My one regret is not being able to dance with my dad or my husband at a wedding reception. still hurts at times that I couldn't have a more "normal" wedding with a reception. I do hope that one day my husband and I can have an acrual reception...maybe for our 5th anniversary or something. I still want to dance with my husbad and my dad.
Fortunately, I got out of it I still use the scientific, biomedical background as a translator, but I get to play with languages and words. I do enjoy my work, just wish I could do a little less to have more me time and hub writing time.
My regrets run deep, yet I can not mention them . They were the past and I have moved on.I would love to change some things, but it is too late now, so I will not even bring them up.. but for those affected, if you ever read this ( which I know 1 of you have passed away and the other will most likely never see this, you know what I am talking about and I am sorry beyond all I can express to you )...
I probably should have but I don't. If I had it to do all over again I'd do the same things, suffer the same pains and go through the same hardships. They're what made me who I am. I can't regret what led to the life I have now, my children, wife, even where I live. I guess I just don't have that bone in my body.
I used to have a lot of regrets. There have been so many things gone wrong in my life. But I finally came to the conclusion that regardless of who did what to me, I could either learn from it, or become bitter by it. If I learned, it's a positive. If I become bitter, it's just not willing to take responsibility for my life.
I also realized that every thought, action, decision and choice has brought me to this point in my life, and therefore, I'm a victim of nothing, and so, I have the power to change the future by changing the present. I try not to live with regrets. And if I do make mistakes, in most cases it's course correction, not a catastrophe.
Maybe that's a lot of cerebral crap, but it's how I've had to look at things to survive and discover life can be good.
It's not a lot of "cerebral crap" as you called it. I enjoyed reading your resposnse and yes I agree need to learn that is why I regret only one thing that is more recent and truthfully closer to my heart with the wedding reception and all. I am who I am because of the past and I have stopped living in my past just not the more recent past
Totally agree. I think this where coming together as we are doing really helps us get a perspective for our own lives. Old habits are hard to break, MOW, but if we really want to get past them, we can in time. It's often a slow process. Besides, you are dynamic in so many ways, I think, and capable. It will come together.
thanks...I actually do agree completely with you. I think giving into regrets and resentments just turns your heart bitter at some level.....and I could never let that happen. Positivity within translates to every thing we do.....and 'good' things just keep finding you then...!
I regret not reaching out to my biological parents, I don't really know why I regret this?? They obviously didn't care for me. I have no idea if they are alive or where they may be. After all this time I still think about them from time to time. I haven't seen my father since I was 8, my mother since I was 12 and then it was only in passing. I saw her while we were at a traffic light and she was in the car next to us, I recognized her instantly and smiled she gave nothing in return just a vacant stare. I was once again crushed by the one who should have loved me most.
Only thing I regret about my biological parents isn ot getting their medical history but I can change that. I am sorry that you regret not knowing them. and it's not that they didn't care about you...it's that they weren't able to care for you so they did what they knew would be best for you, giving you to a loving family who could raise you.
Well, but, really, if we dwell on our regrets too much, don't they just become a part of our baggage? I mean they do prevent us from moving forward most often. They effect our relationships and how we view life and everything else.
I think the *only* good purpose of a regret is that it becomes a gift for us to learn from, unload and move on. Even the worst regrets could be categorized this way, I think.
Nope. I could say I regret not being able to see my 6th boy grow up but that's not really a regret. It's more of a loss or sorrow and not really baggage. We accumulate enough baggage just living, we don't need to pile on more by adding something from the past we can't change. Ok, this is starting to make me tear up.
Well, it might be. But as you said, I think you have to sort out what is actual grief and sorrow from the bitterness of regret. A course correction and moving forward can remove the bitterness, but it doesn't have to remove the grief and sorrow. But I think we have to decide for ourselves what it may actually be.
I still have some grief and sorrow over things that happened to me and things I did. But I don't have any bitterness about most of it. The good news is that in forgiving and being forgiven the grief and sorrow are also lessened quite a bit.
We just have to be able to kind of be our own doctor about our internal things, but it really does help to share and get perspectives on it.
Loss is hardest of all to feel any resolve or peace for me. I've lost a lot of people in my life. It never gets easier.
Um, well, that's a tough one. I don't know if it helps, and I'm really NOT trying to self promote, but a lot of my thinking on this subject is summed up in a hub I wrote. I shook as I wrote it because it was such an emotional experience. It's called "There Is a Meadow."
Almost brings tears to my eyes now. The friend that I hiked with in the story melted down and is nowhere to be found. He was like a twin brother. But I learned a lot.
We all have this kind of wisdom in us. It's so cool that we express it in different ways, which will reach into someone and create a whole new perspective, give hope and so much more.
Tobey, fears of those old closets are natural. I've opened almost all of mine and dealt with the demons. It's deep crap. Backed up toilets, I call them. But you seem to have a great family, and if it ever came right down to it, you know they would be there through it.
I had no idea I could survive what I did, but it was unconditional acceptance and love from people who I adopted as family that got me through it. We usually all have those people in our lives. They come when we need them, most often.
I've had regrets, I've had few...wait that sounds like a Sinatra song, Doh!
I agree with Daniel, I think things could have worked out differently if I've done things differently, but I believe in second chances so you just have to be aware when something comes by that you really want, to grab the opportunity.
Crazd, you'll get a chance to dance with your Dad and Hubby at your "real" wedding reception.
There is most likely a time when you'll deal with it and be at peace. What I learned was it comes at you when you least expect it. When you think your life is pretty good, feeling safe, etc. But that's just what happened to me. It's different for everyone. And it's actually good when it happens.
hmmm...i would say, but i have enough regrets in life to fill up the hoover dam if i listed all of them. lol. however, i try to never dwell on the past. if i could correct a few things about my past, I would've taken a lot more chances and I would've tried to be there more for my mom when she was still married to my father.
I am glad that you aren't letting it stop you from moving forward. yes the past will have some hold on us but all we can do is more forward. and you now know that you can trust your instinct so you have learned
My biggest regret is not finding the internet earlier, like the late 90's, I could have been rich by now with all the stuff I'm doing, would have dominated the arts niche and no one would be able to touch my incredible coolness except me...I can feel a five knuckle shuffle coming on oh yeah!
Well this may be my last post here for awhile. I have been fighting foreclosure since November of 2009, and today we finally ran out of options. So, as much as I love HP and the people here, other priorities are going...