Wacky advice from us!

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   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   since michael bay is recasting megan fox's part in the new transformers movie. i would like to ask who do you think needs whom more?  do you think megan fox needs that movie more than they need her?  or do you think they're making a huge mistake letting her go?

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   mega1posted 13 years ago

   hey!  what did you guys think of my entertainment implant device idea?  are you not listening to me again?

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      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      actually i think it's a great idea.  especially if it involves pornographic movies where you can actually touch the...well never mind (whistles coyly)

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   mega1posted 13 years ago

   oh good, you ARE listening!  This brings up a possible downside for this implant - if you're using it somewhere besides at home it could get strange - and messy! 

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      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      that and if your watching a horror film.  who's to say it might not be like in star trek, where the holographic images could go haywire and the safety protocols get broken to where you can die in these dream movies.

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         mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         ooh - remember, was it Vanilla Sky? where Tom Cruise or somebody like that trys to get rid of their company implant?  I have a horrible memory for things like this.  Do you know which movie I'm talking about?

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            Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            yeah, i just looked it up.  i think your right. it is vanilla sky your talking about.

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   LeanManposted 13 years ago

   I still want to know if I should give in to my internet admirers and have a virtual affair.... but who should I choose???

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      mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      we are formulating answers to this very pressing questions now - and possibly later today or tomorrow you will get to know what to do.  In the meantime, we could dally a bit, just to keep in practice! 

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         LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         How are you today sweet mega??

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            mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            just great - I am cooking and baking and running in to post here now and then.  Right now I have to go up to the mailbox and see if any great things have arrived for me!  brb

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               LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Glad to hear it..... I'm quite hungry, is it ok if I come around for a little nibble??
               
               Where is GS?? Not seen her anywhere?? Have you done something with her??

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                  TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Hey there, leanman...No worries, mega's my friend; she would never hurt me!
                  
                  If you're hungry, swing on around and we'll find something to nibble...perhaps you can help me crawl out from under my mountain of homework and school books!

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   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   Do you give wacky cooking advice as well?

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      TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I love to cook...and would be glad to give Wacky advice about it...I'm going out on a limb here, but I'd be willing to bet that ma feels the same. Hit us with those Wacky Questions!!

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   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   What do you serve with bilabong tea?

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   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   If you eat passionfruit, are you aroused?

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      TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      It's funny you should ask that...I just ordered some passionflower seeds from IzzyM today...we might have to put the answer to that one on hold until they bear fruit!!

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         logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Do you have to put 2 of them together to get them to procreate?

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            TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I don't know!
            
            
            This will require further research!

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   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   do girls ever fantasize about cartoon characters?  the reason why I ask is because i met a lot of guys in my life on here and real life that have told me how hot some anime and cartoon girls are, so are girls the same way? do you girls find any male cartoons attractive? 

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   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   Is it proper etiquette to play a diggerydoo at a funeral?

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      TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh we'll need more specifics on this one...What song are you wanting to play...and where is this funeral taking place?

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         logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Beethoven's 9th!
         No where in particular.

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    TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years ago

    All right, my fine Hubbing friends! You've asked for it and NOW it's out! YES the FOURTH WEEK of Wacky Advice has been published on my profile.
    
    If you're just joining us, make sure to catch up with the first three weeks, and if you've been with us through the long haul, GO CHECK OUT OUR NEW ADDITION!! Woot.
    
    Many thanks to goldenpath, logic,commonsense, and Stevennix who always make sure to keep us on our toes. This week SandySpider jumped in on the fun as well! Yay! And, of course, a special shout-out to our Wacky Beau: LeanMan - we love ya, babe!
    
    As always, we are the 3-D of the advice world, so keep those Wacky Questions flowing!!

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    greyfox26posted 13 years ago

    If someone asks you a question, simply say: Nov Schmoz Ka Pop.

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Why? What does that mean? It looks like it means "Keep Your Big Nose Shut" or something.

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    What kind of advice can you give someone who was playing with his bilabongs and got his diggerydoo caught in the zipper?

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       hehehehe...With your recent batch of questions, I just have to ask: Have you recently discovered your diggerydoo, logic

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          logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I've had it since birth! It's grown on me!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    woohoo - is it hot in here? or what? baby, baby, baby! such good, good lovin'!
    
    I don't know where I've been but I missed some of these most recent questions, which we will be answering straightaway in the next Wacky Advice hub!  There are so many wacky questions just in this thread, and throughout HubPages. I guess thats why our advice hubs will just have to continue on and on.  My mind is reeling, not that it isn't always reeling, just a little more than usual, I guess.
    
    I'm thinking we are almost ready to be the 4-D of the advice world and really rock and roll ya! so fasten your seatbelts, kids! 

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       *undoes a button* Now that you mention it...We are SEARING, dahlink!
       
       I don't know where you've been either - have you been looking for Space Worms? I'm glad you're back; we've got a massage parlor waiting!
       
       *fastens her seatbelt* We are on a ROLL! Heading toward warp speed!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    mommy, what's a diggerydoo?

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's a long tubular instrument that makes insane noises when you play with it.
       
       Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DC9w4KWEgJE

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    Ask BP!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    do you have one logic?  and if so would you like to sell it?

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    TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years ago

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING HUBBERS!!!
    
    If you haven't read the latest installment of Wacky Advice, WHAT are you waiting for?? this week it's on my profile. Read, leave a wacky question, and have fun!

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18. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    idk if you ladies follow the nba or not, but the la lakers are allegedly saying that even if they do win the title this year, then coach phil jackson is still going be forced to take a pay cut.  right now he's making like 12 million a year, but they want to reduce it to 5 million instead.  that's assuming he even wants to go back to the lakers, as he could either retire OR try to coach another team that might pay him.  if you were him, what would you do?

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for your excellent question, Steven...be assured this question, and many others, will be answered in our next installment of Wacky Advice...Coming Soon to a HubPage near you!

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    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    it's already statistically proven that men are stronger than women.  as scientists have shown that in most cases where you get a woman and man of equal and/or equivalent size, and the man will prove to be stronger.  However, I have a theory of my own, but it's not statistically proven yet.  I think women are the smarter ones of the two sexes, but I think the reason why it's not proven yet is because men don't want to look like idiots.  lol.  anyway, do you think i might have something there?  believing that women are smarter than men in general?

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       TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Where is it statistically proven that men are stronger than women? Try telling that to Chyna, or Xena Warrior Princess.
       
       I, personally, used to be able to press 500 pounds with my legs in college, as well as being able to do 100 reps on each of the thigh machines with 100 pounds of weight on. Not all that long ago, I lifted one end of a large 4-wheeler (ATV) and pushed it out of my way. Every day, I pick up a 120 lb man and put him in his motorized wheel chair.
       
       When was the last time you did that, eh?

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          Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          actually, i learned that a long time ago back in high school.  my biology teacher made us watch a documentary about that.  lol.  however, i wouldn't doubt how strong you are, as I'm sure you could probably kick my butt.  lol.

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             TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I'm just messin' with ya....although I have done all those things. I seem to remember being taught the same thing; however, I just have a problem with enormous generalizations, especially those that separate groups of people and make one seem superior to another in any kind of way.

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                Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                yeah, i feel the exact same way myself to be honest.  i hate it when people try to make one group more superior to the other.  plus, the funny thing about those alleged tests are it also depends on who they test too.  i mean they could've easily have tested guys who are like body builders and tested women that only work out occasionally to gather the results.  Plus, I noticed women can move a lot faster and are more agile, so that would easily beat braun in a fight.  after all, what good is strength if you can't hit the person.   not saying i condone hitting girls or anything, but just stating an observation.
                
                
                anyway, i guess we should provide our own test and find out. i propose we do like a wrestling competition with some of the girls and guys on hubpages to test who's stronger in the bedroom. lol.  where the match wouldn't be over until one person ends up on top.   what do you think?

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                   TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Well it might not be very scientific, but it sure sounds like a lot of fun!! We'll have to see who all wants to join in the wrestling mayhem!

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                      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      i guess so.  i just can't wait to wrestle with some hot girls on here.  hell, i'll take on all the hubpages ladies at once.  

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                         TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         LMAO! Steven, I'm not sure that's advisable...LOL...you know, I think it's safe to say that there are at least 50,000 of us...and that's a conservative estimate.

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                            Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                            lol.  yeah, but i love a good challenge.  besides, either way i would still win since i'd be either on the bottom of 50,000 plus girls or i'd be on top.    besides, what guy wouldn't want to possibly gro...i mean wrestle with a bunch of girls in the bedroom.

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                               TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                               Oh my goodness Steven....thank you for the laugh! I'm literally sitting here with tears in my eyes....oooh, goodness.

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                                  Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                  don't mention it.  besides, i had a lot of laughs too..and then some.

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                   mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   You win Steven!  You can be on top! 
                   
                   just keep asking those beautiful wacky questions.
                   
                   
                   I'm wondering if we should maybe have a "Wackiest Hubber Contest"  ?  what could the prize be?  maybe GS and I should just nominate people we think are the wackiest hubbers and the prize would be a link to their profile on our Wacky Advice Hubs - we could have a new one every week - have our readers vote and the next week we publish the winner with a link to their profile and description of what made them so wacky this week? -  What say you all?
                   
                   My mind never stops!  just warning ya! 

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                      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      wow, i love the idea.  i know i would be certainly honored as i love reading your wacky advices every chance i get!

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                      TheGlassSpiderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      Oooh, I like it, mega! Excellent thinking... What kinds of criteria are we going to base it on? Who asks the wackiest (NOT dumbest-WACKIEST) question in a week, or what?

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                         mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         Yep - that's it - ask a really wacky question (NOT A DUMB one, but a WACKY one!) and you may win this weeks WACKIEST HUBBER contest -
                         
                         Submit questions now! I'll be selecting the ones we'll answer tomorrow soon, so get those desperate wacky queries in NOW!
                         
                         

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20. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    will we ever see flying cars?

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    If I was a lawyer and told you that all lawyers were liars, what would you do?

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    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    a friend of mine, NOT me wanted me to ask you two if you thought the name buck naked or lester the molester were good porn screen names, as ki..i mean my friend wanted to know.  he's actually contemplating doing it.  although i'd be way to embarassed to, but he wants to.  so go figure.  lol.  what i would like to know is, are those good names for him to use?  Or do you girls have another name in mind for him?

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23. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    who'd win in a fight between the incredible hulk and superman?

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I'm still working on this week's wacky advice -  so you have a couple hours to get in any last minute questions - ask away!

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25. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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26. 79

    mega1posted 13 years ago

    here's what I've been doing instead of wacky advice hub:
    
    

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27. 79

    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    Which hubbers should get parts in the new Hobbit film and which parts?? (if it ever gets made)..

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       golly, which parts are available?  I mean - what's the story and who's in it?  I thought the Hobbit series ended!  But I'd like to play Lady Goneriel- or whatever that elven queen's name was.
       
       Hi Leanman!  I'm trying to stay away from the forums.  hahaha

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          LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          The addiction is hard to kick... I was going to do 4 or 5 new hubs and join the 30 day challenge and get drunk and make love to my wife and ...
          
          But I'm here chatting in the forums..
          
          Hi Mega, nice to hear from you... there are a whole load of dwarves, Gandalf, various elves, hobbits, and other weirdo's... I'll be Smaug the dragon if that helps... lol - You will have to read the book..

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    Oh, its based on The Hobbit?  the prelude to the trilogy?  That was the first Tolkein book I read, and I've forgotten it - so I'll get a copy and read it again.
    
    meantime, have to learn to play the guitar, finish the Wacky Advice hub, write about a few other things, clean up the garden and plant new stuff and plan dinner.  Also fold laundry and maybe do some ironing! 
    
    but, I'll probably just run back to the computer after 10 minutes.  Although I did manage to stay out of the forums for a couple days cuz I was all mad at the politico-religious freaks.  I forget why.

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       LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Was it because they were competing to see who could pee the highest up the wall of the forum??? I think it is funny! Let them play and enjoy each others company, you don't have to watch them play...
       
       Just enjoy what you want to do and ignore them...
       
       
       The Hobbit is great, better than LOTR I think...

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29. 79

    mega1posted 13 years ago

    just reading their friggin posted titles sets me off sometimes - but maybe it was just that time of my life!
    
    have you got the massage oil warmed up yet?  GS has been too busy to bother with us so I guess our menageatroiscyberthingy is kinda dead in the water for now.  I wonder what memorial day is like in S.A.?

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       LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       memorial day????
       
       They only celebrate god here........
       
       Massage oil been boiling for a while waiting for you girls....
       
       Hope GS is ok..

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30. 79

    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    Got to run, going to a wedding in the morning and we don't have a gift?? What should we buy??

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31. 79

    mega1posted 13 years ago

    massage oil?

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       LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       good idea, only supermarket open so it will have to be olive oil..

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32. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    if superman and thor fought each other, then who would win?

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33. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    who'd win in a fight between wonder woman and catwoman?

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       LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       i don't care who wins, i just want to watch....

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          Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          same here! 

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             LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I just can't get this image out of my head now...

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    What would you do if someone asked you to "tan me hide when I'm dead Fred"?

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       earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I'd tan his hide when he died Clyde,
       That's it hangin on the shed!

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          logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Or is it banana peels!
          How's it goin' Earnest?

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             earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I'll explain my problem this way logic.
             
             My Dilema.
             I'd snaf my smodles if I could,
             and wap my wroggly fups
             then only cos I know I can
             I'll prog my miggly futs!
             With every gipple that I see, the crexils to explore
             the pootiz get all friplaprid
             and leap right through the door!

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                logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Perhaps some ExLax would help!

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    How would you punish a pig for hogtieing someone?

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       that's an absolutely wonderful question, logic, and puts you in the running for the next Wackiest Hubber Prize -   so keep those wacky queries coming!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I missed some of these while I was off sulking in a corner somewhere.   Don't ask.
    
    Anyhow, in a brazen attempt to get Stevennix2001 to come back out of his self-imposed exile and communicate something, anything, I have made him the recipient of the first Wacky Advice Best Wacky Hubber (a dubious distinction, to be sure)  So I just went ahead and published the hub, without GlassSpider, who you will note, has also been MIA lately and she said it was ok if I went ahead and pretended to be her.  for awhile.  she will maybe come back and rescue me when she finds out how awful I am at it.  How else to get people to agree with you?   
    
    So I've done my part to liven things up, I hope some others will see how much better they could do it and relieve me of this exhausting jag I've been on lately.

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    I have enough prizes for now, so how does one tactfully decline the possibility of another one? 

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       so, fine.  If you don't want the prize that's just fine with me.  Anyhow I think the wacky advice columns are about to bite the dust.  Everyone is either apathetic or sick to death of my stupid attempts at comedy.  Not that I care.  I'm ready to pack this whole thing in - tired of the commercial aspects, the inane comments on the forums, the sock puppets trying to make me puke, and people crowing about their thousand dollar checks from adsense!  Feeling a little ralwus-y today, you know?  I don't even drink and I'm ready to go sit in some shadowy bar and listen to the jukebox.  Not your fault, I know.  but still - prizes? prizes? nobody needs those f**kin' prizes!

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          logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Calm down, mega, I was merely being facetious!
          I love this thread and your wacky advice columns!  Your comedy is fine and this is a great outlet for fun, to say outrageous things and get outrageous responses!  Beats the hell out of some of the self righteous zealots in the religious and political forums!
          It's okay if you are not on your game today, we all have our off days.
          If I didn't like this, I wouldn't bump it up nearly every time I was on here!  Hope you won't give up on it yet!  Perhaps the best is yet to come!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    earlier today I was just freaking out for a variety of reasons, and now I'm all tired and can't remember why.
    
    Anyway, you said just what I needed to hear.  I really won't give up because I'm so addicted to hubbing and trying to be funny, so don't worry.  Thanks for all the nice words!

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       logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Great news!  I'll keep trying to be funny as well, even if it's a lost cause!

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          mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          OK, so now that I've committed to going on with Wacky Advice #6 (haven't the slightest idea if this is really week 6 or not) I need some help with the wacky questions already.
          
          GOT ANY WACKY QUESTIONS FOR ME?  HEY!  YOU!  I'M TALKIN TO YOU!  WACKY QUESTIONS?  ANYBODY?

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             SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             
             
             let me think....just having my dinner.....so it's a wacky question....hmmmmmm.......

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    And don't forget there's a contest involved~!  yes, the Wackyest Hubber award will be given again!  so be as wacky as you possibly can - ask wacky questions and write those wacky hubs - you may win!

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       i can probably come up with a wacky question....but I'm not a wacky writer....so how does that work....I haven't read all of these posts btw.....i might not be the person for this....sorry mega1

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    all ya gotta do is think up a wacky (i.e. funny and kinda weird, stupid if you want) question and I'll take it from there.  We do it all the time in these forums - I know you can without half trying - ask those wacky questions!

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       'k

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

    'why is that when people are driving and searching for an address, they turn down the radio?'
    
    I'm sure I could come up with better....it's a start....should I go over the top?

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

    'if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, would that be considered a hostage taking?'

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

    why do women ask men 'does this make me look fat?'
    
    
    
    
    that is my favorite question.

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years ago

    'k, I'm done now....later; i'm logging off.

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45. 0

    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    in honor of the new twilight film that was released.  i have to ask you both a question. are you ladies a "team Jacob" or a "team Edward" fan? 

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       ...can't answer that - haven't seen the flic...maybe mega1 has?  she disappeared - asked me to do something and then disappeared?  watup with that....

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    Is tag teaming a sport and what is the best way to train?

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       you're too funny!  ....
       
       

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I'm here - I pop in and often miss stuff - didn't know there were all these great questions waiting!  I'll get started right away with the advice you need and want!
    
    I haven't seen any of the Twilight films and don't plan to since vampires make me puke.  I used to love all those Anne Rice stories - but then something in my brain shorted out on too many vampire things so I'm not even the least bit curious about Twilight.   sorry.
    
    What I am into is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series -  Just saw The Girl Who Played With Fire movie - and I'm still reeling!  get it - reeling!? 

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    Hey, not to be rude or anything, but I really gotta go right now - I'll check back later, so keep those questions coming.

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I guess squirrels will do anything for a laugh!  now, don't say it . . .!  I won't do just ANYTHING for a laugh, but pretty close!  I don't do physical stunts and no photos.

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       lorlie6posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Kittens don't DO physical stunts...well, on the other hand...

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    Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

    mega, help! I need a job change. What should I do?

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       me too....big time!  sheesh and it's only Monday.....wish it was still the weekend....

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    2. 79

       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       That's a PERFECT question - and you are just gonna LOVE my answer!  couple more questions like this and I'll be ready to hand out some radical advice!

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