I haven't made it that far into it but in the introduction or prologue i think you are using the word "and" a bit much. If I had to take a wild stab at it I would say that MSWord was giving you the old sentence fragment flag.
Then I have a question about the initial meeting between these two characters. A town of less then 2000 ppl in Alabama and it has an Italian cafe? I mean you described the date beautifully and I really got into the whole scene it was just the Italian cafe part seemed out of place especially given the waitress and that was some nice writing btw.
The next scene had my pulse racing and I wondered how far you would go very nice descriptions.I would have been disappointed if the color was anything other than black.LOL
Anyway I am intrigued hopefully I can get more read here before I fall asleep
WOW! you're the first person that caught the cafe.
GREAT eye for detail.
Well, I must tell you that the cafe plays a vital role in the series. hint hint. but you dont know until later.
I also agree my writing was weak in the beginning. I think I was attempting some form of style but failed. (lol).
I figured the way it read, it grew into the story so I didn't want to do too much editing to the original. I'm often so critical of myself that I'd throw the whole thing away before giving it a good go over.
Anyway, I suppose since I wrote this, I can give you a spoiler of sorts that has to do with the diner, the small town and everything:
As you read the story, you'll see things aren't right. For example the Italian cafe with the crappy old waitress. At another point she dreams about the waitress. That's an important, but seemingly unimportant part.
In episode 2 (unreleased so far) the story appears to have absolutely nothing to do with episode 1 (the stranger), It takes place 100s of years in the future, actually, but something in the story takes you back to those very woods with Judy.
by jdeschene8 years ago
I love horror fiction. I'd love to write it one day. Does anyone else feel this way? Any tips to offer? Any suggested reading? I'd love to know.
by Gavin Wichmann4 years ago
Hey, I'm a new hubber, and I have a big question concerning my hubs.I'm a creative writer, and I'm trying to use hubpages to get feedback on my work.Is there a place here where I would get in touch with other authors...
by Ryan Hupfer8 years ago
After seeing Hubbers announce certain milestones such as view numbers, first $100 payouts and HubPages anniversaries I thought that it would be really cool to create a more automated and easily broadcast way to let...
by dprice997 years ago
Okay,... I'm still relatively new to the hubpages environment. I have written 9 hubs now and have had about 1,000 hits on one of them. I'm signed up for Google Adsense and also signed up with Amazon for...
by andycool5 years ago
Dear fellow hubbers, I’ve a proposal to HubPages for the benefit of all our best quality hubbers. I know here at Hubpages we have a number of good quality hubbers who can write professional quality stuff... right? But...
by Catherine Mostly10 months ago
Remember the passionate fighting between fans and anti-fans of the book-turned-movie, 'Fifty Shades of Grey'? Well, 'Fifty Shades Darker' is now being filmed - and there is still one more movie after this, 'Fifty Shades...
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.