I need to change almost everything about my life. Basically get a new one. I've recently battled with drugs, smoking, depression, love, moving. I have no job. I just moved from Mississippi to Corpus Christi, TX, and I'm about to move to San Antonio. I'm lost. Any suggestions? I'll be 33 this month. It's time for a change. I need support, and I feel pathetic posting this in a forum.
If you have battled drugs, smoking, depression, love and moving and have succeeded, then what an accomplishment! The worst would be over as far as I can see, I congratulate you. Don't feel pathetic at all feel proud of yourself for what you have made it thru already! I support you, and things will get better. You'll see. I hope nothing but the best for you.
Nah, it's not pathetic. There are quite a few people here who are always ready to provide support - as you just saw.
I take it you don't have anybody to care about - this both simplifies and complicates the things. Just take your time to figure out your life. It does not come on the spot usually, it takes some time. Just let it. Trust in yourself, and in the power that guides you, whatever name you want to give it.
As soon as you are ready for opportunities, they will come - or rather opportunities are always here, we just need to get ready to see them. Get ready
Choices, changes and chaos scare all of us-- fear of the unknown is universal. The unknown is also the residence of opportunity and discovery. Keep your eyes open, your mind and heart partly open. There's certainly something good out there for you.
I'm glad to hear you took action. You wrote a poem as I recall, that captured how trapped you felt where you were. To me, it sounds like you are already taking action to remedy things. You've already begun taking control. Recognize your initiative and give yourself credit for it.
I forgot to say - don't feel pathetic about posting this. If nothing else, this is a good place to get things off your chest
I'm wondering if it really is change that you are looking for. With everything that you've gone through, maybe you just need some solid ground to stand on - to figure out exactly who you are and what you want to be doing.
When I got out of my marriage, and lost my house, I was completely terrified. I had nothing left except my job. But I got back on my feet just fine. You'll hear people say life turned out better after all the changes and chaos - and that sounds cliché but it's the truth.
Good luck with it all - you'll find a way through.
I guess what comes to my mind after reading your thread is that you're younger than you realize you are. You have your whole life ahead of you, and it seems you're already planning to build the kind of life you want (or build yourself into the person you want to be).
Don't make the mistake a lot of people who have past their thirtieth birthday make, which is to feel as if "their story is all written". These days, especially with drug-abuse as common as it is and with the economy what it is, it often takes people until they're in their early thirties to really "get on their feet" (emotionally, financially, etc.) - so keep in mind that you're a lot younger than you realize you are, and go into that new life with the new maturity you now have. Good luck. Stay strong. Decide not to let anyone or anything else (past, present, or future) define who and what you are as a person.
Take each choice you make one thing at a time. Evaluate how, if at all, any one thing ever helps move you toward your aims (and toward something positive); and aim for the things/choices that go with your aims. Keep in mind that even the smallest things can add up to making a big difference in the overall picture, so no wise choice is ever too small to have potential.
Hey fluffy, I think you answered your own question! Here's my take on your situation:
You said you've made poor choices in the past, therefore, choices are scary. You also said you don't like chaos. Here's my answer based on what you've said:
Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Always remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Combat the chaos and poor choices by organizing your thoughts in a daily journal, creating a list of pro's and con's before making a decision, and encourage yourself to take your time. If you cant decide today, there's always tomorrow.
I also would like to say: There is nothing pathetic about positive change.
Fluffy please do read my hub on recovery from addiction, I have been at the lowest of the lowest places, basically in the gutter and have bounced back. It is all about believing in yourself, taking one step at a time, and seeing something more for yourself at the end of the tunnel. xo
fluffymetal, I also wanted to applaud you for having the courage to seek support while considering major changes in your life. You've got a good head on your shoulders, now all you need is to take your time and weigh your options before making choices and decisions.
Fluffy, all change is good. As said above, fear of change is universal and normal. You're not pathetic, you're strong for asking for support and guidance. It takes more courage to come from where you have and admit to the world who you are. You're strong, and you already know that.
One day at a time. One step at a time. One decision at a time. Take your time, there is never a rush. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. You will build your confidence within.
Remind yourself everyday of one huge challenge that you have overcome. And you will see that you have suceeded and you will continue to succeed.
For me, when chaos and confusion binds my mind, the Serenity Prayer does wonders. ((HUGS))
The change you speak of would be a *reinvention* of yourself. And thankfully, all humans are capable of this.
To start with, consider a new hobby to whittle away your idle time, as idle time often allows for one to slide back into old ways. Be certain it's a hobby that involves creating something, so you can relish in your newly found ability!
Next, schedule a date with yourself, at least once every week. Take yourself out to dinner, to a movie, to any place other than home. Being around people will help keep you from isolating, and you could meet new and exciting people in the process.
Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, 'Regardless of what I once might have been, I'm a great person today!'
Look in the mirror every night and tell yourself, 'I survived another day, so I know I can survive one more!'
These small changes will push you toward larger ones, allowing you to swing your life full circle to where you want to be. I know, as this was a course I once followed myself.
Above all, love yourself and worry not about what others think. So long as you determine your decisions and your motivations to be pure then others will see this in time and flock to be your friend.
And above all, don't look to support groups for your sole existence. While these groups are good and often recommended, you need to believe that the power to change comes from within. As such, depending on others to provide change for you will only wind up in failure.
You can do this. And how do I know this? Because you have already taken the first step by trying to see what you could do different to improve your life!
I also recommend...look at one problem at a time rather than looking at everything all at once otherwise everything does seem overwhelming and anxiety, panic etc. sets in skewing our vision. As everyone has said, one step and one day at a time.
Fluffymetal, thanks for starting this thread. It's time for me to change too, although I have not been through the things you have experienced. The advice about taking one step at a time is exactly what I needed to hear. You've helped me out tonight, and you should not feel pathetic at all. Good luck in San Antonio!
Change, sounds to me as if you have already done a great deal of changing-love, drugs, moving etc. Because of all the change you have already taken on, maybe the next step is to breathe-and reflect on what you have experienced thus far. You have to take time to reflect on experiences in order to learn from them, and truly grow from them, as a person-then decide what's next based on what your wants & needs are as an individual. Surround yourself with positive thoughts & people, so you aren't packaging yourself or setting yourself up to fall. May I inquire your reasoning for all the moving?
i moved from ms to get away from old places, people, and things and to be closer to my family who all reside in TX. My dad will be moving to San Antonio in June, and I will be moving with him. He's in in recovery and recently divorced. I want to be there for him and vice versa.