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Ok, Joke time

  1. thirdmillenium profile image71
    thirdmilleniumposted 6 years ago

    The priest at the altar demands: who among you are he and he?
    All men stand up.
    The priest thunders: "you will all go to hell, and who are she and she?
    All women stand up. Priest is livid: "you will all go a special hell"

    Little Johnny had stood up neither time. Priest is relieved that there is at least one member of the congregation who is not a sinner.

    Now Litte Johnny gets up timidly and asks: "What about me and me?"

  2. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 6 years ago

    Priest goes into his hotel bedroom,
    Porn channel is not working.
    Priest goes down to the reception,
    Excuse me manager is the porn in my room disabled?
    No you sick feaker it is just ordinary porn.

    1. 0
      lyricsingrayposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol lol

    2. Urbane Chaos profile image90
      Urbane Chaosposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      That's good stuff right there!!

  3. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 6 years ago

    Doctor, Doctor, I feel like Im a pair of curtains
    For Gods sake man pull yourself together... smile

    1. 0
      lyricsingrayposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol  your killing me  lol

  4. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 6 years ago

    Yes Mrs Jones what is your problem.
    Well doctor every time my husband presses my right breast I pass wind,
    I see, take this cream and rub it on your right breast for one week and then come back,
    Hello doctor you said to come back in one week,
    Jump up on the table there and I will squeeze that big old titty, Jesus almighty Christ,
    Doctor whats wrong, what is it, what are you going to do with that big long pole,
    Im going to open the window, your pure rotten.......... smile

  5. tobey100 profile image61
    tobey100posted 6 years ago

    What do you get when you cross a woman with ESP in possession of a GPS?

    A scarey witch that WILL find you!

    1. Daniel Carter profile image90
      Daniel Carterposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol  lol

      I think I met her...

      1. tobey100 profile image61
        tobey100posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        I know I dated her a couple of times!

  6. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 6 years ago

    Doctor doctor I think Im a snooker ball,

    Just get to the end of the cue.....

  7. Urbane Chaos profile image90
    Urbane Chaosposted 6 years ago

    I always loved this one:

    So this guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing a pair of pants made out of clear Saran Wrap.  The psychiatrist takes one look at him and promptly says "well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

    And this one, while completly stupid, took me about a week to get. Once I got it, I "LMAO" for about an hour:

    So, two men walk into a bar.  The third man ducked.

    1. tobey100 profile image61
      tobey100posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Horse walks into a bar.  Bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

    2. thirdmillenium profile image71
      thirdmilleniumposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Hello Urbane
      Can't quite get it and I am not about to wait for a week like you did.
      Please let me in.
      Thanks

  8. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 6 years ago

    Urban like your style smile

  9. brimancandy profile image82
    brimancandyposted 6 years ago

    This one is a bit dirty.

    A boy comes home from school early, and finds his parents naked on the living room floor. He asks what they are doing?

    The father says, we are just playing poker I am the king and your mother is the queen. The boy says ok.

    The boy comes home a few days later and finds them naked again.
    His dad says. Just playing poker again, I'm the king and your mom is the queen. The boy says, alright. I get it.

    A few hours later the father goes up to his son's bedroom to tell him that dinner is ready, and finds him playing with himself. He is horrified?

    What the heck are you doing son?

    Playing Poker. The son replies as he beats away.

    You can't play poker like that, you don't have a queen!

    The boy responds, who needs a queen to play poker when you have a great hand like this!

 
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