why am i always angry?

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   chinweikeposted 14 years ago

   Couple of hours ago, a friend of mine asked me a question that threw me into thinking for a while he asked "chinweike, why is it is that i always find myself struggling to be happy?"
   
   I became short of words and simply told him to try and be happy.
   
   Now, fellow hubbers, what do you suggest i tell him?
   
   Tanx a lot in anticipation!

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      tell him to have to think positively and only he can find happiness for himself, and try not to be frustrated and learn to accept things as they are and do things in the direction he wants himslef to be, and most of all smile and socialize with happy people

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         The word 'positive thinking' is what he never want to hear.
         As for smiling, i think i will sell this idea to him. Thanks

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            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            does he have a gf?

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               chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, a pretty one for that matter. I even sometimes wish i could have her for a night! hehehe LOL!

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      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ok.. start with the physical..
      
      Nutrition... lots of fruit and veg.  Little alcohol or none. exercise regime.  4oz of meat a day.  All these promote well being.
      
      Psychological...  Is there some unhappiness or issues from childhood.  Did he feel rejected and bad as a child.  When did this stem?
      
      Environmental...  basic need (Maslow)... Has he enough money to live, A job? relationship?   a safe roof place to live?
      
      Health.. is he in pain or have any health issues.
      
      Somewhere amongst this list lies the unhappiness or a start to get to the route of wellbeing.
      
      I hope this helps and some challenging comments are always welcome! x

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      DogSiDaedposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Is there something he feels is holding him back? Is there something he wants to do? Getting hobbies always helped me, a busy mind can't be upset so much
      
      Sometimes it can be integral, hormone imbalances and such can cause an individual to become more susceptible to depression, so if nothing helps him, then perhaps he could get checked for a hormon deficiency.

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      Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe he's just a serious-minded person?   Nothing wrong with that either....

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         But i watch him go down every day

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      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i have no idea why a friend asking a simple question like that would make you angry.

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I wasn't angry just short of words and wanted to get the opinion of fellow hubbers

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      prosmentorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Let him give his life to Jesus Christ, the only source of Joy.

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Ok! i will surely tell him that, but how do i make him believe this since he is a bit on the doubting side?

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         rialeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         LOLOL ok thats your believe but what if this person is a non-believer like me... I am happy and Pagan.

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   tantrumposted 14 years ago

   Maybe he's looking for happiness in the wrong direction.

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      chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ok! I have noted this

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   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   He needs to surround himself with happy. Stay away from doom and gloom and biting sorrow as much as possible. If ya wanna be happy, hang with it.

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      chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you. I was even thinking of telling him that. thanks

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   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Happiness starts with a internal audit of oneself before able to find happiness with others.

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      chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You sound like an auditor. Are you one? LOL!
      
      I have equally noted your reply. thanks

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      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I believe this is sound advice.

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I agree

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5. 0

   Denno66posted 14 years ago

   Some people are just predisposed to being angry and/or sad and happiness is the rare exception to the rule.

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      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maslow's hieracay of needs is about achieving self actualisation i.e. happiness.  He does say  that it isnt sustainable and you go through spells of self actualisation, so I think half of what you say is right.  However, if you can identify aspects in life, you can correct them and stack the odds of happiness in your favour.
      
      For example, happiness is marred if you are in pain or you lost your job.. all this relates to maslow.
      
      
      What do you think my bb? x

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         Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You mean I can blame Maslow for my losing my job? All kidding aside, I was referring to a report a Psychologist whose name escapes me, said that Human Beings are merely angry beings with occasional outbreaks of Happiness. I do, however, agree with you that we can bring more Happiness into our lives by overriding the influences of anger and sadness, yes.

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            shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, I know the psychologists, but cant remember.  But the critism of this is that life development changes and evolves and you are more likely to be angrier in your teens than in your 70s.  Hormones have a lot to do with it amongst other aspects.
            
            For example... pre menstruating women are more likely to be angrier during this time of the month because the hormones become out of balance... some people suffer more or less and the condition can be eleviated with a change in diet.
            
            People, another example, are more likely to be stressed if they have a high carb, full fat diet without the necessary balance of fruit veg etc.  They are malnurished although they suffer obesity.  Is the point clearer now?
            
            Critise me... come on... bring it on! hehehe x

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               Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Okay, first off; You need a shower! Secondly; I noticed the difference a great deal when I first went back to college ten years ago. The students were so apathetic about their lives and could not understand why a 30-something generally regarded life with a sense of upbeat enthusiasm despite the crap I went through at their age. Wisdom tempers the anger if you've learned from your adversities, otherwise you just become more angry(That I've seen in my contemporaries as well). There, short enough for ya?

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                  shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Yo baby!  What a way to go!  Glad I could get you to see it my way... IN THE END! lol
                  
                  Oh... I like being a dirty woman, so there! lol

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                     Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Giggity.

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                        shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        when are you starting college babes?  Will you pop here from time to time?  We will all miss your bar...king tones, so dont be too long x

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                           Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                           I start school next week, and I do intend on popping in at least a few times a week; have no fear. I probably won't be publishing very many more stories though; something's gotta give.   

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                              shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              I wanted some time to work through your jump hubs.. I noticed it is upto chapter 10 now!  DONT TELL ME THE PLOT!  Im glad you will still be around BB x

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                                 Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Okay, you twisted my arm then...This is how it ends... I can't leave these forums; I enjoy the people in them far too much.

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                              Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              Toddling back to school lad! Great for ya, work hard, have fun, and above all B Koo-EL

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                                 Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Yeah, a 43 year-old amongst 19 year-olds; I'll blend right in!

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                                    shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                    the younger ones like to tap into experience of the older man... watch your... errr....???????

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                                       Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                       You single , got hair? Steady Sheep focus focus,! You automatically win the debates with the 19 year old mind o mush since you've already tried whatever they say and you know it aint gonna work! The lassies know that too, they'll be hunting you like mountain lions in heat... Walk the trail with care and focus!

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                                       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                       That is an undisputable truth

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      How can you even think that?

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         Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Read on Chum.

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   h.a.borcichposted 14 years ago

   I define happiness as the difference between what I expect and what I get. If I expect alot and get little, the difference is huge and I am unhappy. But if I expect little and get little, I am content. If I expect little and get alot I am happy! Keeping the gap short is where I find happiness

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      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      if you expect nothing then you are NEVER disappointed!  Quite right, my friend x

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   efeguyposted 14 years ago

   tell him to leave stress behind.
   
   tell him to think less and happiness will keep coming

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   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   You even look angry, maybe ask yourself what makes me happy and grow from there. Good Luck

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      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      this is good, but you need to have a baseline assessment in order to draw a plan of how to get there.  That is why, although boring etc, it is essential to have assessment.  The cycle is APIE... assess, plan, implement and evaluate.  You cant get anywhere without assessment, that is why I asked those questions (although not comprehensive enough ... but this is internet!). lol x

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      chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hehehe. Am a lively person but, not photogenic

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   K Partinposted 14 years ago

   Have him come on the forums and vent!

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      Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah!

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    Denno66posted 14 years ago

    I did have that, um, situation occur several times the last time I went. I DO need to be careful.

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    Hmrjmr1posted 14 years ago

    Good Luck my friend that trail is full of 'potholes' (or ho's any way) along the trails edge, walk with care and focus on the prize ahead. (But have fun too!)

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    Denno66posted 14 years ago

    Thanks, but, my wife is the focus of my attentions and,as pleasing to eye as they(youngins) may be, the generation gap is too insurmountable for it to even be an allure.

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       Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You are aluck sheep! GoodO!

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    Denno66posted 14 years ago

    Yep. I just looked over at my wife when I read that. Thanks , bud.

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    tell him to become a Hubber and chat with all of us - we'll keep him happier!  seriously!

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       tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Sure !

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    Denno66posted 14 years ago

    Or we could just make him angrier...I'm just saying...

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    uliveulearnposted 14 years ago

    Form a plan, do something, anything, move forward, be grateful, laugh, cry, live, learn, be happy and pass it on.  Sometimes it's making the choice.

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       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       How can i tell a person that is already angry to cry? or do you want me to send someone to an early grave? LOL!

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    uliveulearnposted 14 years ago

    I have been angry and held on to feelings too long.  Sometimes crying helps as a start to get things out.

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       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Really? this is the fisrt time a i am hearing that crying can make one happy. Ok! then i will ask my friend to try crying

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    the little fairy can take away all your anger - no charge!

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       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       hehehehe

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    Alessia Amnesiaposted 14 years ago

    Something I always do when I'm feeling angry, sad, or upset is write it all out on paper. I don't stop until I feel exhausted and have gotten it all out of me. I then take it outside, light it on fire with a match, and watch the ashes float away. After this, I feel much happier and more at peace with myself. Burning my problems and watching them drift away gives me a sense of empowerment. Perhaps your friend could try an exercise like that?

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       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That is speaking from the supernatural/ religious perpectives? Ok! i will tell him to try this out. Thanks for your suggestion

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          Alessia Amnesiaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          No, there's nothing religious or supernatural about it. It's an exercise I was encouraged to try by a therapist and it really worked for me.

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             chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Ok!

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    rialeeposted 14 years ago

    This person needs to be reminded what they have to be thankful for...Are they breathing? Are they in mostly good health?? Do they have food and shelter??
    And they have at least one good friend, right? well there are somethings to be grateful bout...that should make them happy.
    My point is they have more than many in this world then they should be happy.
    Sorry but I have had leukemia and other cancers and I am still relatively happy.
    Good luck with your friend Chinweike
    cheers

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    ddsurfscaposted 14 years ago

    Anger usually stems from frustration or
    jelousy or
    anxiety or
    lack of understanding.
    Get to the bottom of what it is that is beginning it.

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