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Looking for a little guidance with my first hub

  1. retrobandit profile image81
    retrobanditposted 6 years ago

    Hi, I'm new to hubpages, and have so far only written one hub. I wrote it on an event that took place in Disneyland in 1970. I didn't see any other hubs on the subject, so I figured it would be a good place to start. After posting it the first time, I realized that the way my pictures were might have made it seem that the article was over at the halfway point, so I've remedied that, making all the text flow directly without a photo spitting it in two.

    I guess my main concerns are that it might have been to short, or that the subject matter might not really be that interesting. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Yippie-Inva … Disneyland

    Thanks in advance

  2. Susana S profile image93
    Susana Sposted 6 years ago

    I found it interesting, well written and entertaining smile It's long enough and it's nice to have a couple of pics. The only problem you might have is that there probably aren't that many people searching for yippie invasion of disneyland, so you won't get a great deal of readers hitting your page from search engines. Still, it's a very good start - welcome to HP!

    1. retrobandit profile image81
      retrobanditposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks, Susana. I was pretty sure this wouldn't be a high traffic article.  I want to write high traffic articles in the future though (of course). I want to stirke a balance in my hubs between broad appeal and niche things that I am passionate about. I'm sure it will take time to perfect it all.
      Thanks again. Insight from more experienced hubbers is invaluable to me.

  3. K Partin profile image60
    K Partinposted 6 years ago

    I left you a comment. smile well done keep em coming!

  4. torimari profile image79
    torimariposted 6 years ago

    Your writing is gripping as well as the topic. True, the title doesn't draw much traffic on engines, but like you said, it's nice to have niche and also a broad array of things that may not be as popular. I think, in the end, having some eccentric topics may catch you more lasting readers and fans. Next step is to incorporate popular google words (SEO) somehow in those non-niche topics so you do get some more traffic.

    As for the writing composition I have one criticism is watch out for really long sentences. Though long sentences are fine, I just found quite a few taking up 4-5 lines (wordy).

    For example:

    "Inspired by counterculture revolutionaries like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, the Yippies stormed the land of fairy tales and overpriced churros in protest of the “establishment”, the evils of capitalism, and what they felt were unfair dress code policies imposed by Disneyland in response to the turbulent counterculture that sprung up across the country in the late sixties."

    This could be two sentences that could be even more effective. You could split into why Disney prohibits certain attire and why, and than the hippies' side. It is just an important point, and sometimes something as simple as two smaller sentences drive it home.

    This is the English major in me being nitpicky because I am the same way with my writing. And, I wouldn't go into detail about this slight insight if I didn't think your work was worth it. It's a great article and start!smile

    1. retrobandit profile image81
      retrobanditposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I can totally see that. I have always had an issue with writing how I talk - rambling, rolling, drawn out phrases. I am definitey going to see what I can do to fix this somewhat. Thanks.