Everywhere I look people are upset and threatening to leave over the forums and I don't get it. Who cares if someone disagrees with your point of view? You dont have to wake up next to them in the morning so why does it matter so much?
It doesn't matter to me.
I think it's lack of self-confidence or too much pride.
I find it funny. To take forums seriously is childish.
Sometimes you don't even know who the other hubber is. So, why would you care ?
I agree. A lot of times if i see a thread that catches my eye I wont even post to it if people are bickering back and forth. I just go somewhere else.
I have to admit, sometimes I post something outrageous to 'disturb' someone. I love that word ! Disturb.
Someone used it today to say bumping threads may disturb someone.
Forums are very funny !
I think for a lot of people if others don't believe, follow or respect their opinion, it is a serious offense.
Though people like that tend to need a life.
Darkside It seems to me that if people would state their opinion in a clear concise manner they would gain more respect than they get by fighting.
Some people have control of their actions and reactions.
And I can't remember the rest of my reply because I can't see the text I quoted
Why would would any want to have a discussion with someone who agreed with every thing they say? That's just a waste of air? Besides, there are forum topics you can choose that have no controversy (Pick a word...).
Does anyone remember THE LITTLE FOXES? Remember Birdie? All she wanted was for everybody to be nice and kind. And everyone in her family considered her a fool.
You can have a dis-agree with someones opinion without arguing with them. It only becomes an argument when people take it to seriously.
Ok. I think what I enjoy is a good debate that tries to settle a question. What bothers me is people who make circular arguments or make the topic about them and how smart they are. If you stay on topic and your focus is only on the topic; you can get as heated or passionate as you want.
yeah, i have to agree with that. to be honest, i think the main problem in debates on forums is everyone wants to be right, while ignoring the other person's point of view or argument. Which kind of defeats the purpose of having an intellectual debate to begin with.
Well i don't take forums seriously. It is quite trend these days here to pick people up randomly and offend just for the sake of timepass. Thread bumping was valid point as nelle said and thread titles do show up in related items in sidebar that does affect hub. So instead of talking on these points people end up posting smiley to each of their post and hijack threads and remark on others. I have no problem with that, i can use them for my timepass if they persist.
I'm sorry but you are absolutely wrong - I do not take these posts seriously, and if you ever say so again...well....I'm just going to sit in a corner and cry!
Well if thats what you want to do the do it! BUT DONT SAY IT WAS MY FAULT!
I really don't know. I suspect it's different reasons for different people.
I don't understand it, either. Sorry, I'm not much help. :-)
Some people do seem to use the forums for attention, but I don't really understand why, unless it's just an extension of their basic personality. In other words, if they are narcissistic attention-seekers here, perhaps they are that way in their personal lives, too.
Maybe thats why I started this thread. Maybe I should look for a narcissistic attention-seekers support group. LOL
I used to live with one, so I tend to recognize them here, and you're not one.
I'm narcissistic ! We can start a group if you want
Tantrum a cant start a group of anything I cant figure out how to quote to reply (Quote) to more than one person at a time.
Don't worry ! the group will be small. Nobody likes to accept their narcissistic vein
LOL you are probably right and could you imagine the chaos it would cause trying to promote it in the forums: Narcissistic Attention-Seekers Unite. hehehehe
LOL!! I would like to see, who are the ones that would come forward !
Me! I want to join! I have good reasons too - I am one of the very worst attention-seekers and I know it! I kind of like being an attention seeker - needy, needy, needy! But just answer one thing - will we have to do 12 steps or anything to try to get over being narcissitic attention seekers? because I don't want to get over it - I don't care whether anybody respects me - I don't even care whether people are not coming to the forum threads because of people like me! I'm having more fun than I've had in ages! This is one of the best soap opera scenes! And it never quits! sign me up
all this drama !! People saying they're out of the forums for people like us !!
I think they're right. They should focus on writing hubs to earn money, instead of getting pissed off on this forums
you're signed up of course !
thanks - I know I'll get alot out of being one of your proteges! I have already learned to lighten up a bit from you, and I was already floating! But no, the forums, especially the threads I frequent should not be taken seriously. I did not know that forums were promoted on the hubs - I've noticed questions and hubs promoted alongside my hubs, but not forums - I will look again.
cocks are chickens and pussies are cats, after all.
I guess, I haven't really pursued the commercial end of hubbing because HubPages actually promotes the site as being many things to many people - one of those things is a place to write for the pleasure of writing and relate to others who share your perspective on writing. When I first came to the forums several hubbers were joking around with pirate humor, thinly veiled references to "intercourse" with each other, and just generally flirting, joking and having a good time. They seemed to know each other pretty well.
The fighting and banning didn't show up until I was here a couple weeks. It surprised me a little, but on the whole I thought it was just drama, and I still do. I don't like it when people are rude to each other, I get very uncomfortable with that. But I am glad this is not a stodgy, conservative place where everybody is just upholding each other's agenda. (and that's about as serious as I can be about that!)
Maybe they are just bored and it's their way of getting their blood flowing. Either that or they are just control freaks.
The only thing I've been upset about is that skanky titles that some people find funny are ending up on my hubs, because HP includes a Related Forums widget to the right. If these titles are put in categories they end up in our hubs in those categories - then it becomes my business. There are several categories on HP that I won't touch because of the forum titles and my belief that they are incompatible with adsense. But some of that goes with the category. But when it ends up in things like the Pets forum like it has recently, then it's ridiculous and I'm glad HP moved these topics to the sandpit this morning.
The forums really don't matter to me at all, and I'm spending less and less time here. I tried to help people who needed help making money, but the constant sexual inuendo and hijacking of threads is something that I don't need. It isn't funny to me - it's boring.
There is always going to be the tension between people here for money and people here to fool around. And as I say, keep it off my hubs and I could care less. I know how to make money on HP - I don't need to come to the forums to do it.
Nelle I am sorry that this is happening to you I for one feel that everyone here could benifit from your experiance if they would pay attention. I know you have helped me out, without even knowing it.
Some of the titles have been appalling lately!
One thing I wish is that the forum threads that were displayed were kept timely. It seems there needs to be someway to shut down a thread, so that it does not keep popping up. I came across one from two years ago tonight, and if I hadn't looked at the dates, would have responded to it.
I do wonder about adults who get off on bumping threads, but if that's what you, it's really fine with me.
Sometimes, you learn things about people that you wish you didn't know. That can be upsetting.
Other times, people respond to you in a completely bizzar manner, making you wonder if you are capable of communicating through the written word. That also can be upsetting.
Sometimes the bickering is out of control, but no one says you have to be involved. You did have a life before these forums, right? What else do you enjoy?
I will admit to taking the forums too seriously for a while. I know I did, even if no one else saw it. Then I realized that they were only a place to exchange ideas. If I could not handle the ideas and view points of others, then I did not need to be a published author. By not taking things personally, I have learned so much about people.
Personally, I find whining over being banned to be very silly.
But that's part of the 'drama'
I enjoy that kind of childish drama. Goes well with the reason why one is banned !
Ivorwen again I agree with you wow we are 2 for 2 that is a good ratio here today!
For the most part life is way too short to get mixed up in trival spats on here.
There really isnt anything wrong with people having different opinions but if you are going to have an opinion you better be able to take the heat.
I see a lot of people leaving the forums as of late. It is sad to see many of them go but believe me HubPages will move forward.
Somedays I am very vocal and others I just sit back and watch the bickering.
For people who are here to make money you really need to realize its not going to happen in the forums. You can make a lot more than you think here but it does take time and effort.
Its all good and it is what it is I guess.
Ivorwen I think there are a lot of things about these forums that could do with some rethinking. I have said that before but I do not think anyone is listening.
Dale welcome glad you stopped by. Did you get the E-mail I sent to you?
Now I am hijacking my own thread LOL.
Really? People do that here? my god they must have no life at all!
I am as interested as anyone else when someone gets banned but i do not take part in the drama ussualy,
You know I was thinking, why are you guys so surprised that people aren't coming to the forums. You keep saying if we don't like the threads, then don't read them. Well lots of us aren't reading most of what's here
Me thinks some of you miss the audience. It's no fun if we aren't here to get watch and get upset.
Nelle, you are probably one of the Hubbers I most respect here. There are a few others but you are definatly in the top 5.
You seem very passionate about whats happening and so you should be. It does seem like a lot of things just arent clicking anymore in the forums. It seems like an awful lot of people are here for the wrong reasons.
I will always respect what you have to say. The e by your name is well deserved. Even though you are a full time marketer you have always found time to answer the important questions.
Hubpage users do have to move on and I am sure we will get new ones just as great and just as intelligent as many who have left.
As for the, well we know which ones. From your experience we know they will end up just going away.
Nelle I guess that is all part of having the forums though isn't it? we call it socializing but I really think a lot of times people just post crap to get trouble started without even paying much attention to the OP. If they socialize like that in the real world my guess is they do not have many freinds.
Ohma I can't figure out the quote button either. But yes, I truly believe that some of the hubbers who are playing innocent now are truly trouble makers who are only happy when people are at each other's throats and that's what they find "fun." They keep stirring the pot and coming back with controversial topic after controversial topic until everything froths up.
And they they claim freedom of expression and creativity. And then they say just don't read these topics that you can't handle. Well I'm not buying it.
Maybe in their own personal lives there isn't more accoutability. But if I acted like this with people in person, my friends would have a long sit down with me.
I just feel sorry for the people who are trying to make money and really need some help to learn how to. And they aren't going to get the help they need, because those of us who are willing to help aren't going to bother with the forums very much any longer.
Thank you Dale. Yes every few months this happens. But this time is a bit nastier. And it just doesn't have to be this way. It's so hard to help people in this atmosphere.
These threads have been popping up everywhere, even in the Hubbers Hangout and Pets. That was the point today that Whitney tried to make. And it's hard to have a civil discourse with the tone of the fourums. You have to be here to see the request for help.
And quite frankly, I'm not going to be here much any more, because if it isn't you who loves discord, it will be someone else - and I'm just very tired of it. This is my liveliehood - not some petty game - and I need to focus on that.
As I said before, I've figured out how to make a lot of money on HP, I don't need the forums. I was just trying to be a part of the community.
I am with you on this Nelle. I ignore the forums of any site when they get nasty and ridiculous. Who has the time?
Nelle I think if this trend of helpful people bowing out continues it is going to be a sad place for everyone.
I just wish there was something I could do to make it stop.
Excuse me !
There are a lot of threads in here. Not all are 'hot'.
There are so many ! I'm sure you can find more that 5 or 6 to your liking.
Tantrum I remember how helpful many of you were to me when I first got here and I think it would be sad if the newbies coming in did not have the same people to help them. Not that I am not a newbie I am just not so much of a newbie anymore.
But there are a lot of people helping the newbies! I see it every day !
Don't be dramatic, or you will make me laugh !
Rochelle & Lake I am happy that you both decided to join in. I like the verbal banter as much as anyone else but it is sad when it turns into bickering and even sadder when it get drug from one thread to the next.
Mega No 12 steps a support group so that we can all learn from each other on how to get really good at it.
are they getting drugs in the next thread? what?
Oh, so glad we don't have to do the 12 step thing, I can barely do the 2-step. If you could help me figure out how to get people to actually respond to my posts! I did that thread on whether other people were also paranoid about always killing the thread the way I am and it got some good response. But when I go in another thread and offer an opinion or joke or something, people pretend I'm not there! SO how can I get more attention? without talking about my sexy animals, that is. . .
I tried to get somebody to bicker with me a couple times, they just lost interest! not good at bickering, sometimes its actually funny to watch others do it when they're really good bickerers!
LOL Mega you truly are a narcissistic attention-seekers arent you? Just kidding. I wont bicker with you but I do enjoy cahtting with you!
does that mean you'll keep giving me all the attention I need? gee thanks! I'll try to be a little more profound and a lot less stupid, I said I'll TRY, no promises! I like you too, Ohma, every time I see your name I think "Oh ma god!" like my kids used to say . . .
honestly my name Ohma pronounced UMA was given to me by my oldest granchild he turned 13 yesterday and I have had the name since he started to talk.
Ahhh - now I am jealous, don't have any grandkids yet, and I'm def old enough! really looking forward to that, the best part of aging, I think :
That's funny, when I read that I always imagined it pronounced like the Korean word for 'mother.'
UMA sounds like the Japanese word for 'horse.'
or Oma (O-ma) the German word for grandma.
Cant say for sure But I have also been told that it is similar to the German word for grandmother
I've come to the realization that there's too much B.S. floating around...
I think I'm breaking from the forums... I read over some stuff today, and it's just kinda.... futile.
Blatva I would miss you, but I respect your choice. I just hope you really haven't set on leaving though.
Honestly, It's just a thought. I think myself level headed.. But some of the things I've read today... I just don't know If I would react in a mature and positive way. Sometimes people's...... responses and How quick to anger they are.. It just gets to me. And I don't like dealing with any unnecessary drama. You know?
I'm not leaving for good I just think I won't be as active.
Stay here I enjoy your company and we can just rename the thread to absolutely no drama.
Haha ^-^ I enjoy yours as well.
Tempting, certainly. I may stick around.. But I should be writing >.<
And, where do you think you're going? You don't like us anymore?
You gonna make me cry?
Seriously, I enjoy your company. Besides, where else am I going to find someone who is level-headed? So, see, you have to remain here.
Cags what does this say for the rest of us Hmmmmmmmm?
I would rather no one left or spent less time here. I would prefer people to get over the pettiness and adversity brought forth in the forums, and learn it's not really about them, in the first place.
No one has all the answers and at best many have only conjecture to offer. Why? A lack of knowledge, for which, they refuse to admit having.
I don't mean ignorance. Everyone is ignorant in some area. However, arguing depending on what and when, can be constructive, and answers can be found. But, people have to be open and realize when someone is honestly being honest. Which can be difficult behind a computer screen, and all different perspectives get spilled into one thread. It can be maddening at time. Out right frustrating, but humans learn through adversity and if anyone is unwilling to face that adversity, then they only put limits on themselves for learning.
Just my view.
Hi Cagshil - Hear hear !
Surely the point of these forums (apart from those who earn money from the rest of us just chatting) is to share - and that can be serious help or just a good laugh. To be able to post controversial views and get criticised and respond to the criticism is part of any discussion, ganging up and name calling is just shouting down. From my tiny amount of time on here I see a small percentage of 'serious' issues that warrant serious discussion, the rest are obviously just for fun and are sometimes a little bit funny way to pass an hour or two in idleness.
Standing back and reading the comments, the one big issue seems to be name calling. If anyone tells me I dont know what I am talking about and can express why they disagree then we have a spirited discussion, this only breaks down when someone starts childish name-calling, and their friends start in on the playground behaviour.
or were they bantering? I'm not clear on that. I guess when you banter its with a smiley face after it, but if you're bickering you just type very very fast misspelling and leaving out words and then it gets very hot in the room. But true bickering stops suddenly and everybody laughs. Now, arguing, that's when the arguers' faces turn red and they say things they wish they hadn't!
LOL... Funny topic.. If you take forums too seriously you probably have no life anyway. Aggression in forums is used to trigger feedback. The same tactics also works on generating more traffic to your blog. Trust me, if you disagree with a visitor chances are they won't run away, they will how ever return fire, drawing an audience.
good point Elite publishings guess i am just strange i wont go to someones hub thathas been rude to be I just leave them alone!
I have 9 Oldest 13 youngest twins not quite a year old they are the Joy of my life.
Not unwilling to face adversity just unwilling to bring it on myself if I can avoid it.
I can and do voice my opinion when there is a real issue, and there is some hope of a positive outcome. I just dont usually see that hope in any of the forums when the issue at hand is hidden behind the arguing.
Ya. I agree with you. What is up with those cranky forum replys.
Just simply answer a question and calm down. Make sure ya take your meds first, if you need to , before writing on a forum.
we are nice people out here ))
That's how it starts...Someone gets off topic and comes out with some cheap easy remark that sets off (the people that didn't take their meds). If you're really smart and wise; you don't say things like that.
As large as Hubpages has became and I have disagreed with others I certainly would not leave nor would many of us who have been her at least 2 years or longer. We have been here through thick and thin why abandon ship now? I agree with Nellie many of us know how to make money and the forum is not one of them we normally come here to merely visit others and stop by to say hello and I am also glad that some of those titles were moved into the sand pit. placing them in the categories they were originally was not necessary. Honestly it was beginning to look like a porno site not a writing site I am glad they rectified some of the issues but just my opinion.
what we haven't discussed here, yet, is the thing that precipitated all this - when people actually suggest that other people shouldn't be allowed to do something in the forums that they do (like bumping on their own threads just to keep them high on the list, trying to get responses) or like posting those silly animal/sex threads - If you think someone's actions are making the forums stupid, boring, too spicey, or that they are terrorizing the population - should you post a thread asking whether everyone agrees with you? or should you write to Hubstaff about it? or both? I don't know - but I sure don't like people suggesting more rules for us all to measure up to their expectations!
Everyone is making really good points and all seem to be saying pretty much the same thing. It is entertaining as long as it does not get out of hand.
and now I'm wondering, why is it that no one complained about all those threads talking about masturbation? heh heh ! I don't think anyone brought those up, but they were sure upset about a chicken and a cat! oh, no, no I must go . . . lmao!
So - here in China I have just got up finished reading through some of this. Can someone update me - who got banned and what else happened ?
mega1 I learned a long time ago not to put any hubs in the Relationships and Gender category, so those topics never end up on my hubs. Had any of those topics ended up in categories that I routinely use and that were inappropriate, I would have reported it to HP and asked that they be moved to the sandpit.
But as I said, if it doesn't show up where I make my money, I really don't care what a topic is about. And I've lost any interest in the forums because of all the BS here.
I just spent some time organizing my hubs so I just have to check a few each day to make sure that innappropriate content isn't showing up there. So I won't have to keep coming to the forums to check topic titles.
was gonna respond, but can't recall whether I took my meds, so
better not! good night all!
Nelle you are right again I did not realize that forum threads show up on hubs guess now i have to go check mine and see whats what.
Ok now I am annoyed my hub about my grandparents that I wrote in response to a hubmob challenge on romance has a link to a forum thread abut what to do if your husband doesn't satisfy you in bed.
That is the dumbest feature I have ever seen. It should be removed the forums are to volatile and childish to be attached to our hubs!
Why do people take the forums so seriously?
I dunno but I gather it is because they can.
Coz sometime they get solution of their problem easily by discussing with others
I've been biting my tongue over this thread but I've got to say it. This forum has the most BS, needy, time-wasting, stupid and conflict-driven people I have ever seen on any forum!
Having said that, I'm here too so don't take what I say too bad.
However most of the threads on this forum are totally worthless fluff or a never ending crusade about something. I find maybe 2 or 3 threads a day worth responding to.
There's a whole big wide world out there, don't let it pass you by!
Replying quickly in case I get another BSOD, been offline mostly this past day or two thanks to computer problems, but Nelle summed the problem up nicely.
The forums are related to our hubs, whether we like it or not. Our hubs are trying to make us money.
If the forum topic titles detract from our hubs, then it is our business, and Hubpages business, to put a stop to the use of the certain titles.
If the forum content is poor tht is also going to reflect badly on all of us.
This is a business, whether or not people are here to make money. Hubpages themselves aren't a charity. They are a business.
I'm still fairly new here but I do see a lot of people getting bent out of shape over words. The great thing about this country is that we have the right to write about whatever we want. That being said when we signed on to write here, there were rules that we had to agree to. One of which is that we keep our content clean and factual. There are a few topics that are downright offensive in their boldly sexual nature. There are other sites that let you talk like that freely-use them. I'm here to write out my experiences and frustrations in hopes that I can help others and maybe bring a sense of healing to myself as well. If I make money in the process-fantastic, if I don't-that's okay but I'm not going to knowingly sabatoge topics that may hurt others. Besides, I don't know y'all and vice versa-why get bent out of shape over my opinion? That's all it is and I know I will have people disagree. Again, a great part of living in this country. My opinion is keep it clean and relevant or find somewhere else to release your immature sexual/power-driven frustrations.
By the way~SORRY if I offended anyone!
IzzyM and chaotic I could not have said it better my self thank you for sharing.
Drej welcome It seems a little sad to me that people would bring their personal problems here and even sadder that the expect to resolve them here.
You really have to test the waters first and see if you want to do battle because someone will more than likely say something to hurt your feelings. The two topics you should never discuss are right there front center religion and politics.
I was always tought not to siscuss sex politic or religion with anyone except my children and husband. It is a rule I try to live by. Sometimes I am drawn in but I have found that it is very unproductive in all three cases.
You're right nothing changes and someone usually gets their feelings hurt.
I'm going to have to disagree here. I think anyone should be able to talk about anything. If they want to express religion, political views, and/or spending habits, by all means share it...just don't do it with the intention to start a fight!
There's nothing wrong with opposing views or debate, in fact, that's what 'enlightens' people (gets the ball rolling so to speak). Being afraid to express your feelings (no matter the topic) because you think you will offend someone is crazy.
It is not that I worry about offending people it is just that to me these things are personal and they belong at home or in the case of politics in the voting booth.
The problem of not discussing politics is that it leads on to getting the government you deserve, not the kind you would want.
The same could probably apply to religions and sex in modern times is just a fun subject with few taboos.
If I ask for advice in a post I expect to receive both positive and some negative feedback. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and rude, mean comments.
If a person comes across in a negative way I am much less likely to follow them or ever leave comments on their hubs. And i would never go to their own personal web site. If I remember you as that jerk who said "x" and you ask a question I know the answer to, why would I waste my time helping you for? I wouldn't.
Present yourself as a nice, intelligent person and I'll probably come check out your hubs and maybe even follow you if your hub's subject matter interests me. What do you care what I do? You probably don't, but I doubt I am the only one who thinks this way around here. All that negativity could really affect your reputation and even your numbers.
My posts here have not attracted many responses, but thats fine. At least everyone has played nice with me so far, which I do appreciate. But for those who may not in the future its more of your loss than mine because your easy enough to ignore. I will not get caught up in flame wars or any other type of BS on forums. Maybe I will even make some friends around here eventually.
I think of forums as a place to ask questions when I need help, and to learn from others mostly. If it works out to be fun and a place to meet new friends, then thats great too. But you can keep your BS to yourself.
Eloquently said MyWebs,
It seems silly to me that people would set out to make controversy in the same place they are trying to make money.
The things , Ohma, some of us don't care so much or really know that much about making money with hubs - from what I've heard a few people make a lot, but many just make a little. I decided that I didn't want to really pursue doing all the things you have to do to get the traffic to make money - it would be like selling and that doesn't interest me right now. Eventually it would be nice to make some money writing but I don't want to deal with the adwords part and all the backlinking. I just like to write about things that interest me. So, sometimes I don't feel like writing and I don't have to, but I ALWAYS feel like talking and there is not much opportunity for me to meet new people out here in the country - so that may explain why we act so silly. Of course it doesn't explain controversy - I'm not much into that or rudeness, for that matter. I do like making friends with people who seem to have similar interests. I think it takes some time to learn who to talk trash with - just like in the "other" world. So, now we can get on with that trash talkin', silly actin', major wierdness and time wastin' that we all do so well! Peace!
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