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How many sheets of TP do you use in one sitting?

  1. Tom Cornett profile image54
    Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago

    I counted 28.  smile

  2. habee profile image90
    habeeposted 6 years ago

    One really, really long one! lol

  3. Misha profile image76
    Mishaposted 6 years ago

    None. I use water tongue

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I did that once....got banned from the City Pool.  smile

      1. Misha profile image76
        Mishaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        LOL big_smile

      2. Beth100 profile image83
        Beth100posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        lol

  4. Kidgas profile image78
    Kidgasposted 6 years ago

    I use just enough.

  5. Ron Montgomery profile image61
    Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago

    None.  I have a bidet and a cat.

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      A white cat?  smile

      1. Ron Montgomery profile image61
        Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        used to be...

        1. Tom Cornett profile image54
          Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          LOL!  Brown stripe?  smile

          1. Ron Montgomery profile image61
            Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            More of a holstein now.

            1. Tom Cornett profile image54
              Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Pussy Cow....LOL!   smile

  6. Bill Manning profile image71
    Bill Manningposted 6 years ago

    I'm poor these days. So I take one square, rip it into quarters and use one of those. lol

  7. Randy Godwin profile image93
    Randy Godwinposted 6 years ago

    Corncobs were once the favored outhouse accessory.  Two corncobs were the minimum amount required.  First one used a red cob, then a white one to see if another red one was needed!

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I wonder who used more corncobs...men or women?  smile

  8. LeanMan profile image81
    LeanManposted 6 years ago

    The wife seems to use the whole roll..... I used to get through a pack of loo roll about every 3 months when I lived alone, now I am lucky if the pack lasts the week....

    1. mega1 profile image79
      mega1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol  why can't men ever understand why this is?

      1. camlo profile image81
        camloposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Would you explain?

        1. mega1 profile image79
          mega1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

          different equipment - every time we pee we use tp!  whereas, you probably just shake it off.  lol

  9. Sweetsusieg profile image82
    Sweetsusiegposted 6 years ago

    This will probably work better in a demonstration, but since you all are on the other side of my computer I will do my best to describe. I hope my words will give a good description.

    1 sheet - folded in quarters
    tear off center point, very small 1/2 inch, tuck this in between teeth do not get drool on it!!
    Open quarter sheet, stick middle finger through hole, to base of hand.
    Use finger to wipe messy behind.
    Very carefully fold square of TP up toward tip of finger, using other hand grasp this and pull up taking care to get all of the goo.
    With pointed tip of reserved paper, clean under the fingernail.
    Viola!!!  You have been able to get away with using 1 square!  Saving plenty of money I am sure!

  10. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    I knew I shouldn't have entered this thread!  using 1/4 of a sheet?  and the description?  gahhhhh!  I will probably be constipated for a month now!  smile  hmm  lol

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      There is also corn to consider....it could take up 1/4 inch of the formula.  smile

    2. Sweetsusieg profile image82
      Sweetsusiegposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      It was an old joke that a friend of my Dad's demonstrated....  It was gross and funny all at the same time.  The memory of watching him put that little corner in between his teeth has me giggling....

  11. TamCor profile image79
    TamCorposted 6 years ago

    I leave you alone at the computer for one hour, and this is what happens... lol

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Sorry...do I still get my snack?  smile

      1. TamCor profile image79
        TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Nibble, nibble, nibble, that's all you ever want to do... big_smile

        1. Tom Cornett profile image54
          Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          You're next my dear.  smile

          1. TamCor profile image79
            TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Ooohhhhh....darn, where is a heart smiley???


            big_smile  lol  big_smile

            1. Ron Montgomery profile image61
              Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Get a room! mad

              1. TamCor profile image79
                TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                lol


                Sorry, couldn't help myself, lol...  big_smile

  12. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    corn?

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Corn doesn't digest.  smile

      1. timorous profile image90
        timorousposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Yes it does...didn't your mother tell you to chew your food thoroughly before swallowing?? big_smile

  13. alternate poet profile image79
    alternate poetposted 6 years ago

    I thought that is why it is on a roller ??  I put one end beween my legs and pull off the continous sheets until it appears clean.

    But seriously, the woman issue would explain why my 200 lbs ex-wife used 5 times more than my 96 lb  current and last wife big_smile

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I think you can use an area formula to figure that one.  smile

  14. Friendlyword profile image60
    Friendlywordposted 6 years ago

    How many sheets of TP do you use in one sitting?

    I just use my finger nails, then I wash my hands.

  15. Shadesbreath profile image89
    Shadesbreathposted 6 years ago

    A bear and a rabbit were crapping side by side in the woods.  The bear looked over at the rabbit and said, "Hey, rabbit, do you ever have problems with sh*t sticking to your fur?"

    The rabbit said, "No."

    So the bear wiped his as$ with the rabbit.

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I love bears!  smile

      1. Paradise7 profile image86
        Paradise7posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Yeah, but poor rabbit...

  16. Paradise7 profile image86
    Paradise7posted 6 years ago

    And here I thought it was a national law we all had to use at least three squares.  Otherwise Charmin would go out of business and there goes a couple thousand MORE jobs.

    Ah, well.

    http://www.jokesunlimited.com/jokepics/1226.jpg

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      "Charmin" would have made a great name for a girl.  smile

  17. Kangaroo_Jase profile image80
    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 6 years ago

    Crikey!!!

    I go to bed after seeing this threads OP only and come back to 39 responses lol.

    I use and always use ONLY, double of half of what is the absolute amount required.

    1. TamCor profile image79
      TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Okay, I had to read that three times before I FINALLY understood it, lol...  lol

    2. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Now my brain is grunting!  yikes

  18. blondepoet profile image79
    blondepoetposted 6 years ago

    I am taking my note-book in there next time to get an exact figure once Hugh Jass my drunken neighbor gets the heck off it.

    http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w35/ooohthattickles/Funny%20Pictures/DrunkonBrokenToilet.jpg

    1. mega1 profile image79
      mega1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      he looks SO MUCH like my brother!

      1. blondepoet profile image79
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        He actually is your bro lol.
        What address do I send him back to?

        1. mega1 profile image79
          mega1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

          gee, that's ok.  I think his wife has already forgotten all about him!  You can keep him.  Might want to clean him up a little though.

          1. blondepoet profile image79
            blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            LMAO I will make sure he phones home occassionally if I can find the telephone!!!!

    2. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      LOL....Funny Pic!  I think the John likes him.  smile

      1. TamCor profile image79
        TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Now WHAT gave you that idea???  lololol   lol

        1. Tom Cornett profile image54
          Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          The toilet is attacking his butt!  smile

          1. TamCor profile image79
            TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            lol  Attacking, or....cuddling???  hahaha

      2. blondepoet profile image79
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Not to mention my loo repair bills............. smile smile

        http://i513.photobucket.com/albums/t334/photobucket-zz/funny%20photos/bathroom-sign.jpg

        1. Tom Cornett profile image54
          Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          What was he really doing to make the potty fall off the wall?  Maybe thumping old Theodore?

          1. blondepoet profile image79
            blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Hahahahaha I would say he was thumping something and it definitely wasn't me.

            Now if all toilets were like this imagine the TP we would save

            http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp64/xxxLoveMaddyxxx/thfunny_animated_pictures_03.gif

            1. TamCor profile image79
              TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww............hahahaha!!!!  lol

              1. blondepoet profile image79
                blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                I swear my loo looks just like this after 6 rounds of Midori LMAO.

                1. TamCor profile image79
                  TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  Ummm, I am so embarassed to ask, but what's Midori????  big_smile

                  1. blondepoet profile image79
                    blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    Oh Tam you would love it. It is an alchoholic drink that women drink. A bit of sweet melon taste, out of this world. You mix it with lemonade and red stuff.

            2. Tom Cornett profile image54
              Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              LOLOLOLOL!  smile

  19. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    yes, well, I can't believe it either!  We are still discussing toilet tissue - and not one person wanted to discuss the CIA with me the other day!  What is the world coming to?

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      CIA.....this is a secret code for "Charmin Intelligence Agent!"  Discussions here are top secret and will be wiped away with invisible stuff.  smile

  20. 0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    not quite sure, I just spin it like a slot machine, when it stops, it's all good smile

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Hahaha plus you need more if you have to blow your nose.

    2. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Three prunes?  smile

  21. Greek One profile image80
    Greek Oneposted 6 years ago

    2 rolls.. damn fiber cereal

  22. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    seriously.  I had a roommate once who used to wrap the tp around her hand 4 times every time she used it - not just for #2 but EVERY TIME!  I made her buy the tp when I found that out.  Don't ask how I found that out.  lol  yes, we were JUST ROOMMATES!

  23. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    Hurry up, would you?  Someone has been waiting to get into this thread!

    1. TamCor profile image79
      TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lololol  Good one!  lol

  24. Kangaroo_Jase profile image80
    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 6 years ago

    And not one person has debated about scrunching Vs folding........weird.

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I am a scruncher no time for folding......otherwise I would have no time for finding all the things I have lost.

      I find personally Aussie men spend heaps time on the loo, they find it a peaceful haven, a place to meditate....crazy bunch they are.

      1. TamCor profile image79
        TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this



        Believe me, that's just men in general...I know, I live with two...ROFL!!!

        1. blondepoet profile image79
          blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Funny bunch aren't they lol?? Isn't that right Tom???

          1. Tom Cornett profile image54
            Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Absolutely...my depth is as deep as Poe....then....somebody farts....I lose it!  smile

            1. blondepoet profile image79
              blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              hahahahahaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

        2. earnestshub profile image87
          earnestshubposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Ah yes! The dunny! As an Aussie male I can relate to this. smile A place to get inspiration, a holy place, sanctuary from the dishes, the children's screams, the wife's nagging about petty stuff like changing yer undies twice in the same year, stuff like that! smile

          1. Tom Cornett profile image54
            Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            I like the word "Dunny"  smile

            1. blondepoet profile image79
              blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              In Oz land we also call it the 'bog'.

              1. Tom Cornett profile image54
                Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                The bog?  I love that too!  A log in the bog.  Jog to the bog.  smile

                1. TamCor profile image79
                  TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  I think, on that note, I will sign off for the night, sweetie, but great poetry, or was that a haiku???  lol

                  Good night all!!!

                  1. Tom Cornett profile image54
                    Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    Goodnight Tammy...goodnight everybody....goodnight John Boy....goodnight Erin....goodnight Mary Ellen.....Jim Bob, put that jar of Vaseline right back where you got it!  smile

            2. TamCor profile image79
              TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              And I suppose NOW you're going to be using that term for it...with an Aussie accent...aren't you????

              Now see what you've started, Earnest????   

              lol lol lol

              1. Tom Cornett profile image54
                Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                I'm off to the Dunny....honey!  smile

                1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image80
                  Kangaroo_Jaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  Yup, and even before the ubiquitous Dunny, it was known as the Thunder-box

                  1. Tom Cornett profile image54
                    Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    Thunder-box?  Oh yeah...."Women glow and men thunder"...cool!  smile

      2. Tom Cornett profile image54
        Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        We American men too...I think it's a Throne Complex.   smile

        1. TamCor profile image79
          TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          See?  What'd I tell ya???  lol

    2. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Folder here!  smile

      1. blondepoet profile image79
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Ooooo you are so petite lololol.

        1. Tom Cornett profile image54
          Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          A manly fold...bulging biceps....I slam that shit paper like Chuck Norris!  Yeah...hwaaaaaah!  smile

          1. TamCor profile image79
            TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Oh, it's getting deep in here now...pardon the pun... lol

            1. Tom Cornett profile image54
              Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Hey...I beat up a guy twice my size once....smashed up his damn wheel chair too!  mad

  25. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e399/black_kitten_69118/hard-toilet-paper.jpg

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  26. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    I say scrunch, and THEN fold!

    1. blondepoet profile image79
      blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Won't it be a messy fold if you screw it up first...

      1. mega1 profile image79
        mega1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        yesh.  plus CIA TP - they have a little counter thing hidden in the roller so they KNOW how much u used!   now if that don't hold things up for ya, I don't know what will!

  27. lrohner profile image84
    lrohnerposted 6 years ago

    http://i36.tinypic.com/2rqbtzs.jpg

    1. TamCor profile image79
      TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I need to print that out and hang it in our bathroom...as a warning about over-use, lol... big_smile

      1. Tom Cornett profile image54
        Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        28 sheets is not over use....a squeaky clean butt is a must for today's man.  smile

        1. TamCor profile image79
          TamCorposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          lol  Okay, now what can I say to THAT? hahahaha

    2. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I just tear a page of the book I'm reading...like Charles Dickens.
      It turned into Char Dick.  smile

      1. habee profile image90
        habeeposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        You do that to Dickens?? That's a sacrilege!

      2. timorous profile image90
        timorousposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Great Expectations perhaps? lol

  28. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    have you seen today's man around here anywhere?  I'm lookin' for his butt!  Tell him he forgot to wash his dishes!

    1. Tom Cornett profile image54
      Tom Cornettposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Did you check the Dunny Bog?  smile

  29. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g313/8xhx8/toiletpaper.jpg

    1. Ben Evans profile image73
      Ben Evansposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      That looks like John Wayne toilet paper.

      Tough as sand paper and wont take S**t off anyone.

  30. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e189/spacemonkey70/cattoiletpaper.gif

    ok, now I'm through with the subject!

  31. DzyMsLizzy profile image90
    DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

    Who counts??  Good grief! 

    LOVE the sandpaper roll photo!  ROFLMAO!  Reminds me of an old joke:

    Young kid is hired at a hardware store.  His first customer is a woman looking to buy TP.  The kid tells her, "I'm sorry, but we don't carry TP."
    The boss overhears, and scolds the kid, "Never let a customer walk out without buying something.  Tell them it's better!
    Next day, another woman comes in looking for TP.  The kid starts out, "We don't have TP," then recalls his employer's scolding, and hurries to add, "but we have sandpaper, and it's much better!"

    Also love the naughty kitty--this is where, yes, it DOES make a difference which way the TP unrolls!  We have 4 cats.  The paper had bloody well better roll off the bottom, against the wall, or we'll have just such a mess as depicted in the animation!
    TP coming off the top of the roll and waving in the breeze is just a bit too tempting for cats!  big_smile

  32. IntimatEvolution profile image82
    IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago

    I have a big-o bum, so I use alot of TP!smile

  33. blondepoet profile image79
    blondepoetposted 6 years ago

    http://www.porcelainpoetry.faketrix.com/content/pics/large/baby-pisses-for-distance-washroom-humor-photos.jpg

  34. 0
    ralwusposted 6 years ago

    this is a sh!tty thread.

  35. WryLilt profile image86
    WryLiltposted 6 years ago

    The best way to save on TP?

    Take a stack of books with you. The really bad ones get flushed down the toilet - the good ones you can write a hub about.

    Just don't stay there too long - or the redback on the dunny will getcha!

  36. mega1 profile image79
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    Attention!  All you who are flushing book pages down the toilet -STOP - you will plug your drains and if you have a septic tank you will clog the tank.  Don't be so cheep.  Spend a little less on your cell phone and more on good tp!  That's my advice.  anyway.  Yeh, careful with the book pages!

  37. timorous profile image90
    timorousposted 6 years ago

    [For the record...] I use maybe a foot and a half worth of TP, randomly scrunched or folded.  I wash my hands after, of course.

    btw, I've never understood why some people spend so long sitting on the throne.  Why not wait until it's becoming inevitable?  Let nature takes its course.  Also, it's not good to force the issue...this is what causes hemmorhoids you know neutral

    Eat your fibre, and drink that water, boys and girls smile

    Ahhhhh that's better big_smile

 
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