must never remain in Fairy Tale Village; and with that she used her magic powers to magically restore the trolls to their former, living, whole, selves. The trolls, moved by Lady Lisa's magic and benevolence, vowed to share kindness and caring with all who encountered them from that day on. Ah, but alas, as the trolls set out to share kindness and caring they came upon a jealous wizard with some magic of his own.
This old grarled wizard, Stevennix, was capable of both good and evil.
gnawing away he realized he had to pee and couldn't hold it any longer
Stevennix also served the Earl of Godwin, who was furious that the trolls had eaten the tender lamb that he was planning on roasting for Michaelmas.
'Bring me the heads of these Trolls' he bellowed as he stamped his feet and pulled at his hair.
Then all of a sudden a JayJay Bird flew through the window, with a message tied around one of his claws. It was titled to......
Who ever it may concern, I am locked in a tall tower, next to the lake of strange happenings, behind the mountain of the purple dragons. Help!!
Odd, the Great Juju of all Stevennix couldn't read the pleads of help in this pictographic language of stick people. At the very best the pseudo cry for help looked to be written by a five year old with bright red crayons. "Huh, looks like they were aiming for a cliff hanger," Stevennix mused turning the letter right side up and upside down trying to make heads and tails of it.
Ironically, the bird had actually once been a fearless knight named Sir Jay, who had been turned into a bird by Stevennix.
unfortunately for the earl of godwin, he was not aware of stevennix's elaborate plan to overthrow him for his thrown. for stevennix was considered to be the most powerful warlock throughout the land becuase of his vast knowledge within the dark arts. along with his secret alliance with the dark knight, they both scheme on how to overthrow godwin.
All that stood in the way were the Green Knight and the boy. YOu see, the boy was actually the rightful heir to the throne.
that is why the dark knight and green knight were such mortal enemies. for you see, it was no secret, that since the boy's birth, the green knight has been assigned to protect him no matter what; even at the expense of her own life. The green knight was always proud of her honor and heritage over fame or riches.
Whereas the dark knight was nothing more than a cold hearted mercenary, who'd kill his own mother, for a bag full of gold. indeed his cruelty knew no bounds as his only value was money alone. that is why, stevennix values his services dearly. for you see, once stevennix takes over the kingdom, he planned on making the dark knight colonel of the entire imperial army. thus, making the dark knight richer than he's ever could've imagined.
It is for this reason alone, the dark knight's sole purpose is to kill the green knight and the boy, by any means necessary.
However, not knowing the identity of the Green Knight, the Black Knight would not have predicted that this boy, in deed, was his son.
by Holle Abee6 years ago
I just thought you guys should know.
by sagebrush_mama5 years ago
Just killed what we think is a Mojave green, but I'm not sure about the head shape...my understanding is that more triangular is venemous whereas less so may be non-venemous. No rattle, but very VERY heavy green...
by Person of Interest3 years ago
And he needs 3 more followers to hit 1K. Please make it happen. http://randygodwin.hubpages.com/
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