Beginner looking for some critisism

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   TheJmanposted 14 years ago

   Hey Guys and Girls!
   
   So, I've just started, I am very excisted about hubpages! I have published 4 hubs so far. Obviousy my traffic is low, I know that this is not a quick way to get cash but it takes time and patients.
   
   I would really appreciate it if any of you guys could give me some constructive critisism on my hubs. What you think I'm doing wrong? I know its a lot to ask, take your time to help me even though you don't know me, but if you have some time I would really appreciate it!
   
   I have signed up with google adsense and with amazon. I click the share button and I've added my page to digg, twiter and stumble on.
   
   I just can't seem to get enough! I love to see something develope and grow, but I am really worried that I'm doing something wrong?
   
   Anyways, if you don't have time, really don't worry! I understand!
   
   Regards
   TheJman

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      SimeyCposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I checked out your SA hub. A couple of points:
      
      1)    Check grammar and spelling carefully. Example “There is a lot of bad stories that people hear” should be “There are…” – this can put readers off.
      2)    Pictures – SA is beautiful – show me how beautiful it is with lots of pictures!
      3)    Links – link to government sites, travel sites, sites related to the ‘things to do’ list
      4)    More info – you’ve listed a lot of hotels – give me personal ratings and reviews where possible, and add a link over the name of the hotel to their website.
      5)    Soccer – you open up with Soccer and then don’t write any more – not all your visitors will know about soccer or the world cup – use some ‘right aligned’ text boxes, shade them and then add some interesting facts about soccer and the world cup  - also add a link to the FIFA site and the Wikipedia entry for soccer.
      
      Overall you have some nice content, it just needs a little jazzing up!

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         wavegirl22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         wow SimeyC . .that was awesome of you! such great comments. . . never ceases to amaze me how very helpful people around here are!
         
         You rock!

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         TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you so much! This is what i needed!!
         
         1) Thank you for that, i need to proof read them better, i think i might print them out, find it easier to look at it and write on it! My spelling is really not great, thank goodness for spell check!
         
         2) Im afraid to take pictures off the internet, I know I did in my earlier hubs but i think i may be infringing copy right and I should rather put up pictures I have personally?
         
         3) Great idea!!
         
         4) I was considering doing that, my problem is, I have not stayed in any of them? There is a lot of info on the net about them? Is it alright if I read their stuff and re write it the way i want to?
         
         5) will do!
         
         Thank you so so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to look through my hub! I'll pay it forward!

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            SimeyCposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            No problem - additional comments:
            
            2) There are a lot of photos that are free to use as long as you quote the source - it takes a little work to find them but worth doing. Of course, if you can take pictures yourself and use them that is even better!
            4) Probably not - but linking to the Hotel website is a start.
            
            Good luck with your hubs - you have some nice ideas...just a little jazzing up is required.!

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               TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Seriously! Thank you so much for taking the time! really awesome of you!

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/Travel-South-Africa-World-Cup
   http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Get-Your-6-Pack
   http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Clean-Yo … -Right-Way
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Buying-the-Right-Sunscreen
   
   Just to let you TheJman, you can post links in THIS forum, for which, is called the Extreme Hub Makeover Forum.
   
   Here you can ask for help or advice about your hubs. I have posted your links so others can simply go your hubs instead of having to go to your profile first.
   
   Should you want further advice in the future, at least now you know you can post a link here and get help.
   
   Welcome to HubPages. I'm off to check out your hubs. Be back in a little bit.

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks so much! I feel like a kid in a candy store! sorry for posting in the wrong spot! Thanks for posting my links! You guys are really helpful and I really love that about this site! I really hope that I can help others one day, teach me the way of the samuri

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   wavegirl22posted 14 years ago

   The Jman -
   
   Cags is a great help and he has sent you some really good info.
   
   Just thought I would stop in and say Welcome!

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks wave! Wow, a 91! how you doinnn *best joey impression I can muster up

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/Travel-South-Africa-World-Cup
   
   The above Hub needs a revamp on the keywords. Some of the keywords you have used are a misrepresentation of your hub.
   
   I also agree with SimeyC on his points.

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Get-Your-6-Pack
   
   The above hub seems like a great hub. The keywords are good too.
   
   However, you seem to have extra spacing at the end of some of the capsules you've used. This has created more "white" space between your capsules.
   
   Edit your hub, then edit the Text capsules. Go to the end of each and either delete or backspace, so as to eliminate the said "white" space.
   
   The differences in your spacing between capsules should be minimal, so your message flows without looking amateurish.

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Go you! i think thats the effect of copying it to word for the spell check. Will be sure to correct it!

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Clean-Yo … -Right-Way
   
   The hub above is way out of whack. The format looks messy and you don't have enough keywords on the hub.
   
   I know you want to go quickly, but learn to crawl before you try to run. It will take some time, getting use to the positions of ads, which are delivered to your hubs, beyond your control.
   
   You have too many mistakes on this hub to mention. Too many white spacing problems, misalignment of pictures and other things.

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ok, yea, i have that problem in life as well. I like to dive right in, get my hands messy

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/Buying-the-Right-Sunscreen
   
   This hub above is also messy and crowded. I say crowded, because you have many paragraphs that are simply too long and will most likely lose your visitor/reader's attention.
   
   I would say that you also have a "white" spacing problem on this hub too. If need be, use more capsules to separate. Be careful about the white spacing at the end of each capsule. This seems to be a re-occurring theme or error on your part, when finishing a capsule.
   
   Always spell check everything in your hubs. This should be the first thing you do, before publishing. You always have to make sure that your sentences are properly formatted to make sense to your majority of readers.
   
   Other than that....have some good topics and remain open to other people's advice and you'll do well.
   
   Have fun.

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I cant thank you enough! I really appreciate it! Really really awesome of you! I will be sure to keep in touch and let you know how im doing thanks to the advice!

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   You're welcome.

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      TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      So, I know a bit off topic, but, what do all you guys and lady do in life?

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         SimeyCposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Apart from creating hubs? you mean there's life outside of hubpages!!?? I'm a computer geek working for a large accountancy firm! married with 2 kids..born in the UK living in the US!

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            KeithTaxposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            My God! Another accountant. I don't work for a large accountancy firm; I own a little accountancy firm.
            
            I also want to chime in on one of your hub on suncreen. I agree with Simey, the paragraphs are too long and look blocky.
            
            Consider more pictures and a video or two. Remember, images and videos don't have to all be crammed to the right.
            
            Use more capsules and consider bullet points to outline a list of information. This will give your hub a lighter, more airy feel. It will read fast; always a good thing.

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               TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Great! Thanks so much!! thanks for taking the time! but how would you get the pics any other way besides left or right?

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   TheJmanposted 14 years ago

   ok so, I'm back! sorry for the delay! I'm a full time student, and well, you know how it is
   
   So just a quick question, is there any way to put a link on a word in my page, so like for the South Africa hub, i want to put a link to the fifa world cup cup, but i wana do it so that the sentence will read "Come visit South Africa for the fifa 2010 world cup" and if your click on "fifa 2010 world cup" it will take you to fifa's website?

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      IzzyMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      En edit mode, highlight the words "fifa 2010 world cup", then click the chain symbol, which will open up an insert link box.

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    TheJmanposted 14 years ago

    thanks so much!!

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    TheJmanposted 14 years ago

    Ok Ladies and gents! I've just published another hub. I think I may have nailed it with this one? But, I know I am still young in this game!
    
    Please can you give me some critism on this hub?? Go wild, be as rough as you want, I need the critism badly!
    
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Blackberry-8520 … eview?done
    
    Thanks so much!

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       TheJmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       no critism? did I say or do something wrong?

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